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Making love is a good way to deal with being down. My wife worries about everything and has said that while making love all her cares go a way for the moment.View Thread

Different isn't bad but it may fall outside of what is normal.
Many people strive for normal. From what you posted, you and your wife are at equilibrium and so things work.
Nicole's relationship is not and she is looking for answers.
My wife and I have been married for 33 years. The relationship started out sexual and my wife and I are both sexual people.
Due too my wife's PTSD, sex went from sporadic to non existent. We have a close loving relationship, but one that is sexually frustrating to me. It's not something to discuss or negotiate, it is what it is.View Thread


I consume very little alcohol for the same reason you don't want to engage in sex. I've never taken recreational drugs and only take prescription pain killers when absolutely necessary.
Sex is pleasure; giving and receiving. Pleasure can be eating chocolate, the sun warming your body, cuddling, holding hands, spooning.
Sex is sometimes building up tension and a release and the euphoria that follows. I have got to a state lovemaking when there isn't tension just a warm and fuzzy feeling like a hug but more intense and a climax isn't even necessary. I've fallen asleep making love without a climax.
I would have questions about your childhood and how you were raised. Most males masturbate as soon as they are able and become acclimated to their climax. You probably skipped that.
If you can't stand having a climax your probably don't masturbate. I've heard of people who find intercourse disgusting, but are fine with masturbation.
Other than sex how to you feel about your wife's body? Do you like looking at it? Have you ever given her a whole body massage? Would you find that disgusting?View Thread


I've been married for 32 years and consider myself a loving, rational person. My wife has PTSD and has been in and out of therapy for over 20 years. For the last so many years she quit therapy and was saying that I'm the one that needs a therapist
and I was senile. After a period of nasty arguments, I found a therapist that specialized in dementia screening and relationship counseling. After some sessions, my therapist said that I had no dementia issues and we worked on communication skills to defuse arguments. My wife wanted me to stop seeing my therapist (maybe she felt insecure). I got some good tools and was able to stomp on her issue about me needing to being in therapy.
Money well spent. Our arguments are less frequent and over more quickly.
Your wife's behavior certainly isn't helping the situation and you need to do a lot better job of communicating with her. You said cuddle and her expectations were for something else.
Take responsibility for the problem and tell her you will do whatever it takes to make things right.View Thread

I had premature ejaculation issues and always tried to pleasure my lover anyway I could. After a lot of sexual activity, I was able to get control of my ejaculatory response and was capable of many near orgasms and able to choose when I orgasmed.
That's a great feeling. Knowing that you may never know, if you are going to be able orgasm is the definition of frustration.View Thread

He found a position that that works for him and wants to stick with it.
I never was a big fan of rear entry, too much friction.
Regarding oral sex, I am willing to give and receive, but can do without it. I prefer manual stimulation so I can use my mouth for kissing or sucking and I don't think burying your face in a crotch is romantic. My wife gets dizzy in the missionary position which is best for me maintaining an erection and it allows my pubis to stimulate the clitoris.
We roll over on our sides when I'm hard enough and make love facing each other. The other advantages are, not having to support your weight like the missionary position (which may be one reason your boyfriend loses his erection) and both parties can control the movement.
I prefer a lover who gives directions. If he has his hand "down there", tell him what to do and what you enjoy. He seems to have little experience and guidance and positive reinforcement is better than him guessing what to do.
Love making is more about giving pleasure than receiving it.View Thread

Lovemaking is a beautiful and natural thing an you are lucky to have a wife that enjoys it and wants it.. You might want to get a medical opinion or see a therapist.View Thread

I'm not an aggressive person. Lovemaking is all about pleasuring your partner and trying new things. I've never been into role playing or fantasy. You talk about what pleases you and what pleases her. You ask your partner is there anything they would like to try, If they have a problem with that approach they are probably too high maintenance.View Thread
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