The incision made for C-sections is even larger than ones that may be made for vaginal delivery--your abdominal cavity was sliced open, your abs were cut in half, and that area needs time to heal. The muscles need to join together again, and multiple layers of tissue and skin need to mend.
If you feel capable of having sex before the 6 week mark, congratulations on having a stellar healing ability--but still, please hold off. If something goes wrong, the complications for jumping the gun following a c-section are even more severe than if you'd had vaginal delivery.View Thread
The ribbed/dotted condoms actually can feel better for me if:
it's round two & I'm loosened up & very wet
he starts off slow
most of the thrusting after initial stretch is fairly vigorous in and out--if he's mostly shallow, or mostly deep, I won't really feel the difference.
I'm lucky that I can climax vaginally--I am sensitive internally, and starting off with a novelty condom is uncomfortable because it's adding more bulk to an already tight fit, it's not as smooth as my guy is naturally, and it's just harder for my body to accept no matter how well-lubed I am.
On round two, I've already been stretched, I've already climaxed, and so has he. He's generally not quite as hard/erect or as urgent on round two, so it's easier to fit & give my body time to adjust--and that's when benefits of the novelty condom come in. Condoms tend to dull the sensation for him, so he'll last longer, which gives me more time to enjoy feeling him move inside me--it's definitely different.
Without them, I'm wet enough on the second round that sometimes I can't feel him--all I feel is pressure while he moves. With them, I get an extended version of round one--I can feel every move he makes, and even a little extra stimulation from the ribs/ect if he strokes a certain way.View Thread
Getting back to the original post...My number is one, my fiance's is seven. We came from radically different social spheres--he's a former jock, and his crowd regarded sex as recreation. I was more of a social loner--I mingled with different groups--choir, theater, swim team, science, art, and the united nations clubs...but I was just as happy being by myself. I was a romantic who believed in the existence of soul-mates, true love, chemistry and passion...& I didn't want to settle for less in a lover. I wasn't in love with anyone, didn't feel passionate about anyone, and I didn't even have the desire to experiment like some of my peers. In our respective High Schools, I was the Ice Princess and he was Casanova.
My guy grew up with a clique that regarded sex as fun, somewhat mandatory, and it was more or less his favorite form of recreation. I didn't see anything wrong with his views on sex, or with those of my friends who were sexually active, it just wasn't one that I shared. If there was one thing I fairly sure of, it was that sex was better with someone you loved--and that opinion was borne out by my friends who'd explored their sexuality, then found love down the line. I wanted to wait until I felt it myself.
He fell in love with me at first sight at college; it took significantly longer for me to return the sentiment. One roadblock neither of us expected was that when we began dating, his past and mine would come back to haunt us.
Since he'd never had a serious relationship before me, in fact, he'd only ever been having casual sex, a number of assumptions were made about me by his mom and his friends that I found extremely hurtful, and that he found infuriating--especially when one (now ex) friend smirked after he explained we were dating exclusively, looked me up and down, and said, "Yeah right. Your taste in party favors has improved; now when do I get a turn?" and his mom demanded that if he was going to continue seeing me, he'd better use condoms and get us both tested because God alone knew where I'd been. Since I'd never dated before, my own family didn't respect his presence or importance in my life due to the belief I lacked the experience to judge the validity of my feelings ie: I didn't know any better, and later, that I wasn't in love, I was infatuated, and I'd snap out of it. They even took it upon themselves to mention this belief to him on multiple occasions.
By the time I fell in love, he was sure he wanted to marry me, and by the time we got around to having sex, we blew each other's minds. For me, love was worth waiting for, and I'm aware that I'm incredibly lucky to have found it fairly early in life--and the sex is amazing, too
My fiance's past experience just makes him that much more grateful that he's found me at last. He had fun during his single days, but what we have together is far better than anything that came before. We've been together for several years now, and despite some rocky times, we're still going strong.View Thread
My guess is it has nothing to do with your level of attraction or love--you're just not in the mood to have sex all the time, and occasionally, you're not in the mood to have sex when he is. It's completely normal, and while hormones play a part, everyone experiences times when they're just not in the mood.View Thread
Have either of you recently gained a lot of weight (which could be putting additional pressure on your diaphragm while having sex, or causing your body to work harder than it's used to during sex)?
Has your level of physical activity outside of sex decreased to the point that strenuous exercise (in this case: vigorous sex) might make you ill?
Has he switched antiperspirants or colognes to something you might be allergic to?
Have you changed angles or positions you're using to something different than your usual repertoire?
Have you been having sex shortly after eating, drinking, or on a completely empty stomach?
Is it possible you're pregnant?
Have you recently started taking any new medications?
Essentially, if your system is being stressed through pressure, more exercise than it's used to, allergic response, or excess movement before your stomach has a chance to settle, it can lead to you feeling ill. Nausea can also be an indicator of pregnancy--'morning sickness' isn't limited to mornings, and I knew someone who felt ill following sex during the 1st trimester of her pregnancy & for part of the 2nd. Nausea and "may cause certain sexual side effects" are among some of the most common warnings on medicinal drugs--if you've started a new prescription, this may be an unpleasant side effect.View Thread
Hormonal imbalance might explain the unusual length of time between periods--so could being extremely physically active or stressed. I'd recommend caution before believing you have an abnormal sex-drive--some people have very high drives, some people have very low drives, and some people are wired for more fetish/exotic behaviors before their drive kicks in--no matter where you fall in the spectrum, it's generally completely natural.
If you do have a hormonal imbalance, medication may help regulate your periods, though I wouldn't expect it to do anything in regards to giving you a more feminine appearance. It sounds like you're genetically built to have a more willowy, lithesome frame, instead of being full-figured, and there's nothing wrong with that.
You can dress to flatter the figure you have, and the right clothes & accessories (and makeup) will go a long way towards projecting a more feminine you. From what you've described, I don't think you're weird looking (actually, I don't really think anyone's weird looking unless they've had too much plastic surgery, or a botched procedure). It just sounds like you're not built like a playboy bunny or Victoria Secret model, and that's fine.View Thread
Well...you could look into tantric sex. I've heard it works for some people. Alternatively, if your guy likes oral, and you like giving it to him, you could indulge in some foreplay to get you in the mood & lubed, then focus on him. When he's close to orgasm, go for vaginal sex. That way, hopefully both of you will get to climax, and neither is left unsatisfied.View Thread
Counseling. Please. The very fact that you think your mom's actions were justified because 'she was just trying to protect' you tells me you need it. Your mother's actions were horrifyingly callous, cruel, inhumane & damaging. They had NOTHING to do with protecting you. Your mother sexually & physically abused you for YEARS--and you're still trying to protect her, defend her, and your marriage is suffering because of it.
I'd imagine that your mother is a deeply damaged person in her own right; IMO, no one who's mentally balanced or stable could treat any child, much less their own, in such an abhorrent fashion unless something wasn't right in the head. Your father may be adding to it.
Your husband has a problem with your father because he treats you too roughly, you know he'd have a problem with your mother if he found out what she's really like, and yet instead of doing your husband the courtesy and respect of letting him know what happened to you, you're siding with your abusers, leaving him in the dark, and trying to justify your decisions because you have a 'good' relationship with your parents. It sounds like you're co-dependent. You refuse to own up to the fact that there's something broken or missing inside them, you blame yourself for the damage they've inflicted, and you're still trying to sheild them from the consequences of their actions while you deal with the emotional scars & pain and suffering they left you with.
Please, seek help. I'm more sorry than I can possibly say for everything you've been through, and I hope you can find a way through this to heal yourself & your marriage. Try to take a good, objective look at your relationship with your parents, at what they've done to you, and ask yourself if defending them is really worth the risk of never having the kind of marriage you want, if it's really worth leaving the man who loves you and supports you in the dark, continually disappointing him without letting him know why, and if you can truly bear living the rest of your life like this when you know there's an alternative. You are NOT to blame for what has been done to you, but where to go from here is your choice. I wish you the best of luck.View Thread
Here are some things to narrow down & possibly eliminate: Does she have a history of Sleep Apnea? Epilepsy? Narcolepsy? Seizures?
If the answer is yes, then both of you need to talk to her doctor immediately regarding what's happening.
If the answer is no...you still might want to speak to a doctor to address your concerns, but there are a few things I'd like you to consider first.
For starters...is she truly not breathing? Or merely doing so quietly/shallowly? I'm guessing she's pretty excited right before blacking out, and the sudden absence of noise might be contributing to the perception that she's not breathing, when she really is. An easy way to tell if this is the case is to put a small mirror near her lips and nose--if it fogs, she's breathing.
Eyes rolling back isn't necessarily a problem. Mine do it fairly regularly when I'm in the grip of an intense climax; heck, even getting a back massage from my fiance in just the right way is enough to cause my eyes to roll back in pleasure.
The temporary loss of hearing is also something I've experienced--and it's purely related to stimulation over-load. My fiance literally blows my mind & I'm so wrapped up in coming down off an orgasmic high that it takes a while for me to come back to my senses.
From what it sounds like (unless there's a medical condition in her history that would lend a hazardous edge to the proceedings), you drive your partner absolutely wild in bed, and there's nothing you need to worry about. You're simply having (for her at least) mind-blowing sex. That's just my opinion, & I'd encourage you to discuss it with a medical professional if you'd like further confirmation/reassurance.View Thread
I'm with FCL on this. Due to non-consummation, your marriage can simply be annulled. When it comes right down to it; by your husband's refusal to consummate, you've been a bride for 3 years, not a wife. He's steadfastedly refused to make your marriage complete, which means by his own actions, he's left the door open for you to dissolve your relationship without divorce; you can choose to annul it instead. Essentially, ending a union that never was.
You have my deepest sympathies regardless of the path you take, and I wish you the best of luck moving forward.View Thread