I'm glad you have a sharp eye on your relationship and life. Some people would just throw everything away. You sound like a good mother and woman. Your hands are full with a special needs child, an emotionally upset child, and 2 abandon children. We all have to do what we can to protect and nuture children. I agree with what the other folks have posted. Make your you get the support and love you need. A 3rd party mediation would be a good idea. Really make sure of the every 6 month STD work up is done. Also advise him if he produces another child, you won't be around. You have enough on your plate. Get everything in writing and filed. Make a contract. Get counseling and remember that no one needs to judge what another person has to do to keep the family together. If it's not illegal (stealing/selling drugs), there is not judgement involved. I hope he's the guy you say he is. Good LuckView Thread
Like jhmlewis stated, "Porn is not real life." Those "actors" are getting paid and doing other things behind the camera that you can't see. Medically speaking, all the information you stated about anal sex is true. You can cause big problems for yourself and your partner. If you partake in any anal, be clean, safe, and think with the big head. You won't get it again if you give your gf a UTI or PID. I did have a friend get an e-coli pneumonia from a slip of the tongue. We both were lab techs and tested the stuff he coughed up. I have enjoyed anal sex for years, but I always am careful with my partners. I know I can cause an infection and have done it in the past. Not from going back to front or direct contact, but I spread it with to much external moisture. Believe me, I wash both of us up really well before and after. Here's one of my favorite questions: Do you know why Nature made poop stink?
I know their stagnant. Use to work at Flying J. They'd come in and pay for fuel and WOW. Worse was when they came to the dinner counter. Quite a few logs had to be faked, due to the smell. LOL Dad drove stock trucks. We would be woken up in the morning after his run just from the smell alone.
Like I said before, protect yourself. A friend of mine just lost her husband last year. He was a driver for a good company. He had a couple of heart attacks and blood pressure problems. She made sure the house was paid for and her 3 kids (2 by him, 1 a grandson) would be taken care of. She couldn't change him, so she did the next best thing. PREPARED for the final heart attack. Make sure the wills, the living wills and POA's are in order.
I know you love your man. You've been with him for 13 years. Even if you can't change him, enjoy as much of him as you can. Don't let him jump in to the grave, keep fighting to keep him out. Good LuckView Thread
I glad you don't want to go outside to get gradification. My father was a truck driver for years, so I know about him not being there. I know it's not the same, but the worry and missing him was there. 2 things you can do for yourself. 1. Get a big life insurance policy on him and show him. Tell him he either changes or you'll collect. Hopefully it shocks him in to see your point of view. 2. You can't change his habits on the road. Change his and your habits at home. If you & he smoke, smoke outside only. Your doing good if you change the diet at home, but have him do other things with you. I remember my dad never wanted to travel very far from home, but find a park to walk in or a walking path. Get closer to nature.
Even after a heart attack, some people won't change. We are all creatures of habit and you have to make the most of the time you have left. So if living with less salt, less smoking, and more loving is what you want, strive for it. The old saying is "you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink." If he's not going to change, protect yourself and yours. I know a few of old truck drivers, alot are single, ill, and lives alone. My dad included. Good LuckView Thread
What your describing is a simply "rug burn." Your rubbing your penis on a dry surface and pulling on the foreskin at the same time.
Your best fix is OTC lube. Since she's diabetic and is prone to infections, you'll have to find one that is ok for her to use. It's not that she doesn't want you or she's not excited. Women can just dry naturally. I know if my gf and have morning sex, I have to pull out the lube or I end up with a rub burn. Plus it hurts her.
Take your time and try different ones. I love trying out lubes on her. Don't just slap it on you and go to town. Get down there and rub it on and in her, then put it on yourself. Or have her rub it on you. Make it fun, not clinical. Tell her to let you know if you need add more. You may not get it where it needs to be on the first try. PRACTICE PRACTICE PRACTICE. and Good LuckView Thread
1. Listen to your partner. Your great foreplay, your size is good, she wants to please your more. No down side yet
2. Your seeing your dr and taking the meds you need. You have good insurance. Your good on the medical front. See if surgery can repair the scar tissue.
3. Karma Sutra book. Read it. There has got to be a position your comfortable with and gives you both pleasure. Porn is ok if your wanting live action positions, but they are actors. Most of the men have an elephant trunk for a penis. Hell they make most men feel small. The women prossibly couldn't feel a average size man.
4. Make your partner happy, then take your problem in hand and shoot where you want. She can play catch, wear it, or put it where ever you want. I have always been a firm believer make her happy first, then you can do as you want or can.
5. Women like sex and foreplay. Most of the time, she will have a lot of good releases before you even enter her. She will want to give you the same you gave her. She will tell you what she wants and what you can do. All you got to do is ask. My gf feels like she's being selfish if all I do is give her oral and don't finish myself off. After 5 years, she still hasn't realized doing oral sex on her is gradifing for me.
6. All ED medications are to help, but are not a fix all. If she's not complaining, just keep doing what your doing. Keep her happy in other ways and if you can ejaculate do it. If not, just keep her orgasming. My gf and other partners from before have been to the point of being so satified without penetration, they are willing to stop. Let her think it's your turn next time and then do her again and again. I orgasm about every 2 time we have sex together. Sometimes it could be on the 4 time and we are lucky to have sex once a week due to schedules.
In our puritian orginiated society, sexual acts other that for procreation are considered taboo or sinful. This, I believe, was to control STD's and other diseases. Now in America, we have have laws that protect freedom of speech, to protect all persons of different sexual orientations, and allows the openess of sexual expression.
What our laws don't allow is the open solicitation of sex. A man or woman is not "allowed" to stand on the street and offer sexual favors for money. We call them many things, but they are all the same.
Our laws do cover "Actors." A person paid to do an act, either on a stage, the street, or a bed room. We in mainstream America call them "Adult entertainment actors." Frankly any one who can allow an object to be inserted in to their anus and then allow that object to be inserted in to their mouth and say they like it, is acting. Yuck. Watch MTV or any one of 100 stations and you will find one of these "actors" who had their start in porn.
Since the begining of mankind, we, as human beings, have done things to each other and ourselves that we call sex. You can enjoy it, complain about it, or just turn it off, but it's always going to be there. Just because you think it's right, someone else is going to think it's wrong. What happens between 2 or more consenting "adults" and no one dies, it's going to be acceptiable in our society.
As for myself (health care professional for 20 years), ATM no way, no how. Anal intercourse is great, but ATM NO!!! I don't want to even go into the bugs and dieases that would/could be passed. With anal, you go and finish there, then shower. No cuddle, no going back to sleep, just get up and wash. It's the best protection for both of you. For the record, this is my opinion. Good LuckView Thread
It's been 16 plus years since I've seen an ultra sound picture. It was black & gray and with a little penis you could barely make out. (my son). Didn't know about dating the fetus that way. I think both FCL and I agree, be cautious.View Thread
The question is how long have you been together and how long ago have they been separated? You can ask for a Quanitive B-HcG test. It's expensive, but it will give you a more exact lenght of pregnancy. This is an added expence, but the only way to tell if the baby's his is a DNA test. If he thinks it is and wants to help means he's a good man. If he doesn't think it's his and doesn't want to help, a good Idea would be to put money aside in case it is his. As for him taking responsibility for his ex, I would suggest you don't get to involved with him. If you only known him for a few months, it's still early in a relationship to avoid major problems later, like trying to move out of living together. If you are living together, protect yourself and keep your items & financial separate from his. I don't think you want to pay for his kid. Please don't become pregnant with his child, until you find out what he's going to do after he finds out about the other baby. It could make your life very difficult. This is a little fatherly advise. Good LuckView Thread