I think you already know the answer to this? From what you say, he is not the right one for you! You need someone who is more outgoing, more open. With his P.T.S.D. you are NEVER going to get this from him, and you know this.
Explain that to him, and be as gentle as possible, I think he will understand? Its not the E.D., its the togetherness time you need, and cannot get from a recluse. Let him down easy.
In other words, you need to think about you!!! If he is like this now, how will he be ten years from now? Yep, time to think about you!!!
It sounds to me as if you have been very understanding, and caring for his P.T.S.D., and E.D.??? Sometimes, we just can't fix the one we love, and have to move on for our own sanity, you know? And no, you won't look like a liar or anything else, just a woman who needs more affection than he will ever be able to give. Most people will understand that. I have no clue as to how he got this P.T.S.D.? But, if its as bad as you say, he himself will probably not mind so much if you feel like you have to leave? And that, has nothing to do with his E.D., right? Right!!!
Its now time to think of you. You have done more than was expected, I think anyway? And now, its time to move on. Six months is a very long time for trying. You did, now think about you. Just be sure to be honest with him, about how you feel.
Doesn't matter how right it has been for you, YOU are still a CHEATER!!! Lover/friend my ass!!! He is the second half of CHEATER!!! My marriage is better because of this? That has to be the biggest pile of horse s--t I've ever heard??? A fulfilling and nurturing relationship??? HOW? CHEATING may be fulfilling one desire for you, but fulfilling? NEVER!!! YOUR MARRIAGE is what SHOULD BE fulfilling!!!
Why are you too scared to go to the hubby, and ask him for a divorce, prior to CHEATING on him??? YOU DON'T DESERVE TO BE MARRIED!!!
Sorry, can't stand a scared little cheater!!!View Thread
You are not lost! You may be a coward? I don't know you. But, it sounds like you already made your decision? What is driving you crazy? Is it the fact that, you cannot change the man you married? The fact that, you want more out of life than your hubby? Just do the things you like, that make you happy. Let the hubby stay home like a bump on a log.
But, and no one likes a "but", if you decide to have an extramarital affair, be up front and honest, and tell the hubby first. He has the right to know, and not be kept in the dark, and wake up one morning with an std. My wife almost did that to me, but I found out she was cheating first, and went there and confronted them. She did this while I was trying to better my carreer in the military, and she went out with the wives and met this guy who swept her off her feet. She thought he would be a better husband, then she found out he had V.D., and now, she did too! She came crawling back with tail tucked between the legs, if you know what I mean??? I forgave her, but, and there is that "but" again, I could never forget!!! It was the beginning of the end for us. So, let the hubby know first, ok?
I can fully sypathise with you!! But, do you really want to leave? You better be certain, or it may be too late to get back in? I don't even know what to say? It sounds like you have already made up your mind? You sound intent upon leaving. If so, then leave!
I replied to your response on another topic, but will try to do so now.
This man may have played you? As an older man myself, I can see him doing just that! You are a younger, beautiful woman to him, and a nice catch to show his friends. If he has any? Or, maybe it was his way of staying young, if only for a moment? I have a mild form of P.T.S.D., but I don't let that bother me. I'm 54, so not much younger than him, eh? I would deffinately want a younger woman, and an 18 year gap is great!!! Oh, if only!!!
Like Gail said, has he been in treatment for his P.T.S.D.??? I would hope so? And has he seen a doctor for his E.D.? If he wants to continue with you, have him see his doctor, tell him that, this is a condition of my staying with you. If you don't go see your doctor, I leave!
I don't see how you have stayed so long? From what you said, its like he doesn't even acknowledge you??? You need to think about YOU!!!
Dude, you need to be more aggressive!!! Next time she walks thru that door, take her in your arms, and tell her that, you are going to f--k her brains out!!! Then march her butt to the bedroom, rip her clothes off, and do what you know you should be doing, and make her come!!!
If at any point in this she stops you, then ask her how she likes it? Tell her that, if I don't know what pleasures you, how can I make you happy? You have to tell me what you like!!! Tell her that, we men are NOT mind readers, and we need your cooperation! This is supposed to be a together thing! We are both supposed to have sex at the same time, not just me pleasuring you! So, get with it babe, lets go!!!
With any luck, she will cooperate with you, and you both can enjoy sex, again!!!
I hate to say this but, if he does not want to fulfill his obligation to you, maybe you should cut your losses, and leave him? This 18 year difference must be more difficult than you imagine? Pity, he has a young woman hanging on his arm, and he doesn't even want to please her? Wow!!! I can't believe he was all over you, at one time, and now can't be bothered with? Something very wrong here? Methinks you have been played?
There are soooooooo many older men out there that, want a young woman hanging on their arm, ME INCLUDED, and then lose the desire all at once? No way!!! I would be all over you till the wheels fell off!!! At 54, an 18 year difference would be awesome!!! Man oh man, what a fool your man is. Sorry!!!
Have you tried all the sexy clothes, and dressing up as different people? Have you, or can you concider seeing a counselor???
This is killing me, just thinking about a thirty something, so I will sign off. I wish you all the luck, you are gonna need it!!!
I was just reading thru some of these posts, and I had to comment, yet again.
First 4thebirds, I myself have started a workout regimine, I need to lose this gut. After three weeks of this, I can definitely see the results, and so can some of my neighbors, LOL!!! They have all started to take an interest in me, even the married ladies, LOL again!!! I will never do anything with a (TAKEN) lady!!! However, I will do whatever I can with the single one's, for sure. One in particular I want to meet. I'm going to try and get her attention this weekend, and??? Hopefully a date!!!
So, when the suggestion came up for you to lose weight, I had to tell you this story! I've put in some real effort, tho, so don't expect the same results, please, I don't want to be the one to get your hopes up, you know? I've been doing this split routine, working out both day, and night. Its worked wonders on me, and can for you also!!! Just remember this, your abs are your core muscels, and I work on them both times. It shows, also.
I just hope this inspires you to lose a little weight for your health, and even your sexiness!!! I'm 54, so, I am not too far behind you in age. If I can do it, so can you!!! I wish I knew how to post a pic, I would show you how much I lost in three weeks? Oh well, I do hope you will try, if not for him, then for you, and your health!
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