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At my clinic we chiefly treat sexual addiction although we do see clients for sexual therapy and intimacy issues. Most forms of sexual addiction can be traced to intimacy disorder. This often has its roots in early childhood development with the attachment patterns that are experienced. There are many great books on this subject.
We treat partners too, who have their own issues. Although outwardly partners may not exhibit sexual addiction or sexual anorexia, they usually suffer from intimacy disorders as well, the result of their own early attachment patterns with caregivers. One of the mechanisms that partners unconsciously use to cope with their own long-standing issues is by attracting sex addicts or sexual anorexics whose outward behavior is symptomatic of their own inner intimacy disorder.
It is very challenging if not impossible to point the finger at any significant other and expect them to change. Recovery starts within, by taking responsibility for any situation which we have attracted into our lives. Resources for recovery include sex therapists, marriage therapists, 12-Step groups, Christian support groups, books and online websites. Personal recovery - even for the partner - especially for the partner - leads to building intimacy in ALL relationships. It's that simple, although it's not that easy. I wish you the best of luck for actualizing your healthy, sexual potential.View Thread

"Dwindling love" and loss of interest towards a partner often have roots in early childhood experiences. These core issues rarely go away with short-term counseling.
Since you found counseling to be helpful, I would suggest that your wife, if she's amenable, to continue with individual counseling to examine these issues, as well as consult with her doctor. Oftentimes these core issues create a recurring emotional loop from closeness to distance in relationships.
There are also 12-Step support groups for couples such as Recovering Couples Anonymous.
There are cases where someone is experiencing issues related to sexual intimacy, but only the partner is willing to get help. This is actually pretty common. It does not appear that this is the case for you, but in any case it can be helpful as a partner to seek help for our own issues related to the issue. Individual Counseling or 12-Step support groups such as Codependents Anonymous might provide some relief.View Thread

I understand your confusion and grief over the lack of sexual intimacy with your husband. This sounds like a possible form of sexual anorexia, the compulsive avoidance of giving and receiving sexual love. I recommend finding a sex therapist in your area. Here is a link to help you with your search: http>//iitap.com/find_csat.cfm
If your husband is unwilling to attend couples counseling, it would be beneficial for you to find a sex therapist for yourself as the partner of a sexual anorexic.
You might also consider 12-Steps programs, particularly Al-Anon and CoDA which focus on partner issues. There are also 12-Step support groups for partners of Sex Addicts (including anorexics) such as COSLAA and COSA. An online search for each group will give you the meeting list for your area.
Any work that you can do for yourself will provide clarity and give you tools for establishing intimacy and healthy boundaries in every relationship in which you choose to participate.
Sexual Anorexia interview: http://thecenterforhealthysex.com/wp-content/themes/thecenterforhealthysex/media/AK-sexualanorexia-reasonsandsigns.mp3View Thread

Best of luck.View Thread

Best of luck to you.View Thread

I really encourage you to make the appointment.
Best of luck to you.View Thread


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