Your all right. He wrote me a whole long email about what I am doing wrong but he didn't take any responsibility for himself. I really wish he would go see a Dr and get some DBT therapy (maybe some meds). I'm in therapy now but she said the problem isn't me... it's him. Yes, I struggle with bouts of depression but it doesn't help when he accuses me of being one that depressed.
I often wonder/ worry about the future with him but when I bring pup the depression he says "I went online I read every article I could about it and changed. You should at least try it like I did not even is weak and needs a shrink.." I'm not weak I'm willing to admit that I need help beyond self-help articles can give. He's in denial. He puts he projects his problems on me. I know its not right.I'm lost as too what to do.View Thread
He's a carpenter. He's used to being laid off and working from job to job. He was laid off in July and waited until Thanksgiving to start searching. He's looking but he could have been employed by now if he started sooner. He decided in July that he was leaving his union after he was laid off.
Side Note: Also, we don't live together. We have no joint accounts and he doesn't even have his own apartment. He lives with his mother. He doesn't have to provide for me. If he suggests to pay for something I always ask him "are you sure? it's okay I got it. really it's not a problem" he always says "no it's okay" but when we argue it gets thrown in my face. He says "I'm materialistic and I always want to do expensive things he has to pay for"... I don't understand where that comes from.
Its's not mutual. It seems like he wants to have sex and it will start to happen but before we can get there ) or sometimes during sex) he loses it and stops me. What I hate is when he say I "forced him to do it".. I'm doing the same thing I have always done if I'm aroused and let know in subtle ways I'm interested. He will go along with it and then accuse me like I put a gun to his head and made him do it.
I feel so lost. I don'r know what to do. Ever attempt I make to make him happy backfires. Even simple non-sexual things. He's so withdrawn and distant. Honestly, I'm depressed now. I started seeking professional help and taken SSRI. Anything I do positive/negative he doesn't acknowledge or accuses me of something I am not. He puts me down. I don't know. I'm trying to stay with him through this. It wasn't always like this. The last two months is when all this started.