Is there any safe medical help for a woman in her 50s who no longer likes to have sex? Does anyone have any success stories on how to turn this problem around? I don't see how a marriage can last very long if one marriage partner doesn't want to share in the intimacy of sex.View Thread
I had a hysterectomy Dec 2008. At first I had no issues then I started to get BV often. It seemed everytime my husband and myself would have sex, about 2 days later I had BV. . When we got together I would get them more often then I was used to but I just figured it was due to being with someone new but it was only maybe 2-3x out the year. It has become so frequent that the doctor actually prescribed me refills. I asked my doctor if I could be allergic to my husband she suggested we try condoms and see if that helps. We did, having sex then waiting 2 days to see if anything changed. I was fine. Then we tried without the condom just not ejaculating inside. It seemed to work but 3 days later again. I use so much stuff to keep my ph balanced that I feel like I'm working to hard to just have sex. Now not only do I have an issue with the BV but now I'm having issues with my bladder and vaginal irritation. Had cultures, ultra sounds on my bladder and tubes (still have them), urine test and each one has come up negative. I asked if it could be hormonal from the hysterectomy but she dismissed it (I'm 35) saying I'm too young to be going through pre-menopause.
I feel I'm literally spending more time and money just trying to have sex with my husband without being in pain than I am living. It's getting so bad that there are times we only have sex once a month because I'm scared.
If anyone could offer some suggestions or has gone through this please help.View Thread
My husband is 44 years old. When we met 15 years ago, we could have sex several times a day. Over time, our sex dwindled to rarely ever as we raised our child. Now that our son is 11 and spending more time away from home, we find we have more time for each other and therefore more time for bonding and sex.
My understanding is that the time between one ejaculation and the next is called the "refractory time." Feel free to correct me . We had sex Saturday morning and Saturday night. Sunday morning he lost his erection part way through but was able to recover with a caressing break. That night, I gave him a body massage and he seemed very much into it but wasn't able to maintain for intercourse
Is this "normal"? What is a more realistic "expectation?" (For lack of a better word). Is there advice for maintaining a harder erection for longer? I have heard kegels help...View Thread
I met my ex boyfriend in December 2013 on a raunchy dating website, during April our relationship changed he became more insecure. he looked at my Facebook messages when I accidently didn't log off his laptop, he got a friend to hack my phone, he told me because I had two phone s one on contract and one on pay as you go. I was fishy. I kept the pay as you go as the number was on my CV`s,I am looking for work. although in January I arranged to meet another man, and this didn't happen, I was honest and told him when he found the message at the time he had his ex over to stay and was getting back with her. ever since all or arguments are based on his insecurity and jealousness. he went through my Facebook friends even messaging some to ask if I had slept with them. I really liked this guy, I had to delete friends, my profile on dating websites I had not used for ages. im at my wits end. I finally said no to meeting him to say goodbye as this is just cruel to me. I feel numb. I hope something good comes out of this.View Thread
We never had intercourse before we got married and we recently married, he cant seem to stay hard long enough...
Posted by An_258367
We never had intercourse before we got married and we recently married, he cant seem to stay hard long enough for us to have sex, and if he does then he goes soft fairly fast, he is frustrated about it and I am feeling as though it is my fault. I was married previously and my ex husband had the same issue, in his case he hated sex as well, they found out that he had super low T, my new husband does not have low T and he wants sex and says I am sexy but I can hardly believe him anymore, I dont feel sexy and I don't know what it is, he has mentioned a couple times already that it was me but then he said he was just upset. Neither of us have health insurance and I don't know what to do? I am worried about him but he seems perfectly healthy. I am very sad, I just want to have a good sexual relationship with my husband! I can't help but wonder if I am not attractive or what is up with me cause both guys have had this issue! I have tried other methods of sex and he was fine with them but intercourse seems to be a no go. Anyone have any advice?!?View Thread
I started dating my boyfriend about 4 months ago. In the beginning, sex was fine, but after a few weeks it...
Posted by An_258351
I started dating my boyfriend about 4 months ago. In the beginning, sex was fine, but after a few weeks it began to feel painful, as if I had a rip (at the opening of the vagina/first inch or two it felt like). As time went on, sex varies being mostly pleasurable to mostly painful. He's had problems with past relationships in this regard as well. We've tried all different positions. Since the initial signs of pain, I'm now experiencing pain deeper in the vaginal canal as well as soreness. We are having sex about 3-5 per week, but we'd both like to go back to being able to have sex more frequently.
The facts are: Every few times I bleed after sex. It's really the girth that's the problem since the length can be controlled. Doggy style seems to hurt the least We are using store bought lube and there is plenty of foreplay involved for natural lubrication as well. I've tried deep breathing to relax the muscles just before penetration.
We've read several online articles and they all repeat the same things in regards to foreplay, lubrication, positions, etc. Unfortunately we're incorporating all of this and are still having significant problems.
I did see my OB/GYN at the beginning signs of pain when it felt as if there was a single tear, and she said she did not see anything and suggested the above points.
Has anyone had a similar situation or a new recommendation to try to resolve or alleviate some of the problem?View Thread
Hi. I shaved my pubic region yesterday. And I applied a little phitkari (alum) on the whole region, including...
Posted by An_258328
Hi. I shaved my pubic region yesterday. And I applied a little phitkari (alum) on the whole region, including the length of my penis. There was some redness and itching so I applied some mustard oil before going to sleep. And since I got up this morning, my whole penis ihas been swollen. There is no pain, discomfort or burning sensation and I am passing urine without any problems. What could this be? And why is this happening? And should I put some ice on it? Please help. Ps: There has been no sexual activity and no masturbation. I am 23 and healthy with no STDs.View Thread
I really hope people are still seeing and replying to this discussion. I had my mirena put in roughly 8 months ago. This last week/week and a half I've been spouting every other day. Slight lower abdomen cramping (nothing persistent) and no other symptoms. Has anyone else experienced this or had a similar experience? If so, what is happening to me?View Thread
For a couple months now, I've been having 3 periods a month. Not just spotting, real 5 day long periods. I'm 20 and this is most certainly not normal for me. Took 2 pregnancy tests, both negative. Not on any birth control. I've also been having pain during intercourse and recently fatigue and dizziness. I made an appt with the gyne, but no one could get me in soon, so I still have a month before my appt. it's been driving me nuts! Any ideas why this is happening?View Thread
The nerves near the tip of my penis was damaged in an incident years ago. They never healed. I have reduced...
Posted by An_258311
The nerves near the tip of my penis was damaged in an incident years ago. They never healed. I have reduced sensation and cannot come during intercourse. Even using a vibrator to masturbate, it is very difficult -- sometimes I just give up. Are there other ways to stimulate oneself to come? Acupuncture? Electrical stimulation? Biofeedback?View Thread
I am turning 30 yrs old and my hubby is 40 years old. Our sex life was good during dating and after 2 years...
Posted by An_258306
I am turning 30 yrs old and my hubby is 40 years old. Our sex life was good during dating and after 2 years it went downhill. 1 month after marriage, I found out the reason. He cheated on me with his colleague, they were sexting and having sex till the day he propose to me. We dated for 4 years before getting married. That was 2 years ago. We fought about it but i didn't divorce due to some reason and also he did not admitted it. We have a child who is turning 1 year now. All these while i have been initiating sex. He will either say he is tired or not in the mood. Out of 5 times of initiating, maybe i will get lucky 1 time. I know he is not cheating but sort of putting himself out there for choices but not crossing the line. I tried communicating with him, but sex topic is shutting him off. He will say that he is getting old but i know its not the real reason. He doesn't get turn on by me - tried sexy bras and panties, sexting, foreplay. He would just turn off and say i am trying to hard. Sexting he will just ignore me and not carry on the msg. As a woman, beginning rejected so many times...its damaging and i feel so hurt. When i am not trying, he doesn't initiate. It has been 4 years of me initating. I don't feel wanted by him at all. But in terms of being a good father and husband, he is still okay. Been talking to guys now and i am tempted to cross the line....View Thread
Hello. I am a healthy 28 y/o female, recently married to a man 2 years younger than me. I have a soon to be 5 year old son. My husband has a very high and active sex drive. Mine seems non existent the majority of the time. Its been really frustrating for both of us as we are newly weds and feel like we should have the opposite problem. The only medication I am taking is my BC - ortho tricyclen lo. I started taking it in January before we got married. My job could be considered stressful during the school year but currently is pretty quiet. I eat healthy, exercise regularly, and am completely in love with my husband and am physically attracted to him. But I just cannot seem to get myself in the mood.. I've also been experiencing some dryness that is really unusual for me. I don't know what to do! any ideas or suggestions would be greatly appreciated!View Thread
I have had the implanon removed for almost 2 months now. I had af on 6/5-6/9. I have yet to get af. I have been having pregnancy symptoms such as light bleeding, tingly breast, and light cramps I've also been very tired. I have taken 2 pregnancy test but both test were negative. Has anyone else experienced these kind of symptoms after having the implanon removed?View Thread
Im 20 years old as of next month and ive come across a problem that really blows my mind. i have lost almost...
Posted by An_258279
Im 20 years old as of next month and ive come across a problem that really blows my mind. i have lost almost all of my sexual drive and it's been this way for almost a year. throughout highschool i was extremely sexually active, almost every other day, and now i feel completely different towards sex. this could be to my relation that ended about a year ago, i thought i was in love with the girl and still think that to this day. when we broke up i cldn't get an erection for almost 4 months and then when it past and i started regularly getting them i figured i was over that but now i still find that even if i can get one it doesnt mean i want to go through with it. i realize that my problems may be phsycological in that i miss who i used to be with but i was fine 2 months ago and now its coming back. it also seems like i have trouble getting close with most people. a couple things ive noticed is that ive picked up a lot of responsibilities since high school with my job and maybe that adds stress, also my brain since to process things more eligantly almost like im becoming more of a man. i knowthis is all weird i just wanted to get it out there because i really dont know whats going on with me. so if someone can just shed a little light that would be great. and to rule out a few things im in good shape played sports all my life and im going into the navy so i do feel a sense of direction. and i stay pretty calm throughout the day i meditate every so often.View Thread
Apologies in advance for long story...i am an healthy 31 year old male who has NEVER EVER had any problems obtaining or maintaining an erection. I recently met what i can only describe as the girl of my dreams. We've been dating steadily since the end of May. A few days ago, she was finally ready to have sex for the first time. I had spent the entire day hoping and planning for exactly that outcome. I had no alcohol in my system at all, or any drugs or medication, but perhaps a lot of nerves and anxiety. Simply put, I failed to get an erection. I was completely embarrassed and shamed. It had literally NEVER happened to me before. And the crazy part is that i am insanely attracted to her and want her SO badly. I cannot imagine what went wrong. She was amazingly cool about it, said not to worry, and that we would try again. Just a couple of days later (probably too soon, but i was so desperate to try again...) she wanted to meet again and we wound up giving it another shot. It was a LITTLE better, as i was able to achieve an erection at first, but then i gradually lost it until it was no longer possible to continue. This time she was noticeably upset, and is now wondering if we just aren't "sexually compatible." I have NO IDEA WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME. Never, EVER has this ever been a problem before. And she is the first woman in a LONG time that i have developed real, actual feelings for, yet somehow i cannot perform for her sexually. I realize this is all in my head and a result of some kind of anxiety, but i can't seem to get out of my own head (no pun intended).
Please, I am completely desperate and so afraid i'm going to lose her. She wants some space and time to think, but seemed to indicate i might get one more shot. I haven't felt this way about someone in so long and if i lose her now i don't know that i'll recover emotionally for a long time. I am able to masturbate normally and maintain an erection while even kissing her or just being near her. Yet the anxiety in the act is suddenly so overwhelming i go soft.
Has anyone every experienced anything similar? I don't want to resort to pills, but i am willing to try...i'd do anything not to lose her. I just don't want to become dependent on them.
Thanks for ANY help and your understanding....View Thread
My boyfriend can only keep an erection when he masturbates. I now think it has something to do with me. I don't know what to do. He has satisfied himself for so long with porn and masturbation that he thinks that is the problem. I am not so sure. I have become very self conscious about the way I look and the way I do things that I am now thinking it is all my fault. I actually thought he had stopped masturbating but woke up the other night and caught him. He told me, I don't have an orgasm, I am only stroking to the porn. What gives? I have been standing beside him and trying to help him for months now. I feel ugly and disgusting. I feel like a failure. I don't even want to talk to him about the issue anymore. This man is loving and caring. Passionate and kind. Thoughtful. But maybe this is a bigger issue than I can help him with?View Thread
I have the same problem, but with my wife. Sex was normally three times a week, but after we got married it dropped to 1 time a week. Two years later I'm lucky if I get it once a month. When I explain to her how important sex is to me, she accuses me of only wanting her for sex. I never cheated on her and I never planned on doing that to her. I am very attractive to my wife and I don't know what to do.
Honestly, I'm lost. I consider myself to be fairly attractive. I'm 5'11 tall and with some muscle definition. I can last hours during intercourse and I have a larger than average penis. I'm not trying to gloat or anything, I'm just lost and confuse. I try everything I can. I walk around in my underwear, I work out in front of her, and I lift weights in front of her. I tell her how pretty she is and how attractive she looks and I get nothing out of it. I always make sure she finishes when we do have sex and I always do most of the work during sex. I go down on her and I four play with her. I'm tired of hearing her tell me that she is too tired for sex or telling me that she will have sex with me on a particular night and then getting the cold shoulder when I approach her for sex.
Hello, You probably see this question repeatedly but you seem like the type of support group that is good to...
Posted by An_258128
Hello, You probably see this question repeatedly but you seem like the type of support group that is good to talk to. I am 16 and recently became sexually active (April of 2014 to be exact). There is always a fear that I will become pregnant so I am not very sexually active. The last time I was it was June 28th and the last day of ovulation (so it said on an app). We had sex 3 times that night and used a condom every time. I was going to wait until I got birth control (which was only a few days after) but as most know in the heat of the moment the body wants what the body wants. I took a home pregnancy test 10 days after I had sex (using a condom, I am always safe) and it came up as negative. That was 4 days before I was supposed to get my period. I am now 2 days late and getting very nervous. I've been stressing out about this for weeks now. So, my question is; What is the likely hood of me being pregnant? we did shower together but there was no entering of anything. we also do foreplay but he never touched himself and then touched me and I never touched myself after touching him. I've been reading websites which puts thoughts in my head and makes me stress out even more. Thank you for reading please reply earliest to your convenience. AllyView Thread
In our 20 years of marriage , my wife has had 3 orgasms...she described them as not very intense, of no real interest to her. She has no desire for more , or ones of more intensity. They were the only ones she has had in her life. She says she is very happy with our sex life. All of that is fine for her but is really not very good for me.....it reduces my sexual self-esteem and confidence to almost zero and makes me dread having sex with her as I know that the outcome will be disappointing. I should add that she admits to having no libido and I always have to suggest and initiate sex....nothing has changed in the slightest in our sex 'routine' in 20 years....and she is very resistant to change.Any suggestions?View Thread
The girl I've been seeing recently has told me that she isn't interested in sex, never has been never will...
Posted by An_258092
The girl I've been seeing recently has told me that she isn't interested in sex, never has been never will be. She has a kid too. I'm wondering what would cause a girl to say that? She's a terrific girl and I can see our relationship progressing really far, but I'm worried about the lack of sexual desire. She says she only really has wanted sex every 3-4 months. Now me, I'm a very sexual guy, not just because of how it feels but also because of the spiritual connection I feel with my partner during the act. So therefore the lack of desire worries me. I see so many married couples that fall through because of the lack of sex, but usually at the beginnings of the relationship there is a lot more sex in any relationship. I love the feeling of being wanted and accepted, but I'm worried that she won't be able to give me that. She's also not hugely interested in cuddling or touching and kissing, but she doesn't say no to me kissing her or hugging her.
I'd like opinions. Is there a reason for her lack of desire? She hasn't wanted to tell me why cause she's not comfortable enough yet, and that sentence has me worried.
I'm worried about it because I've been in love with her for 2 years but our relationship finally has started and I'm scared that it might not be right with the girl I've been infatuated with. I know I'm droning on, I apologize, I just want other peoples thoughts. ThanksView Thread
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