and because birthdays should always go on passed the actual day I have only just arrived SURPRISE hehehehe
I have brought a band of helpers and we are going to clean up all the party mess for a start and then start doing all the things that you haven't had time for/can't face doing etc while you have a lovely day doing nothing but playing with your bundle of loveliness or sleeping or sitting in the sunny garden or doing any other rewarding things your heart desires. Relaxing is the order of the day OTW so I hope this helps
oh yeah I have also brought some yummy lemon pollenta cake and some gorgeous English tea.
I'm so sorry you have been struggling. I would just like to say you are NOT fat, frumpy or ugly. I know it's hard to believe but you aren't.
You gave birth less than 6 months ago for goodness sake. I think there must be hormones that take over as well cause a very old friend of mine was upset having given birth a few months previously that she was still a uk size 8 (normally a uk size 6) and was hating being in her 'fat', boring clothes still' - I nearly slapped her (but didn't).
the whole body image thing is such a trigger isn't it - really struggling with it myself atm - sometimes the only way I can try and get out of it is by saying the following to myself... ok so they are skinny little bitches but I bet they are miserable or they don't have the wonderful things I have in my life or they will end up in a dead end job with saggy boobs and flabby thighs etc I sometimes try and picture them in 50 years time in the most hideous outfit I can think of and with all the worst physical attributes I can think of. Childish I know but sometimes it works.
L loves you to bits. You have given him the joy that comes with being a father. Don't be too hard on yourself - rather than thinking 'he is only saying he loves me as I am because I asked him' (or something similar) you could think he is being truthful and really does love me.
Oh and by the time Lennox is ready for school you will all sorted anyway.
sorry for the rambling state of this - it's been a very long day and I have a 14 hour day tomorrow so really should go to bed.
D is doing all he can - the system here is overworked and backed up but he has an appointment for assessment. He will then be put on a waiting list for the therapy/intervention that is the best for him. Until he gets the treatment he needs he is going to go to NA meetings once a week. The only way for him to go straight into a detox centre is if he went private and he just doesn't have that sort of money.
I was a bit emotional about it yesterday and he urged me to call al-anon, which I did. Had appoint with dbt t today and talked about what had happened. D and I have laid out some clear ground rules and worked out how to stick to them. Have appoint with cpn next week as well. I know where the local al-anon meeting is and when so have the option of that.
He told his sister yesterday and mentioned sorting out his drinking to his boss today - both of which I think is good, not secret etc, other people knowing.
I know it is early days yet but he has had less to drink in the past 4 days than he would normally have in one day - and has said he is enjoying it so fingers crossed.
I know some of you think I must be stupid given everything that has been said so I apologise to you but the way I was brought up means I can't turn my back on someone close to me who needs love and care to help them get stronger/deal with their demons. (and yes it has caused me problems in the past, one friend bit me and broke the skin in 5 places when I was trying to help him). In my mind it is 'do unto others as you would have them do unto you'View Thread
[Trigger] He rang the helpline a few weeks ago. They said because he has been drinking alot for so long it would be medically unwise to go cold turkey and to cut down before he stopped and that he shouldn't do it unsupervised. He told me about the conversations as soon as he rang and I have no reason not to doubt him on that.View Thread
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