So far this book is really great! Thanks for the suggestion. I am basically just in the definitions and slang and stuff right now. I never considered myself a masochist, but seriously this book describes me exactly. And most of the things so far about communication, limits, and all that we already do. But I am learning a lot from it already.View Thread
The domestic violence thing is a real concern for me. I happen to love when he bruises me, but we are careful about their location. I don't scream during sex or anything, but he lives in an apartment so I'm sure all the neighbors could hear if that happened. Also, if I ended up with visible bruises nothing I could say would matter to my family. I obviously don't want him marked as a woman beater.
We've already done a lot though so finding new stuff could be a challenge. I've been spanked and whipped, slapped, tied up, blindfolded, we've used cameras, we even brought someone else into the bedroom once.View Thread
That is a new perspective and thank you for sharing it. You're right, the reason I'm posting this is for my man.
However, I don't think you really understand it. He isn't inflicting pain on me. He raises me up to levels where things don't even really hurt, if that makes sense. And he certainly is not inflicting emotional pain. He was surprised at first by what a contradiction I am. I want him to slap my face, then kiss me and tell me he loves me. One balances out the other.
He is into domination, in fact before him I had never had any type of rough sex. So he enjoys it and isn't only doing it to please me.
I am definitely sworn off the choking, it isn't worth the risks. When I said I will find more to try, I mean I have no intention of giving up the rough sex when we are both into it. It's just about finding new things to do, and making sure we are safe about it.View Thread
This used to happen to me in some positions where I loved it but had to stop because it was too intense. I am a squirter, and my guy LOVES it. My advice would be just let go. Probably when you orgasm you'll feel your muscles tense up and you'll squirt. It feels amazing!!! If you're worried about peeing, just empty your bladder beforehand.View Thread
He is CPR trained for his job so if it came down to it he would know what to do (I still could get brain damage though) BUT that said, I am with the right guy and I most definitely don't ever want to put him in that sort of position. He's concerned about me, and I wouldn't want him to do anything that makes him uncomfortable. I know deep down (even though i don't like to admit it) that I'm the sort of person that sometimes doesn't know when to stop.
As for other acts, I'm already pretty extreme, but I'll have to do some research, I'm sure there's more to try. I hate to give it up cause I really really love it, and there are so many more dangerous things like knife play, and there I go trying to rationalize it again. But I want to be safe and most of all I want to never hurt my man the way that sort of thing could.
Thanks for replying and not being too judgemental, I know this sort of thing is taboo for some people. ,View Thread
It might seem obvious, but I really don't understand why it's so dangerous. I understand that cutting off oxygen is dangerous, but worst case scenario if it goes too far and I lose consciousness he would obviously stop right away. Death sounds a bit exaggerated to me.
I'm sure a safe word is a good idea; it might make him feel better too.View Thread
I agree with the first post. Make sure you talk to her and go slow. Lots of foreplay!!! It might take you a few times to get it all in.
My bf is about your size, he took it slow the first time. Talked to me, made sure I was ok. And I LOVE his size, and now if we're in a rough/naughty mood he can just shove it in with minimal discomfort. But obviously since she is a virgin you'll have to be extra careful.
There is nothing wrong with you, you're lucky! Just make sure you'll gentle and you'll have this girl hooked!View Thread
I am VERY into rough sex. I love when my guy bites me to leave bruises, throws me around, calls me a whore, etc. It's been going pretty far lately. I love when he chokes me, I'm always squeezing his hand (our cue to choke harder) but he never chokes me quite as hard as I want. He is afraid to leave visible bruises. He also has started slapping me in the face, which I was surprised to be very into. Yesterday he slapped me and I saw stars and had the best orgasm of my life.
We have a very good relationship. He calls me names and is rough in bed, but out of the bedroom he would never do any such thing. I can always tell him to stop and he will, I have total trust in him. We communicate well and regularly.
Recently he has voiced concerns that he might go too far. It started when he was choking me and said he felt a crunch like he might hurt me and stopped. He told me after we were done and all I remember is wanting him to be rougher. He is worried he might get too into it and hurt me, but I know he wouldn't and I want him to go further. And he is very into being dominant, I can tell he wants to be rougher. My personality, I am a very big thrill seeker/ adrenaline junkie. I think I would want to stop before it went too far, but hen part of me wonders if I would keep telling him go more and not realize it was too much until later. Opinions? Advice on how to make him realize that I want him to be rough, I'll tell him to stop (and have) if he goes too far or I'm not in the mood, and that he won't hurt me?
I really love this man and the sex with him is still great, but rough sex every once in a while is really amazing, something extra to throw things over the edge. But he's been holding back and I want things back to how they used to be.View Thread