a numbing agent isn't what you need, you need a strong lubricant...even vaseline will do...and a lot of patience on your man's part. go slow, re lube frequently, and at some point it will be comfortable for both of you.
That is the slilliest thing I've heard yet. There are a lot of reasons for ED, but the most common is advancing atherosclerosis, and with age a reduction in the levels of Nitric Oxide in the bloodstream. The reduction in levels is normal to the aging process, but when you add in arteries full of junk you now are less able to respond to the levels you have left.
Viagra gives you a JOLT of nitric oxide so strong that even ailing arteries will dilate to some extent.
Here is the best advice I can give you. Get the oil, dairy, and meat out of your diet. Eat very very low fat, and lots of vegetables. Kale is the best thing I can recommend to boost your nitric oxide, but you'll have to eat a LOT of it daily, and chew chew chew, because what you're doing is using the secondary pathway to nitric oxide creating via the gut.
And now I've told you exactly what you don't want to hear, so best of luck to you.
Johnwad, I like Stevesmw's response best because I think it keys in on your self description as a borderline sex addict.
Attempting fewer orgasms, and delaying orgasm is the best way I know to get a stronger one. It means you'll have less of them, which will put pressure on your desire to have more. So it may be a quality vs quantity situation and age is a real issue. None of us are as young as springtime I'm afraid.
Here is something I tried though, and since you've been practicing kegels it might work for you: seek out information on male multiple orgasms. I tried this for a time, and found that it was a lot of hard work and for me ultimately not worth it, but here is what I found out:
Through practice and strengthening through kegels I was able to have multiple orgasms, although I never did have more than two in a row. The reason was that in order to have multiple orgasms you must attain orgasm without ejaculation. You have to repress the latter...at least until the last orgasm. It takes strength, timing, and discipline. It works and its very cool, however, the second orgasm was always so intense that I never could manage the discipline to withhold ejaculation the second time. Very intense it was, and I was in my 50's too.
So, if you're looking for a challenge, pursue multiple orgasms and have a ball. You may find its right up your alley. The first orgasm was great, but the second was a mind blower. I'm afraid a 3rd might have killed me...lol.
Paul, if you're not happy with your sex life now, you're not going to be happy with it later. These should be your salad days, not your sexually dysfunctional ones.
As others have pointed out, She's not the first woman not to orgasm during intercourse, but not masturbating or being open or interested in anything that might help is far more indicative of her interest in sex than the number 5. She's more likely a 2 who wishes for your sake she was at least a 5.
So what is your number? The average man is a 10 for whom sex is a central part of their relationship, and their identity. Its usually less for women, but when you're at the opposite ends of that scale you might as well be living at opposite ends of the country. Her response to living so far away is, "I'm not moving, and I'm not commuting either, but you're welcome to make do with that."
It isn't shallow for wanting sex to be important to both of you, or if it is shallow then men are shallow. Embrace it.
Gail's responses are blunt, stiff upper lip, and a refreshing contrast to the sob-sister hand-wringing at the other end of the spectrum. I don't always agree with her...heck, occasionally I don't agree with myself when I read an old post.
I occasionally comment on other people's opinions when they stand out to me, but I'm not interested in seeing anyone shouted down.
I don't know if the OP was abused. She never said so. She never even indicated the ages of the girls who did this with her. If for example, we discovered the girl was 20, that would alter my perspective. What we do know is that she is disgusted and ashamed of what happened. So, if she wants to chat it out with a sob-sister, well good luck to her. As I near 60 years of age I've got way to many things I did as an adult to reflect on to waste time with something that happened with another child when I was eight. So, if I was standing in front of the OP right now, I'd listen attentively, give her absolution and suggest as Cher said in Moonstruck, "Snap out of it!" kramView Thread