I agree with your last statement. Someday it will be too late.
It feels like you just got together because it seemed like the right thing to do. Got married cuz it was the right thing to do. Had kids, bought the house, and stayed married cuz it seemed like the right thing to do. ?
My guess is the dilemma is change more than anything. You do what you've always done. You're comfortable with everyday life, even though you're miserable inside.
Change can be a scary thing! But I myself am much more afraid of waking up 20 years from now and feeling regret and resentment!
Maybe you don't just up and leave now, but make a plan. Give a timeframe for real change to happen. Then decide what you want to do next.
I just feel there is no reason to live the rest of your life feeling the way you do. Being happy is so worth it. I really wish you luck.
Mutual masturbation 3-4 times a year and no sex for years? I don't know how you've done it. You really want to keep doing this for the next 30 years?
Consider things you did in your 20's that you regret and wish you could change. How you might have done differently.. Now do you really want to be 70 and looking back on being 50 and wishing you would've had the guts to make a change? Regretting how you just let life pass you by because you were comfortable at the time? Because change is scary?
Sorry, I feel like I'm rambling. Just get serious about changes that need to happen and the repercussions that follow. Whether with her or without her. Just not what you're doing now.View Thread
And considering your reply to me I call TROLL, and won't be responding to you anymore. Go somewhere else and quit wasting people's time around here because people actually tend to care on this forum.View Thread
You are NOT going to figure this out by inspecting her vagina. Just stop that part first, now!
Talk with her. Ask her specific questions about what she's doing and what you're fearing. Ask her for specific answers.
My personal take is this -- we, as humans, have what is referred to as a 6th sense. In a nutshell it is your body reacting to her body language. I feel it's safe to trust in that 6th sense, UNLESS you know yourself to be naturally overly jealous in all relationships. If the latter is the case then you have some work to do on yourself and should seek out help for the chance at a successful relationship sometime in your life.
But again, to break this down to the simplistic, you don't trust her at all (for one reason or the other - doesn't matter) and that is NO foundation for a marriage. Seek pre-marital counseling if you believe you must go forward with this. I don't see why you want to go forward. I don't understand how someone could be anywhere near 'perfect' for you when you think they are cheating on you? Think about it.View Thread
Please also take into consideration that you are putting the man you love in a position to possibly be responsible for your death. That's really not fair or worth it. And it's not going to ease anyone's conscience that you wanted him to keep going.
Do some research and find other rough/extreme sex acts to try. Obviously you have a partner happy and willing to go down that road. And a good man willing to speak up with his concerns.
Another problem is that you're not going to know when you're about to pass out except when it's happening (ie. too late). And the risk of brain damage is as real as death.View Thread
You need to realize that because he's been doing this since the beginning of your relationship that that means he's lied to you since the beginning of your relationship, which means you've never truly known this man because your whole relationship has been a lie.
This person you think you know and think you love doesn't exist.
You've been with a con man that has shown you what you've wanted to see all this time. There is no room for you to fix him. It's impossible to fix another person. Consider that this would've all kept happening if you hadn't found out. He's a con man. Not the person you think you know!
Chalk it up as a learning experience and move on. Don't waste years of your life expecting some change to happen only to find out he's become a better liar and another 2 years have passed you by.View Thread
Yeah, at the very least you could switch your birth control.
There was one kind I took that after a couple months I noticed that there was nothing in the way of sexual desire. I always have had a high sex drive, and there was suddenly "nothing". It's hard to explain past that. I never knew how people could have no libido until then. I switched bc and things went back to normal for me. I hope it can be that easy for you also! Good luck.View Thread
I never meant to imply you were a "naive little girl". I was just showing sympathy because as Gail said most of us have been there. It doesn't have to do with being naive, or dumb. All it means is you trusted someone and they took advantage of that. But it's true that the answer is in front of you. Trust what you know and what your gut tells you.View Thread