We are an older couple, 75 - 73, and being of the 'older' generation were taught that sex was bad and therefore during school and college years, there was little experimentation. During the work years, I was ready for sex most any time, but the wife seemed to continue to hold on to traditional values, it seemed to me it appeared to be a obligatory thing to satisfy me. There was no experimentation, missionary was it, if it happened. She told me openly that oral was totally out of the question as 'I'm not going to put that thing in my mouth." NaÃ¯ve as I was, I hoped time would change things. Well it didn't. I am aware that the sex drive lessens with aging and some of the meds we are given for various 'aging' problems. For the last couple of months, I have not changed any meds, but have noticed a markedly decrease of sensation of feeling in the groin. There is nothing that I hear, see or do, for that matter, that will cause the 'tingling' of an erection even wanting to form. As mentioned, we are 'old school' and very seldom mention anything even slightly related to sex, therefore, there is no discussion of my problem with the wife. IF I, on rare occasion, make an attempt at sex, it is masturbating her, usually with her objecting because ' I can't do anything to help you go too.' I ignore her objection and she will quite often have a hard orgasm with no problem. She may make a 'half-hearted' attempt to rub my genital area, which sometimes will produce a 'moderate erection' and after her orgasm, if I try to enter her, it's still missionary, and by the time I move into position to enter, I'm soft again. I do, at times enjoy watching porn which appeals to me. . . . couples, etc., nothing to wild or kinky, but now I notice that even that, which sometimes created the desire to masturbate, has gotten to the point that there is no sensation whatsoever. I have tried, on several occasions, in private. to force myself into an erection using porn, and have succeeded a very few times to become erect, but have given up trying to orgasm after sometimes nearly two hours of masturbation. I have also developed, also from the old school of thought, I think, that my masturbating is a form of 'cheating' on my wife. I am about at 'wit's end' with this problem and would appreciate any suggestions.View Thread
Gail: Thank you for your reply. I am not blaming my wife as in the past I have had no problems with erection or ejaculation. The inability to maintain an erection is a problem that has become more severe in the past 6 months, the inability to ejaculate problem has been ongoing for some three months. The latter of the two, as posted is the primary concern, as it has the wife thinking that she is not doing something 'right' as she calls it. Also, there is no verbal interaction during any form of sexual activity, (kickback from when kids were at home.) Hope this clarifies.View Thread
The opinions expressed in WebMD Communities are solely those of the User, who may or may not have medical or scientific training. These opinions do not represent the opinions of WebMD. Communities are not reviewed by a WebMD physician or any member of the WebMD editorial staff for accuracy, balance, objectivity, or any other reason except for compliance with our Terms and Conditions. Some of these opinions may contain information about treatments or uses of drug products that have not been approved by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration. WebMD does not endorse any specific product, service or treatment.
Do not consider Communities as medical advice. Never delay or disregard seeking professional medical advice from your doctor or other qualified healthcare provider because of something you have read on WebMD. You should always speak with your doctor before you start, stop, or change any prescribed part of your care plan or treatment. WebMD understands that reading individual, real-life experiences can be a helpful resource, but it is never a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment from a qualified health care provider. If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your doctor or dial 911 immediately.