I've dealt with this issue. This is something you need to work on together. The goal is for him to stay erect for a long time before orgasming. I'm not stating the obvious. Once he is aroused stop all physical or mental stimulation until the urge to orgasm goes away. When it does, stimulate his penis with your hand and when the urge to orgasm seems near stop and wait until it goes away. Keep repeating the process until he can receive stimulation for a longer period of time and maintain some control. Move on to intercourse and have him withdraw if he feels even close to orgasming. Eventually he will learn to manage his ejaculatory response and should be able engage in intercourse for as long as he wants or you want.
I have orgasmed without any direct physical stimulation. Kissing, hugging and an aroused partner provide a lot of mental stimulation.
To make this process more enjoyable to you, teach him how to give you orgasms manually or orally before you and he work on his control.
If he doesn't masturbate frequently and hasn't an orgasm recently, it would be quite normal for a quick orgasm. Give him before you even start the process. It will help a little.
My situation turned around after having very frequent intercourse. I made sure that I had satisfied my partner before myself. Intercourse can also be done by grinding instead of thrusting and when my arousal got too high I would engage in the less stimulating method until I felt back in control. The grinding can produce an orgasm for women who normally can't orgasm from intercourse.View Thread
First of all, when I traveled I masturbated. It can remove any sexual tension and also is a great sleep aid.
From about age 62, I had erection issues and not having a strong erection doesn't make you feel good. Taking an ed med to improve you erection so that you can have an erection and masturbate is good for your self esteem.
Masturbation should not detract from lovemaking.View Thread
I don't know much about labels other than the most common ones. Things were a lot different now than when I was dating. The key word in your post is relationship. I assumed and a lot of people now assume that there is some kind of commitment beyond sex or a misrepresentation of intentions. Relationships are complicated and require effort. I passed on potential sex because to me it implied a relationship that I wasn't ready for.
I discovered that these were missed opportunities because there are good women who are interested in good sex without a relationship.View Thread
This isn't only about women. It is mainly a criticism of men. For many younger men, the primary objective in a relationship with someone they meet is getting laid. They will be sweet,caring and affectionate until this objective is met. If it isn't being met they will lose interest in a relationship. There are also a lot of men who share similar objectives as women; affection and a long term relationship, marriage kids etc.
The advice is to really get to know someone before getting sexually involved unless all you want is sex and then find someone who knows what they are doing.View Thread
Not to offend other posters here, but sex is an exchange medium between men and women. Men want it and many women exchange if for something else; security, affection etc. To establish good and long lasting relationships with men it is best to have a healthy attitude toward sex. It is something healthy and pleasurable for men and women.
I recommend you do a lot of reading about sex (not porn) and develop an attitude where you don't think of it as being bad. You should also educate yourself about your body through reading and self exploring to learn what pleasures you. The best sex is when both partners communicate their physical needs. Lack of communication can cause sexual frustration.
Sex defines and complicates any relationship, so being ready and finding the right lover is very important.View Thread
Extensive masturbation might cause difficulty orgasming for some men. I've masturbated a lot for a long time and never any difficulty orgasming until I was in my sixties. How you masturbate will have a bigger impact than how much you masturbate. Personally, I enjoy intercourse even if it doesn't lead to an orgasm. I also get more enjoyment pleasing my partner than having an orgasm. Passion is contagious and if your partner is really enjoying it, your arousal will increase. Someone just laying there trying to only please you can be a turnoff.View Thread
I met my wife to be in 1977. She was 31, been sexually active for almost 15 years and never had an orgasm. The first time we made love she had many. She would continue to orgasm after any external stimulation was removed. I would irritate her by touching the small of her back and setting of waves of orgasms. Due to PTSD from early sexual abuse and UTI are lovemaking has been sporadic over the years. There were times when I walked in the door from work and would be greeted with "I'm orgasming, what are you going to do about it." There were times after an hour or more of lovemaking and countless orgasms she would say that she felt like a freak. My response was that he was just lucky.View Thread
There may be some number of people who find themselves unable to respond unless there is specific physical and mental stimulation. I believe they are the exception not the rule.
At some point your body needs some kind of mental or physical stimulation to be aroused. A young man generally needs none.
It is also my belief that unless you train your body to respond sexually, your ability to respond will become diminished.
My order of preference is interaction with another person (not necessarily physical interaction as you mentioned), fantasies and lastly porn. To keep your body conditioned to respond, you should do whatever works for you.View Thread