I just have to say, you are a very lucky girl to have found a partner who wants only your happiness. Not many are so lucky.
He makes such an effort to please you to the point where he sees that he is a failure when he can't achieve what he wants to give you. Rather, what he fails to see is that he has succeeded. In a different manner may be, but he has successfully made you feel loved and treasured, which transcends any physical pleasure there is. He had also, without his knowing, endeared himself to you further.
What you need to do is prove to him that he didn't fail, and more than that, he is unconditionally loved and appreciated. How? Don't just tell him how you feel, find ways to show him.
Like, surprise him with a dinner date complete with fancy table setting and formal clothes, but at the privacy of your own home. Get a friend or a relative to watch over the kids for the entire night. Cook his favorite food and buy his favorite wine. Wear the dress that he likes seeing you in. Get him a present that you know will put a smile on his lips and a sparkle in his eyes, all without putting a hole in your pocket. And make sure that the entire affair is full of sweetness, love, fun, and all about him. Aside from that, try to spend more little cozy moments with him to show him your affection.View Thread
Have you tried talking it out with him? Maybe what you both need is to talk about your relationship, if you both still feel the same about it. Maybe there were some miscommunications that went unaddressed in your ten years together.
But, the sad part that I see as well is that, you might be the only one holding on to it. You said you tried to break off the relationship once, but you missed him. He doesn't seem to care enough to hold on to you and give you a reason to stay. In fact, as what I gather in your post, he didn't try to stop or win you over during that one time breakup. And the fact that he looks at pictures on the internet, somehow suggests that he may be looking for something else.
Don't do this to yourself. If it is causing you this much inner turmoil, without the other party trying to convince you otherwise, then it may just be time to go your separate ways.
Harsh as it may sound, now. But, you will see how unhealthy this setup is for you, once you let yourself have the chance to meet others who can love you better.
Hopefully, you find the happiness you deserve. Best of luck and take care always! Love yourself more.View Thread
You say you are a hypochondriac and that you do not follow your prescriptions. Being a hypochondriac, your subconscious is probably bothering you that something wrong might happen because you were not properly following your prescriptions. You must be stressed by now about all those possibilities, which may be causing you some anxiety. This anxiety is the symptoms that you talk about. Maybe, the best thing for you to do is to follow your doctor and take your meds as prescribed. And definitely, you will feel better when you do so. I hope you feel better soon!View Thread