I've had to leave the SA community because there is no support there. Four trolls are having a hay day because the majority of the members are gone. I don't want to give them any more ammunition. They are attempting to fill my head with lots of negative thinking.
My therapist, DrB, wore shorts at my session last week. He has never done that before. He said he had to leave as soon as we were done because his daughter had a softball game. I totally freaked out and spent half the session dissociating. I told him I wasn't safe in his office. He was concerned about my behavior and asked me to do some thinking about the shorts situation and how it related to my past. It was an awful session - something that had not happened for a long time.
I have the answer now. *sigh* I am so very, very tired of all of this abuse crap.
I know I am safe in his office ... I've been counseling with him for 10 years. He would NEVER hurt me, not physically or emotionally. But last week I was just a mess of nerves by the time we neared the end of the session. He used the light bar and helped calm me before I left his office.
I just needed a listening ear. Thank you Bonnie for answering my post.
No snow yet ........... , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , I have not self-harmed in several years. And last week I wanted to so much but I kept myself very busy. Today I am watching our store manager's little boy who has strep throat. He's three and very snoopy, wanting to get into everything. By the end of the day I am concerned I will be very tired...not a good place to be regarding SH.
I hope you are feeling better this afternoon. I can sit on your other side in a large rocking chair. I'll bring a lantern so you will not be afraid of the dark. I'll bring some of my pink drink to quench your thirst. I'll bring my pink blanket to keep you warm and feeling safer. I'll sing to you to soothe you.
And if none of that helps you, just remember how long we have been friends.
We went through this, too. Both extended families would demand our presence at holidays. We stood our ground and stayed home. If they wanted to see the boys, they could stop by on another day.
Keep the entire holiday season the way you want. Stick to your guns. Don't let either family shame you into compliance. Tell them you are tired, the baby is too young for a lot of commotion, and you and your husband are going to have a quiet day at home.
Don't give in to guilt trips, bribery, or being told you are making a bad decision. You are adults and you have the right to make your holiday plans the way you want them.