My husband is 61 and I'm 55. 2nd marriage for me and him. He lost his previous wife of 16 yrs to cancer 6 yrs ago. He is slightly obsessive compulive which used to drive me nuts but I have gotten used to it for the most part. He is also very shy when it comes to sex. He won't ask me for it. He says its because if I'm not in the mood and say no, it will hurt his feelings. I am very honest and straightforward and not shy in the bedroom so I told him, all you have to do is ask, if I'm not in the mood, don't take it personally, but 99% of the time I will say yes. It is a BIG turnoff that he doesn't have the cajones to ask his own wife for sex. If I initate it, all is well but most of the time it doesn't last very long because I seriously don't even think he masturbates. I have very nicely tried to talk to him about this but he says he's just scared I'll say no.Thats also a turnoff to me. Also, I get no hugs, pats on the butt, kisses on the neck or ANYTHING like that unless I ask for it and then he will for about 2 days then its back to the same thing. I even told him for Christmas all I wanted was hugs. He does so once a day but thats slacking off. I am getting so lonely and bitter. I'm not unattrative or overweight and I have had my share of male attention before I married him. He does give me a kiss goodnight but just a quick dry peck on the lips. Whenever I try putting a little tongue into it, I don't get much of a response. Leaving him or having an affair is not an option. I don't know what to do. When I bring the subject up, his feelings get hurt.View Thread
I have taken the lead many times Steve with success but I find that frustrating after a while. I want HIM to want ME. He does satisfy me when we are in the bedroom but getting there is the problem. He is an insecure person so maybe you are right on that account. I do give him compliments to try to bolster his ego. He just isn't affectionate at all outside of the bedroom which frustrates me and is starting to make me bitter. I'm just going to keep researching and listening to others suggestions and hope for the bestView Thread
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