Thank you OWT. I managed to go to the class - it was the 3rd one of 6 and each time I go it gets harder - and I felt rubbish throughout. I used to enjoy dancing but I just didn't want to be there. I don't think a whole wall of mirrors helps either all I can see is a fat horrible blob being reflected back at me. it makes all my judgements increase loads. View Thread
sorry not been around much. been very busy and haven't really known how to talk.
feeling so low. can't stop urges popping into my head. got a dance class to go to now but the very idea of it is freaking me out. just want to hide away. got so many things going on I don't know where to start. eating too much rubbish. too fat. hate myself, my body and my mind. I am a failure. why can't I get better. everyone things I am doing so well but feel so shaky with my grip on things. have to go to dance class, paid so if I don't go thats a waste of money. then I am meant to go to a mates birthday bash at the pub where I work. Also can't face that but I don't think many others are going so I have to.
so so low, just want to hide away and stop the world. can't face being a responsible adult right now. haven't cleaned the kitchen for over a week. everything is a mess. I am rubbishView Thread
just to update you all it is finally raining over here - first time it has properly rained for nearly 2 months. good to smell the earth and the grass.
I hope that is enough of a space
I had some upsetting news today. A really lovely guy who drinks in the pub I work in took an overdose last night. he took about of his antidepressants - I didn't even click he was on them. He was in the pub last night, while I was working, and seemed in good spirits. It was his 50th birthday on tuesday.
He is in intensive care, critical, in a medically induced coma. they will try and bring him round tomorrow and see if there is any response. at the moment it is 50/50. I can't stop thinking about him. I just want to give him a hug. he is such a good caring man. He had just applied for a job and everything.
the other thing that hurts is that if I hadn't bumped into the chef in town nobody would have told me about what happened. I didn't say anything straight away to see what happened and nobody told me. that hurts me. I have worked there for over 7 months now. I know the locals, even though I don't go drinking there (totally the other side of town from where I live, and not the nicest pub anyway) and I care about them so why didn't anyone say anything to me.
got work in the morning but just want to get drunk and hurt. been doing so well. my dbt T is really pleased with me (appoint today went well) and I have been cutting down on my meds - not totally with my dr's agreement - but this has thrown me a curve ball.
oh rubbish my post has also been eaten by the post monsters
will try and remember what I said.
I am based in the UK so I think it probably works differently over here. I have recently finished 12 months of weekly group sessions and will shortly finish 18 months of weekly individual sessions (the individual ones run alongside the group sessions).
The group sessions focus on learning skills and working out how you can use them in your daily life. It isn't like spilling your problems to a whole bunch of strangers. You don't have to talk about anything that you don't want to. The individual sessions work more on specific issues and how to use the skills to help you deal with them.
DBT has helped me SO much and I would recommend it to anyone.
I am based in the uk and it seems to run differently over here. I have just finished a years worth of weekly session and will have had a total of 18 months of individual by the time I have finished. (the individual weekly sessions run alongside the group sessions)
It HAS helped loads and continues to do so. The group sessions are based on learning skills and working out how to put them into practice rather than delving into your problems.
It's alot of time to invest but it's SO SO worth it.
[Trigger] ofdjdfjvnfdjvnrogbdfnkjvn......................////////////////////////////////////// saftey lines just in case /////////////////////////////////////////////////
think that is enough
feeling so low. trying so hard to keep it together. can't face going into college or doing any of the work I should be doing. Can't stop thinking about hurting myself. all torn up inside. so much hate inside, need to get it out of me and the only way I know is to hurt. I want to slice the pain out. nothing is worth it, so tired of trying and getting it wrong. going back to sh'ing will keep it all under control and I will be able to feel again.View Thread