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One thing you might consider is moving intimacy into the shower if you have firm handholds/something to brace against. Having the water pouring over both of you should help wash any triggering evidence away before he sees it, and you might find it's a good way to ease him back into the habit.
In my case, showers are my salvation. I'd go mad without them during certain times of the month. My fiance started off not having a problem with foreplay and fooling around on my period...that changed after the first time we had sex. He was my first, and despite the fact that we'd warmed me up for over 2 months to accommodate the real thing (he's a bit on the large side), I bled and it hurt. Admittedly, I didn't feel any pain within moments after shock of impact--there's a reason I turned out to be a nympho--but when it was over, he freaked when he saw red.
To this day (6 yrs later), his reaction is unchanged. He absolutely freaks if he sees my blood on him--he's afraid he hurt me, and he just shuts down. No matter how many times we've talked about it, his visceral reaction is the same. So...bring on the showers. We can enjoy each other without seeing anything that will disturb him.View Thread

Not every woman is the same though; case in point--your wife. What felt good for her would probably be excruciating for someone else, simply because not every woman's cervical sensitivity is the same.View Thread


There are 3 possible explanations for his behavior that I can think of:
- He likes the idea of being exclusive, but when he had to actually think about giving up playing the field, he's decided he wants more time to play around. Aka: fear of commitment.
- He has no clue what he wants.
- He likes the idea of you being exclusive, while he gets to play the field. When you called him on it, he backtracked.
- Are you monogamous? Don't simply assume you are, particularly after his reaction. Always use protection.
- Do you want to hang around, waiting until he's really, truly sure he wants to go exclusive---knowing that he's going to actively be keeping his options open during that timeframe?

If things are heating up, he may excuse himself to shave below the belt as well. It's a habit he picked up before I came into his life, but I have to admit I support it. We both will make an extra effort to stay clean shaven where it counts (especially if we think there's a chance that area will recieve some extra attention). Nothing kills the moment like hairballs.
As for BO...if he stinks, I'll haul him straight from the front door to the shower. Since I go in with him, he's all for it
View Thread
When you want sex, he turns it into an arguement and blames you; when he wants sex, he give you the same amount of foreplay as a blow-up doll & expects that to be enough. He's cheated before, and you're worried he'll do it again....
Is there something good about your marriage?
Are things working out for you outside of the bedroom?
Sex aside, are you happy with your relationship?
It's actually fairly common for partners to have mismatched libidios, and it can be a difficult challenge to overcome....it's nearly impossible if the relationship isn't on firm ground.
BOTH partners need to be interested in meeting their loved one halfway, BOTH partners need to communicate effectively, and BOTH partners have to put their best efforts into helping the relationship succeed, in and out of the bedroom. You can't fix this issue on your own, he has to be willing to contribute as well.
If he isn't willing to hold up his end, counseling might help...and if that doesn't work, are there enough things going right in your marriage that you'll stay with him, for the prime of your life & beyond, even if your needs are not satisfied?View Thread


As for me, I need to get a little lighter, too. I am too heavy for him....though he'd never say it directly. He loves me, excess curves and all--but when I'm on top I can truly knock the wind out of him. He loves picking me up & tossing me in the air...and I'm not light enough to do that safely. I'm always afraid I'll hurt him in cow-girl, or he'll hurt himself trying to lift me.View Thread

If you are...it could be something as simple as your fingernails being too long. If they extend over your fingertips, you might be accidentally scraping yourself while masturbating--and depending on how cought up in the moment you are, you might not notice any pain, discomfort, or blood until later. Try trimming your nails, blunting them by filing, and see if that helps.View Thread

On the other hand, she may not like the loss of control. Climax (when you're experiencing it) is a force of nature, but to have one, you have to let go. So, if your wife is very concerned with control over her emotions and body, she may be preventing climax because she doesn't want to lose it (which is what a good orgasm tends to do).
Another possiblilty is that at some point in your past sexual history, she DID lose control...of everything. Not just muscle spasms, but her bladder as well. At risk of TMI, that happened once with me. My fiance literally rocked my world, and I was having multiples like crazy...and then I went one orgasm too far and lost it completely. I was nearly ready to die from emabarrassment. It took a while before I was comfortable enough to orgasm again---I was terrifed I'd wet myself. Now, if I think I'm getting close, I'll tap out...but immeadiately after it happened, experiencing climax was something I wanted to avoid at all costs because I didn't want to risk another accident.
The last idea I have is that it might be a trust/self image issue. You really have to be comfortable and trust a person to let go and let them see you at your most vulenerable. If your wife isn't comfortable with her looks, or isn't comfortable with your relationship, it might be another reason for her behavior.View Thread
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