I have heard of this, but it was so long ago now, I do not remember what it was called? I suggest you see your primary care Dr., and ask her/him? And don't be shy, they have heard it all by now! Other than that, maybe you could try the lady's on Web.M.D.'s "Relationships and Coping" community??? You could even ask Dr. Becker-Phelps if she knows someone to talk to? She is on the site I mentioned, and is the best PhD. that I know of?
Give the other site a try, you may find the answer you seek? I wish you SEX-sess, lots of sex-sess!!!
I feel for ya, buddy!!! Unfortunately, its the same old song. It can be from either of the species, male, or female? And yes, it can be like your own troubles, or even worse in some cases? As we age, (or so I'm told) we gradually lose our sex drives? REALLY??? Why??? Why should we lose something that is so natural to us, and a serious part of our sharing of lives together? We shouldn't! Most articles I have ever read myself, or have been told of, all say we should be able to have sex for as long as we are physically able. If that is true, then why are others like you having the same problems in their marriage, or life together? If we are to believe the article writers, then communication is the key to success? Well, that, and being physically able, of course? We need to communicate effectively with our significant other! Okay, just how do we go about that, then? Well, donedge, your guess is as good as mine! I will tell you, however, that you can ask one of the finest Psychologists on this planet! All you have to do is; go to the "Relationships and Coping" community, right here in Web.M.D.!!! Her name is Dr. Leslie Becker-Phelps, and there has never been a finer Doctor on this planet!!! Don't be shy, she has heard it all, trust me!
Well Don, I hope you find something in all of my ramblings that you can use!!! Good luck too ya!!!
Like Nowhard has said, your weight lifting is also lifting your testosterone, and libido, too. While most men, myself included, masturbate to relieve the stress/pressure, there are some who take more drastic means? I believe you alluded to "any drugs"? That is the last thing you might want to consider seeing as how you are weight lifting? Unfortunately, sometimes, testosterone just gets produced whether we want it or not? Like FCL said, you could get your pump system cut? That, is NOT even something I would have even thought about, myself, anyway?
Unfortunately dude, there really isn't much you can do to stop it completely? The masturbation thing is about all you can do? However, there isn't any reason to have feelings of depression, or guilt afterwards. This is a natural, and sometimes even needed relief mechanism.
I swore off sex for sex's sake over twenty years ago, recently though, I have blown that off just to have sex. But once again I was left feeling empty and unloved like you said yourself. I no longer have trust issues thanks to our very own Dr. Leslie Becker-Phelps PhD. She has been a GREAT moderator here, on Web. M.D.'s Relationships and coping community!!! Perhaps you would like to go there, and ask her if there is some type of exercise you could try for your own sake? She is a magnificent Psychologist!!!!!
Again, I have no idea as to how to stop a natural function of the human male body? Exercise does not help, of course. It only enhances the effects of testosterone! I sure wish I could help you, I hope you will give Dr. Becker-Phelps a try?
I don't think the O.P. ever did come back? But to comment on your comment, I don't love porn, but I would watch it with you if we were making love! Sure, why not? What could it possibly hurt? Most, if not all, fantasize about another person when making love. It is proven fact! Me, every since I saw Jessica Alba in that hot leather pants outfit on her first show Dark Angel, I have fantasized about her with every lover but one?! The "ONE" was a younger lady by ten years, but we both loved each other more than I have ever loved another! That love we had, erased every porn image I had stored in my mind. Porn love is not love at all, it is just make believe for the audience, that is all.
I will take the real over the fantasy any day!!! When you truly love someone, they are your everything! Your whole world! And when you make love, that is exactly what you are doing, making love! You can't take your eyes off of them! You won't even be thinking of porn any longer. True love is better than porn, any day!!! But, when you need that extra edge, go for it, porn can help in other circumstances, also. For instance, when you might have E.D.? It helped me for some time, but as the nerve damage progressed, even porn was no match for full blown E.D.!
I wish you many many years of happy porn viewing!!! Oh, and sex too, of course!!! LOL!!!
Congrats on the new sex drive! Nowhard is right, you can also enjoy a B.O.B., or battery operated boyfriend? Or, even some dildo's if you prefer? There are many different things you could try! Just do your boyfriend/hubby right! By that I mean; don't cheat!
Once again, I am happy for you! I hope this means loads of sex till you just can't do it any longer, age wise!!!
Sorry, but you are not alone! I have heard this from my own friends? When that dreaded E.D. catches up to ya, you just want to cum at all? And most men, have always preferred oral over intercourse? Like the other poster said, it is waaaay more intense. Me, I love the foreplay, and yes, cumming together with your wife, or girlfriend is to me, waaaay more intense? It makes me feel more connected to her? I'm sorry your hubby don't feel the same way!
I'm going to say something that may make others mad, but YOU are in charge of your orgasm, and as such, you need to make your hubby do as you want! If he wants sex of any kind, he should have to please you first?!
True, marriage works best when its shared 50/50!!! Your hubby is selfish, and needs to get his priorities straight! Even if "HE" doesn't like sexual intercourse with YOU, his wife, then he needs to get nothing in return, don't you agree? You have shared his life with your own, you have both given 50/50, and this should not change! He needs to see your side of this problem, and deal with it!!!
I hope something in all of this rambling connects, and helps you out? I wish you the best of luck!!!
I was re-reading some of the responses when your screen name caught my attention. Are you a forensics freak? I think I have watched every episode of Forensic Files, and any other that deals with that subject? I just can't seem to get enough? I find it so interesting!!!
Wow, sorry to hear your first attempt at sex was with a clod?! He should have taken care when he put the condom on. Most do not come pre-lubed.
As for the discomfort, go see your Gyn. and let them give you some soothing ointment. It couldn't hurt to be tested for an s.t.d., but if the condom came off whole, with no leaks obvious, you will be okay?!
Next time, make the man do his job, he should be more into foreplay than that clod was? Be sure you are wet first, before penetration. Sex will be awesome then, I promise you!!!
First thing to do is to not assume it is "not" a medical issue! He, like many men, might be suffering from some kind of erection difficulty? E.D. strikes many many men in their prime, or mid life, if you will? It could be psychological, too? That stress you mentioned? May not be as easily dealt with now for some reason?
First thing you need to do is talk to your hubby, but NOT in the bedroom! He needs to be able to relax, and have that conversation with you. Both of you must be open, and honest with each other.
Then, if the talk fails to turn up the culprit, make him see his primary care physician. He must be open and honest with his Dr. also. If he isn't honest with his doctor, then it is a moot point? If, at his doctors office, the doc. thinks it might be necessary for him to see an Urologist, make him go?! It may be he needs a little blue pill one hour prior to sexual activity? I take Levitra, and I feel as randy as a goat!!! There is no shame in needing a little help, it is NOT his fault, right? Right!
Tell him you would do the same thing if you needed the help. Try to put him at ease about this whole thing, but demand that he see his doctor! And, that he follow through with any treatment the doctor orders!
It may be no more than he needs more exercise? Who knows, right?
I'm sorry to hear of your divorce! I wish you could have gotten past your wife's past?! The past is, after all, just the past! It holds no bearing on the here and now, not unless you let it, that is?
If you didn't like to hear of her ex boyfriends style of sexual exploits, you should have told her so? Instead, you let it eat at you for years, why? Why didn't you ask your wife, you know, the lady that had forsaken all others to be YOUR wife? Why didn't you ask her to explain all of her past sexual exploits so you could dissect each one for the rest of your life? You have already, anyway? You couldn't handle leaving the past in the past, so it ate at you till YOU divorced the woman that loved you, and married YOU? Is that about right?
I'm not trying to rag on you, but these are the things you should have asked her about, and probably a marriage counselor, first? This woman loved you enough to marry you, and her past killed your love for her! Insecurity can be a heavy load to carry alone, why not ask for help? Your wife, oops, I mean your ex wife could have helped, if she knew how insecure you was? You both should have asked a marriage counselor for help, don't you think???