Since he is now clearly aware of your desire for sex and is still unwilling to take care of your needs while he selfishly indulges in sex with himself, it is up to you to accept that celibacy is tolerable or you can reevaluate your position that divorce or separation is off the table.
I could accept celibacy in the case of physical impairment of my partner but I would have trouble while he is self pleasuring would be very difficult.
I agree with Question. Masturbation is fine until it interferes with partnered sex. View Thread
No! It seems unnecessary and a bit trashy. I've never experienced it but I think it would be more of a turn-off than a turn-on. I am afraid it would demean the acts that I revere. It is not a religious thing with me but it seems somehow disrespectful. View Thread
You are painting women with a very broad brush. Sure, there are many women with low libidos, but there are also men with little interest in sex. I have gal friends that have no interest in sex from years and tears of loneliness while being in an otherwise compatible marriage. Getting their mind off it is better than enduring the sexual frustration; after a while you don't miss it. Mismatched libidos are common. During our twenties I had trouble keeping up with my guy. I caught up with him and passed him in our late thirties and didn't fall behind again until menopause. Now in our fifties we are closely matched and enjoying a very active sex life. I don't dispute your situation but it is not universal. View Thread
I am in my late fifties and I can tell you that it depends on several factors. If she has been regularly sexually active it is easier for her to lubricate naturally with foreplay. (The old "use it or lose it" is very true in this case.) If she is receiving hormone replacement therapy it also helps with natural lubrication. If she hasn't had regular sex and not on HRT she can have dry and thinning vaginal tissues and experience uncomfortable or painful sex, so be gentle. Post menopausal women appreciate Astro-Glide.
Jill, it is normal and not unhealthy. By the time I was your age I was married with two kids and was too exhausted most of the time to self-indulge. My husband supplied all the sex I needed plus some. He wanted more sex than I did at that time in my life. A few years later my libido caught up with him. Masturbation is only a problem when it interferes with your life and/or your relationship. View Thread
Sex toys are fun and can spice things up but I think you must be careful using food items as sex toys. I once read that people who have allergies to ragweed should stay away from using bananas in their orifices. Non-organic foods not peeled could also have pesticides that may be problematic. Using a condom over items (sex toys included) may be a way to protect yourself, but make sure to wash your hands and consider that the condom may slip off. I believe sugary items (candy, etc) in the vagina can cause a nasty yeast infection. Any item that is not properly cleaned could also cause an UTI and they are not much fun. Another concern is to be sure what you insert you can also retrieve. I have never relished the idea of explaining to a care giver in the emergency room that I have a partial banana up there somewhere. View Thread