D and I talked lots last night. He went to an NA meeting last night and until he has something else in place is going to go every week. He has been told (by one of the helplines he has rung) that stopping drinking straight out is not going to be helpful so cutting down is the order of the day. He is now keeping a drinks diary.
He is doing a huge amount of thinking and exploring what else is on offer - anger management, counselling etc. We are going to look at some couples counselling as well.
I am not letting him off but I am willing to give him a chance to try and change. Last night when we were talking he said he has just realised that he is also a self harmer and is beginning to understand how hard it is for me to not sh.
I'm still running on autopilot and haven't reacted to what happened yet so not quite sure what will happen when it all comes out but am going to try and keep myself safe.
Thank you all once again. I hope I am doing the right thingView Thread
[Trigger] safe lines la la la ---------------------------------------------lsdkhv[ -a0dfu' weh tusvys[e yqr qcu0d nghwutyq0[ef adivnokgowrt30r93-e11' 2ruieg[0YRW3O Q0FH Ie[f wo4ytg[sfhqk3jrwn4bfs;d sdgy4wrjwekbdjosgs 0dawrew----------------------------------------------think that should be enough
I think I am in shock. D and I went out to a pub last night and had a lovely time, went back to a friends house for more drinks and got home around 3.30am
all fine so far
I went to bed and d wanted more to drink so stayed up. He came to be and before I knew it he was shouting and screaming and saying he wanted to blow his brains out (he has a shotgun in the house cause he goes clay pigeon shooting). I tried to stop him - did hit him to try and make him snap out of it - but he ended up grabbing me round the throat and not letting go. he totally lost it and scared the hell out of me.
I can't feel anything at the moment - other than the pain in my throat when i swallow, breathe etc - all my feelings have shut down and I am scared when they come back on line I am going to lose it and do things I have been trying so so hard not to do.
d is currently on the phone to a helpline about his drinking which is good but I just needed to tell someone what has happened and I know you guys are all wonderful.
Thinking there may be bruising to come out yet and worried about how to deal with that as well.
Was quite pleased with myself - I have a huge prob with self/body image etc and managed, for the first time ever, to go into a sauna. In fact I went into 3 different ones. Huge huge accomplishment for me. I also haggled over price for a purchase and although I accepted his first offer I am still really pleased with myself.
In my area the DBT is run in sections with group running alongside individual. Each rotation is 6 months and they expect you to do 2 rotations so group happens for a year while individual carries on for another 6 months after. Basically I graduate from my DBT group tomorrow - scary stuff ARGHHH
On an other good note I have just finished my tax return and they owe me over £180 View Thread
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