Most of us have an idealized view of what a relationship should be. If someone loves you they should make every effort to please you, within reason. In his case, engaging in more of a variety of sexual activity and for her to try things that might bring her to orgasm. Engaging in sexual activity where your partner gets nothing out of it is depressing and frustrating. personally, I'd rather masturbate than be accommodated.
I have dealt with the unmet idealized expectations for a long time. I understand my situation and I'm a very optimistic person and hope that someday things will change.
Having resentment about unmet expectations and keeping them inside isn't healthy and the only constructive way to express them is the anonymity of a discussion board.View Thread
My condolences. I had one outstanding year when I was dating two women. Five good years and then twenty years of sporadic sex. My wife is a very sexual person who can orgasm almost non stop for more than an hour. Due to PTSD she is only going to engage in sex when she is in the mood and can only be the one that initiates. I haven't given up. I recently retired and am hoping that things will start up again. She talks about it frequently. When we were dating she was open to a lot more things and even initiated some things that I didn't even ask for. The other woman I was dating had a very strong interest and knowledge of sexual activity. It was about as close to as a fantasy as you could get.
I will be interested in sex until I kick off.View Thread
He says that he has never given a woman an orgasm. My philosophy is generally that the more pleasurable sex is for your partner the more likely it will be offered. I would never get into a relationship with a woman who didn't enjoy sex. It shouldn't be a chore or an obligation. Any sexual favors offered should be done willingly not as an obligation and not when it makes you uncomfortable. Bad sexual relationships are caused to a great degree from lack of communication.View Thread
I'll be 70 in April and my mind is actively engaged and my penis not so much. Regarding a blow job. I'm assuming your wife is unwilling or you are unwilling to ask. You could always pay to get one. I had a girlfriend who enjoyed giving and receiving oral sex. I don't miss it.
Regarding giving a woman orgasm it depends on what you are willing to do and what your partner is willing to accept. If you limited to only a penis and a particular position it can be very difficult. If you are allowed to use your fingers, mouth, toys etc. it's a lot easier task. I've been married for 35 years and before I was married I was dating two women including my wife to be. The other woman really was interested in sex and had difficulty orgasming. She was willing to communicate her needs and what allowed her to orgasm. Eventually she was able to orgasm from intercourse as long as there was pubis to pubis contact. My wife to be had been sexually active for over 10 years and never orgasmed. The first night we made love I performed oral sex on her and she had her first orgasm which opened the flood gates for orgasms from intercourse and manual stimulation. Today she is only interested in sexual activity that involves my penis. I'm hoping that she changes her mind. For a long time giving orgasms has been more important to me than having them.View Thread
I've dealt with this issue. This is something you need to work on together. The goal is for him to stay erect for a long time before orgasming. I'm not stating the obvious. Once he is aroused stop all physical or mental stimulation until the urge to orgasm goes away. When it does, stimulate his penis with your hand and when the urge to orgasm seems near stop and wait until it goes away. Keep repeating the process until he can receive stimulation for a longer period of time and maintain some control. Move on to intercourse and have him withdraw if he feels even close to orgasming. Eventually he will learn to manage his ejaculatory response and should be able engage in intercourse for as long as he wants or you want.
I have orgasmed without any direct physical stimulation. Kissing, hugging and an aroused partner provide a lot of mental stimulation.
To make this process more enjoyable to you, teach him how to give you orgasms manually or orally before you and he work on his control.
If he doesn't masturbate frequently and hasn't an orgasm recently, it would be quite normal for a quick orgasm. Give him before you even start the process. It will help a little.
My situation turned around after having very frequent intercourse. I made sure that I had satisfied my partner before myself. Intercourse can also be done by grinding instead of thrusting and when my arousal got too high I would engage in the less stimulating method until I felt back in control. The grinding can produce an orgasm for women who normally can't orgasm from intercourse.View Thread
First of all, when I traveled I masturbated. It can remove any sexual tension and also is a great sleep aid.
From about age 62, I had erection issues and not having a strong erection doesn't make you feel good. Taking an ed med to improve you erection so that you can have an erection and masturbate is good for your self esteem.
Masturbation should not detract from lovemaking.View Thread
I don't know much about labels other than the most common ones. Things were a lot different now than when I was dating. The key word in your post is relationship. I assumed and a lot of people now assume that there is some kind of commitment beyond sex or a misrepresentation of intentions. Relationships are complicated and require effort. I passed on potential sex because to me it implied a relationship that I wasn't ready for.
I discovered that these were missed opportunities because there are good women who are interested in good sex without a relationship.View Thread
This isn't only about women. It is mainly a criticism of men. For many younger men, the primary objective in a relationship with someone they meet is getting laid. They will be sweet,caring and affectionate until this objective is met. If it isn't being met they will lose interest in a relationship. There are also a lot of men who share similar objectives as women; affection and a long term relationship, marriage kids etc.
The advice is to really get to know someone before getting sexually involved unless all you want is sex and then find someone who knows what they are doing.View Thread
Not to offend other posters here, but sex is an exchange medium between men and women. Men want it and many women exchange if for something else; security, affection etc. To establish good and long lasting relationships with men it is best to have a healthy attitude toward sex. It is something healthy and pleasurable for men and women.
I recommend you do a lot of reading about sex (not porn) and develop an attitude where you don't think of it as being bad. You should also educate yourself about your body through reading and self exploring to learn what pleasures you. The best sex is when both partners communicate their physical needs. Lack of communication can cause sexual frustration.
Sex defines and complicates any relationship, so being ready and finding the right lover is very important.View Thread