We cuddle until we fall asleep. One of our favorite sex positions is spooning, i.e. lying on our sides with me entering her from behind. After our orgasms, I love to just leave my penis inside her and cuddle in the spoon position, holding her breast in my free hand I can usually stay erect for quite a while after sex, and we've often fallen asleep still coupled. The warmth and wetness is a big sensual plus for both of us.View Thread
You are entitled to believe what you want, but you are sadly misinformed and are listening to and contributing to the preponderance of myths surrounding anal sex. Yes, anal cancer, loss of sphincter control, and hemmorhoids all exist, and are caused by a variety of factors, none of which have been medically proven to include anal sex.
I don't want to post the same reply in two threads, but please read my reply in the thread entitled "Long Term Effects of Anal Sex". It contains both expert commentary from WebMD as well as a first-hand account of my wife's most recent visit to her doctor and the medical opinion her doctor gave us regarding anal sex.
My guess is that you don't engage in anal sex, that's totally fine, but if you wish to give advice like this, you are the one who should be doing the research.
To the OP, your problem is almost assuredly insufficient relaxation and preparation. You need to take things very slowly at first, with the main concentration on relaxation. It also helps a great deal if the female is highly aroused first, a good idea to have an orgasm before starting the anal sex process. I say "process" because during the learning curve, it can often take 15-20 minutes for you to be sufficiently relaxed and "loose" enough to accept a penis. And use plenty of lube - a thicker lube made for anal sex - our favoirte is water-based "Gun Oil" gel. Use lots - put on what you think you'll need, then put some more on.
Angle of entry has alot to do with it also. It takes some slow, gentle experimentation and willingness by both partners to stop and try again another day if it's painful. But trust me, you'll get it, and it won't hurt either. If it hurts at all, you are doing something wrong. Invest in some anal toys of various sizes, ranging from just larger than a couple of fingers to at least the thickness of your guy's penis. Then you lube them and insert them yourself - that way you can go as slow as you need to and can get the angle right. Leave each one in for 5-10 minutes before going to the next larger size.
We purchased a set of 3 "butt plugs" small, medium, and large. After several sessions, my wife can now relax her anus sufficently to not have to use the small or middle size one any longer. Another tip that really works is as your guy is entering you, push out, like you're going to have a bowel movement - he will pop right in easily.
You're on the right track, just understand that learning anal sex is a partnership effort and doesn't necessarily happen overnight - it took us several times to get everything just right, but now we enjoy anal sex 2-3 times a week with zero pain whatsoever, only pleasure. Enjoy!!View Thread
My wife just had her annual physical and I went with her. Specifically to discuss the fact that we started having anal sex since her last visit, and I wanted to make sure everything was OK.
After having anal sex 2-3 times a week for the last 9 months or so, including very vigorous and deep thrusting on my part, I can report that her doctor says her rectum and lower colon are in perfect health. Her doctor also said that anal sex is fine as long as plenty of lubrication is used. She also said that there are no studies that show any higher percentage of anal prolapse, loss of bowel control, etc., in people who receive anal sex than in people who don't. Those maladies are a product of age and/or disease unrelated to anal intercourse.
She also cautioned us to be sure not to go from her rectum directly back into her vagina without cleaning my penis thoroughly with antiseptic wipes, something we already do as a matter of common sense.
I have noticed that it is almost invariably those who do not participate in anal sex that have the most to say against it. And to those who claim that the rectum "was not made for sex, therefore it shouldn't be used for same" I wonder why the rectum is so rich with nerve endings that register pleasure...is it to make bowel movements enjoyable? And by the way - the mouth was not "made for sex" either, but I'd bet a nickel a good deal of the people using that argument participate in and enjoy their oral sex quite regularly....
This post is a year old, but to the OP, it can be difficult to sort the facts from the myths, of which there seems to be a preponderance. If you enjoy anal sex, have at it - it won't hurt you. If it does, you're doing something wrong.View Thread
I think you're trying to over-analyze this just a bit. First of all, Paxil, and all the other SSRI anti-depressants, very often cause DE, or delayed ejaculation, meaning you can be fully aroused and engage in sexual activity, but not be able to orgasm or ejaculate. This drug could have been the reason you could not achieve full erection, But Paxil certainly does not cause semen to "leak"..
If you're having sexual sessions where you're unfulfilled, e.g. not continuing to climax, your prostate can fill with semen , sometimes to the point of being uncomfortable. When this occurs, urinating, especially, if you "push" to force the last bit out of your bladder, can cause semen to enter the base of your penis and be expelled. Another event that occurs regularly is semen being expelled during a bowel movement. The stools passing the prostate gland apply pressure to it, and if you're particualrly "full" an amount from just a drip to a single "squirt" can happen. Nothing to worry about at all.
It's likely that the day this happened to you you either pushed extra hard to expel urine or needed to have a bowel movement and pressure was being applied to your prostate.
I'm on an SSRI similar to Paxil, and have a terrible time reaching orgasm and ejaculation because of it. Yet nearly every bowel movement is accompanied by a fair amount of white semen being expelled. I wouldn't worry too much, but I would recommend you seriously evaluate your need for anti-depressants, as those can be murder on your libido and ability to orgasm.View Thread
You're welcome. Again I'll say that anal sex is not for every couple, it takes commitment on both sides to be able to go through what can be a steep learning curve. It also takes some no-nonsense thinking to get by the dozens of ridiculous myths that have flown around forever regarding the act. I especially like the one "well, an anus was not MADE for sex, therefore, it should not be used that way. Rubbish. The mouth wasn't MADE for sex either, but millions of us love oral sex. No need to go into the really ridiculous ones like "I'll totally lose control of my bowels if I do that" and the like. Soap and water before the act, there is no fecal smell, and no the male's penis does not come out covered in poo. Oh I suppose if the female needs to have a bowel movement that could happen, but applying a little common sense virtually eliminates that possibility. After 8-9 months of anal sex, I have yet to see or detect any trace of fecal matter before, during, or after anal sex.
Bottom liine, anal sex is very much an intimate and excitiing form of pleasure between two consenting adults, the anus is full of nerve endings able to sense pleasure and especially for women with sensitive G-spots, can be a totally new avenue to intense orgasms. But like anything that a minority of a population enjoys, the status quo will try to make it taboo or "dirty" or "perverted". One thing for sure, the minority is growing. More couples are enjoying anal sex than ever before, and talking about it. Someday those who enagage in anal sex won't be in the minority anymore.
And the best thing for us was, my wife discovering she loved anal sex has put a real dent in the boredom and sameness that comes with 30 years of loving and having sex with the same partner. We're excited about sex again, and have it more often that ever, and that can be nothing but a good thing.View Thread
I would like to have sex with my wife 4-5 times a week. She would like the same thing, but work (we both work 6 days a week) has us both so tired at the end of the day that usually sex is a Sunday early afternoon pleasure, once a week. Our desires are very closely matched, but in fluences from outside our marriage keep our liaisons fewer and further between than we both wish for.View Thread
Both who replied to you are right - I believe communication (or lack of it) to be the culprit in a vast majority of sexual dissatisfaction cases. They key is to talk openly and definitely in a non-accusatory manner. Many many men, married and single, enjoy porn, and it is not automatically as bad for a relationship as many calim it is.
Number one, you say he's stressed - that's a huge libido killer to start with. Second, Prozac and all the other SSRI's are murder on both the libido and have a horrible side effect of renderiing the user unable to achieve orgasm. You can get a great erection, be aroused physically and mentally, but can only get 85% there and no further. Then you walk around the rest of the day with blue balls and not just wanting, but NEEDING to cum, and unable to do so. Trying anything to get off, including lots of porn and masturbation.
I spent a horrible 4-year period on Paxil. My wife is gorgeous to me and has always turned me on to the max. We'd have sex every night, trying to get a release for me, to no avail. I masturbated until my penis was so sore I just couldn't do it anymore. My wife gave me oral sex until her jaw ached, hand jobs until her arms ached, all to no avail. I believe I had about 6 orgasms in that 4 year period, usually after spending hours with internet porn and every male sex toy available.
18 months ago I finally got off the Paxil, which is by no means easy - there's a serious withdrawal period of months involved. Now our sex life is back to normal and I can have my orgasm most of the time, but there's still those times when it can take 2-3 hours of intense masturbation. It takes extreme eroticism to trip my orgasmic resoponse these days after being on Paxil. Fortunately we just started having anal sex, and the erotic nature of that has helped tremendously.
Anyway, what I'm trying to tell you is that I'd bet my last dollar (1) it's not you, or anything your are/are not doing, (2) When he says he "can't make his parts work" he's telling you the sad truth. (3) If he's like I was, not only is he embarrassed that he can't finish the job, he is concerned about subjecting you to hour or two long sessions of sex, making you sore, bored, or whatever, (4) the type of porn he's looking at is extreme, and in my experience while on Paxil, it took viewing extremely "different" and highly erotic acts trying to find that "trigger" that will let him orgasm and get some relief.
By all means talk to him - in as non-judgmental way as you can, and let him know that you;re there to support him if he's going through the same horrible side effects that literally all the SSRI's produce. It's worse with some people than with others. If there's any way he can taper off the Prozac, that would be a huge help, but after about 18 months off the Paxil, my depression got so bad I had to go back on the anti-depressants, and for the last month or so I'm right back where I was - all the sex I want, great erections, loads of desire, and able to only get 95% "there". And walking around with an overfull prostate and my balls aching like I've been kicked there. My wife, thank God, is super supportive. She even suggested I go down to the local fully nude strip club for some mental stimulation, something to mentally call up during sex or masturbation. I haven't done so yet, but I am getting desperate enough to give it a try.View Thread
This is a old post, but the replies bring up a disturbing trend. People judging others for the games they like to play in their own bedroom. And the "infinite wisdom" being passed around, all unasked for - this fetish WILL lead to that, which WILL lead to this other, etc. etc.
Thew OP hit the nail on the head - if you're here to offer advice as to how to most safely carry out their fetish (and it IS their fetish, as she is willing and consensual) he was all about hearing what you have to say. But if, as many of you chose to do, you were here to judge him or give approval to their fetish, he had no need for you and offered no apology for his fetish. Well said..
While it's not my thing,it's definitely theirs and who are any of us to say it's right, wrong, or indifferent? Amazes me how if someone gets their kicks differently than others, the sky is falling . He's not forcing her to do anything against her will, she's an active participant (or inactive I guess if she's truly sleeping), but that doesn't make this guy an axe murderer, rapist, pervert, sicko, or any of the other handles some of you want to hang on him.
Most of us, at least those who see sex as a fun and exciting past time and not just form procreation with the lights off, have littlekinks and favorite games that add spice and eroticism to sex. And those kinks are nobody's business but our own, as long as they're consensual and desired by oth partners. Hey, you can slip and break your neck swinging from the chandelier, too...let them have their fun....View Thread
She was 29 when I met her (in a bar lol), slim and trim with beautifully styled long flowing blonde hair, and the prettiest face and brightest blue eyes I had ever seen on a woman. She really stood out as she was seated with a friend of hers who was obese and pretty laxed in the way she took care of herself. Her clothes were neat and clean and stylish - I was way out of my league but I sent a drink over to both of them anyway.
It was a few weeks before I earned the privelage of seeing her naked, and that really added to my feeling I was the luckiest man alive. The firm C-cups with nipples pointing to the sky, flat tummy, a gorgeous tight but round butt with cheeks that smiled at me, and legs that went on forever. And the thick blonde bush almost 4" long (it was the 80"s now) was the icing on the cake. Those attributes were important becuase they leet me know I had really hot the jackpot, no "settling" for physical traits I didn't find attractive because she was so attractive inside was necessary, so I did the logical thing and asked her to marry me as fast as I could. And was blown away when she said yes, becuase as I said, I was way out of my league.
She has kept herself gorgeous for 30 years now, watches her weight, the firm C's are now still-firm double D's and they still point to the sky, the beautiful blonde pubes have been gone for years gone, but hey, that's progress.
I love that she takes such good care of herself and is a knockout clothed or naked, but the truth is I love her heart and soul so much none of the physical attributes really matter. We're on the downhill side of life now, but we got here together and both loved who we made the journey with.View Thread
Wow I hadn't checked this thread for a while and I am shocked, dismayed, and horrified at how this sad excuse for a human being is treating this woman. The original post read to me like just some communication problems, i.e. he wasn't listening or was just lazy. The OP's additional posts clarify this as an emergency.
I do so hope she has found a shelter and a safe place away from this guy, and that the authorities are taking her seriously. She should easily be able to get the injunction, I just hope the cops in her area are serious about enforcing it.
I have never been able to begin to understand how a man can willingly hurt a woman, be it physically or emotionally, and those that do are the lowest life form on this planet. A male like that cannot begin to call himself a "man".
Anie, forget about him, this is all about you and your safety now - get out, as far as you can from him, and never look back - please......View Thread