I had similar problem at your your boyfriend. I disagree he is addicted to masturbation. I was single for a long time and in those circumstances its your only outlet.
What happened to me I I also went soft the first few times I had sex after my long break. My partner was NOT happy with me either and it becomes an issue for the man too as he starts to think there is something wrong with him.
The problem basically is a vagina doesn't grip anywhere near as tight as most men grip their penis while masturbating. I was also wearing a condom which (unfortunately) drastically cuts down the sensation a man feels.
My partner then tried another approach. She focused a lot more on my testicles. (during sex, hand and blowjobs). The first time she did that during a blowjob I lasted two minutes !! She took my testicles (one at a time) in her mouth and gently sucked on them while jerking me off with her hand. As men don't touch there much during masturbation it sent me into orbit.
During intercourse we did reverse cowgirl. I felt much more in that position and she was able to play with my testicles with her hands. Just remember to be gentle. That area is _very_ sensitive.
Once your boyfriends starts to cum he (and you) will relax and things hopefully will improve. It did for me. I now cum much easier now.
Hope that helps (and that I wasn't too blunt)!View Thread
I had this problem. I got too used to masturbating when I was younger. When you are living at home and need to masturbate you grip your penis very tightly and stroke fast so you can orgasm quickly to lessen the risk of being caught.
A vagina doesn't feel anything like that. (Especially with a condom on). The first few times I had sex I actually went soft a few times because I felt almost nothing.
Position is everything when getting over this. Initially I found I only had an orgasm with my partner on top. (Reverse cowgirl). She'd go the extra mile and play with my testicles which was enough to send me over the edge. Once you orgasm a couple of times during intercourse you start worrying less about it and it becomes easier to orgasm in other positions.
Can I make a suggestion that worked for me... I'm a man who was in the same situation. I struggle to reach an orgasm through sex because I only starting having sex in my late 20's and was too used to masturbating.
The problem with masturbation is most men (certainly in my case) stroke themselves very quickly and grip very tightly to achieve a quick orgasm. I guess it comes from doing it as a teenager in my parents home without wanting to be caught in the act.
Condoms don't help either as the really cut down on a man stimulation but they are a necessity in this age of HIV/STIs.
My wife and I find what works for us is if we use rear entry positions such as spooning. She feels a LOT tighter. The stimulation is very similar to masturbation so I can easily reach an orgasm. Sometime too much so and I orgasm too quickly.
I am 42. I can ejaculate twice in an hour, but I need 20 minutes rest. The trick is not to go immediately for round two when you get another erection, but to wait a bit.
I guess the easiest way to see is to masturbate to orgasm and to see how long it takes to orgasm a second time. Of course masturbation is far less exerting than sex, but it still will give you some idea.
When you are in your teens 3 to 4 times in an hour is possible as your recovery time is minutes. I used to be able to keep erect after having an orgasm. No chance now. Sigh.
Can understand him being a bit confused by you changing your mind after 8 years, but not by his childish reaction.
You explained to him you would give him oral sex, but you didn't want him to ejaculate in your mouth. I don't see how he can object to that situation. At the point of no return when having an orgasm the last thing I worry about is when my semen is going.
He is a having an orgasm from oral sex. What his problem? There are a LOT of men who have partners who don't give oral sex at all.
To be honest I don't think if I was a woman I'd be happy to have semen ejaculated into my mouth either !! I accidentally ejaculated into my mouth while masturbating with my mouth open a couple of years ago. I discovered its extremely messy and my semen doesn't have a nice taste !!View Thread