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Sexual Health Community

Reply: No sex after baby?

The incision made for C-sections is even larger than ones that may be made for vaginal...

http://erynlockhart.wordpress.com

Posted by BalconyBelle

6 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:No sex after baby? The incision made for C-sections is even larger than ones that may be made for vaginal...

Reply: Specialty condoms and stimulation (ladies)

The ribbed/dotted condoms actually can feel better for me if : it's round two...

http://erynlockhart.wordpress.com

Posted by BalconyBelle

5 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:Specialty condoms and stimulation (ladies) The ribbed/dotted condoms actually can feel better for me if : it's round two...

Reply: What's Your "Number"

Getting back to the original post...My number is one, my fiance's is seven. We came...

http://erynlockhart.wordpress.com

Posted by BalconyBelle

Getting back to the original post...My number is one, my fiance's is seven. We came from radically different social spheres--he's a former jock, and his crowd regarded sex as recreation. I was more of a social loner--I mingled with different groups--choir, theater, swim team, science, art, and the united nations clubs...but I was just as happy being by myself. I was a romantic who believed in the existence of soul-mates, true love, chemistry and passion...& I didn't want to settle for less in a lover. I wasn't in love with anyone, didn't feel passionate about anyone, and I didn't even have the desire to experiment like some of my peers. In our respective High Schools, I was the Ice Princess and he was Casanova.

My guy grew up with a clique that regarded sex as fun, somewhat mandatory, and it was more or less his favorite form of recreation. I didn't see anything wrong with his views on sex, or with those of my friends who were sexually active, it just wasn't one that I shared. If there was one thing I fairly sure of, it was that sex was better with someone you loved--and that opinion was borne out by my friends who'd explored their sexuality, then found love down the line. I wanted to wait until I felt it myself.

He fell in love with me at first sight at college; it took significantly longer for me to return the sentiment. One roadblock neither of us expected was that when we began dating, his past and mine would come back to haunt us.

Since he'd never had a serious relationship before me, in fact, he'd only ever been having casual sex, a number of assumptions were made about me by his mom and his friends that I found extremely hurtful, and that he found infuriating--especially when one (now ex) friend smirked after he explained we were dating exclusively, looked me up and down, and said, "Yeah right. Your taste in party favors has improved; now when do I get a turn?" and his mom demanded that if he was going to continue seeing me, he'd better use condoms and get us both tested because God alone knew where I'd been. Since I'd never dated before, my own family didn't respect his presence or importance in my life due to the belief I lacked the experience to judge the validity of my feelings ie: I didn't know any better, and later, that I wasn't in love, I was infatuated, and I'd snap out of it. They even took it upon themselves to mention this belief to him on multiple occasions.

By the time I fell in love, he was sure he wanted to marry me, and by the time we got around to having sex, we blew each other's minds. For me, love was worth waiting for, and I'm aware that I'm incredibly lucky to have found it fairly early in life--and the sex is amazing, too

My fiance's past experience just makes him that much more grateful that he's found me at last. He had fun during his single days, but what we have together is far better than anything that came before. We've been together for several years now, and despite some rocky times, we're still going strong.View Thread

http://erynlockhart.wordpress.com

Posted byBalconyBelle

45 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:What's Your "Number" Getting back to the original post...My number is one, my fiance's is seven. We came...

Reply: Is this normal?

My guess is it has nothing to do with your level of attraction or love--you're just...

http://erynlockhart.wordpress.com

Posted by BalconyBelle

2 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:Is this normal? My guess is it has nothing to do with your level of attraction or love--you're just...

Reply: Nausea after Sex

Here are a couple of things to consider: Have either of you recently gained a lot of...

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Posted by BalconyBelle

4 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:Nausea after Sex Here are a couple of things to consider: Have either of you recently gained a lot of...

Reply: I would like to look more like a woman! (since i a...

Hormonal imbalance might explain the unusual length of time between periods--so could...

http://erynlockhart.wordpress.com

Posted by BalconyBelle

1 Reply | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:I would like to look more like a woman! (since i am) Hormonal imbalance might explain the unusual length of time between periods--so could...

Reply: Orgasm problems...of a different sort

Well...you could look into tantric sex. I've heard it works for some people....

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Posted by BalconyBelle

1 Reply | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:Orgasm problems...of a different sort Well...you could look into tantric sex. I've heard it works for some people....

Reply: how do I overcome childhood trauma regarding sex? ...

Counseling. Please . The very fact that you think your mom's actions were justified...

http://erynlockhart.wordpress.com

Posted by BalconyBelle

Counseling. Please. The very fact that you think your mom's actions were justified because 'she was just trying to protect' you tells me you need it. Your mother's actions were horrifyingly callous, cruel, inhumane & damaging. They had NOTHING to do with protecting you. Your mother sexually & physically abused you for YEARS--and you're still trying to protect her, defend her, and your marriage is suffering because of it.

I'd imagine that your mother is a deeply damaged person in her own right; IMO, no one who's mentally balanced or stable could treat any child, much less their own, in such an abhorrent fashion unless something wasn't right in the head. Your father may be adding to it.

Your husband has a problem with your father because he treats you too roughly, you know he'd have a problem with your mother if he found out what she's really like, and yet instead of doing your husband the courtesy and respect of letting him know what happened to you, you're siding with your abusers, leaving him in the dark, and trying to justify your decisions because you have a 'good' relationship with your parents. It sounds like you're co-dependent. You refuse to own up to the fact that there's something broken or missing inside them, you blame yourself for the damage they've inflicted, and you're still trying to sheild them from the consequences of their actions while you deal with the emotional scars & pain and suffering they left you with.

Please, seek help. I'm more sorry than I can possibly say for everything you've been through, and I hope you can find a way through this to heal yourself & your marriage. Try to take a good, objective look at your relationship with your parents, at what they've done to you, and ask yourself if defending them is really worth the risk of never having the kind of marriage you want, if it's really worth leaving the man who loves you and supports you in the dark, continually disappointing him without letting him know why, and if you can truly bear living the rest of your life like this when you know there's an alternative. You are NOT to blame for what has been done to you, but where to go from here is your choice. I wish you the best of luck.View Thread

http://erynlockhart.wordpress.com

Posted byBalconyBelle

10 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:how do I overcome childhood trauma regarding sex? It's affecting my marriage Counseling. Please . The very fact that you think your mom's actions were justified...

Reply: Sexual Blackout

Here are some things to narrow down & possibly eliminate: Does she have a history...

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Posted by BalconyBelle

1 Reply | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:Sexual Blackout Here are some things to narrow down & possibly eliminate: Does she have a history...

Reply: Married 3+ years and still not consumated

I'm with FCL on this. Due to non-consummation, your marriage can simply be annulled....

http://erynlockhart.wordpress.com

Posted by BalconyBelle

48 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:Married 3+ years and still not consumated I'm with FCL on this. Due to non-consummation, your marriage can simply be annulled....

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