Every so often I think about having gone in a different direction; not getting married and being free to do what gave me pleasure.
When I was 33 I was dating two women; for about 6 months at the same time (all out in the open). The first woman was really interested in and enjoyed sex. That was the strongest component of our relationship. She was ready for anything that falls within normal. She also had no expectations about the relationship . The second woman, my wife to be, considered sex as a necessary evil when dating. The first time we made love I ignited something in her that she had never felt and she became an unimagible lover. On a scale of 1 to 10 she was a 12. She also had expectations.
Faced with a decision with having a non complicated relationship with a sex buddy or getting married to a potential life partner who was very passionate, I chose the latter.
What I got was the house, the kid, the dog the cat and sporatic excellent lovemaking.
Going the other direction, I could have had years of good, uncomplicated sex. The older you get, the pool of women who want and appreciate sex and are willing to get into a relationship without strings increases. If my wife died, I would be looking for women over 50 that appreciated being made love to. I'm sure there a lot of them.View Thread
The woman has the power over whether a couple makes love or not. State your position and stand your ground. He is taking advantage of you. Better to find out who he is now than after getting married. Almost everyone is attentive in the early stages of a relationship. After sealing the deal many people become more self interested.View Thread
I had a girlfriend who really enjoyed giving and receiving oral. After we had been together for a while she said that she still enjoys giving and receiving oral, just not at the same time. She wanted to concentrate on her orgasm. I had no problem with that.
It might be a good idea to try that approach the next time you are masturbating her. You concentrate on giving and she concentrates on receiving. You can also enhance the situation with your mouth and other hand; kissing, sucking, caressing. There is no manual on a particular woman's body. What she wants will change by the minute. Let her feel free to give instruction as you are stimulating her.
If a woman enjoys a sexual experience she is more likely to want it more frequently.View Thread
In many relationships there is a period where each partner tries to please their partner and then it reverts to a person's true sexual nature. My wife was a very sexual person and our sex life was good for many years. Early in our relationship she offered to do things mainly to please me. Things I didn't even ask for. After we were together for a while, those things went away and sexual activity became restricted over time, frequency reduced and after 32 years stopped. In my situation my wife had PTSD which would mean that she could only initiate sex and that was only after she became aroused mentally. The mental interest was diminished from getting a UTI every time we made love. Nothing I did. Her OBGYN said the issue was that she didn't have sex frequently enough but that suggestion wasn't followed.
A high percentage of married couples have unequal interest in sex. The gap is made up though masturbation. Anything else and you are asking for trouble. You also need to consider that your erections will continue to diminish at an accelerated rate. The question you need to answer is how is your relationship other than sex. If you are generally miserable and you can extricate yourself, why be unhappy for the rest of your life?
I have a very loving affectionate relationship even though there is no sex. I am a huge optimist and am retiring soon and maybe things will change. My wife still talks about the good old days and I haven't lost hope.View Thread
I understand what you are talking about I recently posted about my wife orgasming while we were spooning. I had nothing to do with it but it gave me a stronger erection than I had in years. I just turned 69 and my erection and ability to orgasm are diminished.
Fixing your problem is limited by physical and psychological constraints. I'm not a fan of porn, but some couples use if for foreplay. Will your wife allow you to stimulate her manually or orally? Her response will effect yours. Is she willing to stimulate you manually or orally? The more things you are both comfortable with the easier it is to resolve.
You should also thing about your health in general and the medications you are taking. I have diet, weight issues and am taking bp meds. My situation might improve with a better diet.
Regarding constraints, I'm up the creek. I really enjoy giving orgasms. My previous girlfriend couldn't orgasm from intercourse when I met her. I became proficient performing oral sex. The first time I made love to my wife to be I orgasmed quickly and then performed oral sex. She orgasmed for about an hour. She had never had an orgasm even though she had been sexually active for more than 10 years. We occasionally talk about this and recently I asked her if anyone had performed oral sex on her she said no. I asked her why and she says she doesn't like it. Go figure. When we made love she liked to have orgasms for an hour or until she was exhausted. I was allowed to use my hands to augment my penis. She has PTSD and is only interested when she is aroused by her mind. Knowing that I have erection issues puts a damper on things.
I have tried ed meds and cialis and generic viagra have an effect, but not enough to produce a change I could demonstrate. I take 4000mg of Source Natural Horny Goat weed a day and I strongly recommend it. I wish I was taking it 4 years ago before things got worse. It is inexpensive and I have not experienced any adverse side effects.
I have BPH and get my PSA checked annually. I have never had my testosterone checked but would expect that it has decreased as I got older. I stay away from anything that is likely to increase my risk for prostate cancer; anything hormonal i.e. DHEA.View Thread
Aging is the enemy and things can go down hill fast. Overrall health is important. Personally, I found that delaying orgasm leads to a stronger orgasm. I had one one of the best orgasms in my life at age 60.
I'm 69 now and even masturbating, my orgasms are disappointing. Over the last few years, my sensitivity as descreased along with the strength of ,my erections. I can't even use the same technique to orgasm that worked well for almost 50 years.View Thread
Passion and fireworks are optional. Spicing things up and position may not improve things. There is a large component of mechanics. He needs to learn how to give you an orgasm and if you can't guide him, some reading is in order.
If he sees you orgasming (not faking) It might get his motor running.
He's bored because you aren't responding and doesn't know what to do.View Thread