Can I make a suggestion that worked for me... I'm a man who was in the same situation. I struggle to reach an orgasm through sex because I only starting having sex in my late 20's and was too used to masturbating.
The problem with masturbation is most men (certainly in my case) stroke themselves very quickly and grip very tightly to achieve a quick orgasm. I guess it comes from doing it as a teenager in my parents home without wanting to be caught in the act.
Condoms don't help either as the really cut down on a man stimulation but they are a necessity in this age of HIV/STIs.
My wife and I find what works for us is if we use rear entry positions such as spooning. She feels a LOT tighter. The stimulation is very similar to masturbation so I can easily reach an orgasm. Sometime too much so and I orgasm too quickly.
I am 42. I can ejaculate twice in an hour, but I need 20 minutes rest. The trick is not to go immediately for round two when you get another erection, but to wait a bit.
I guess the easiest way to see is to masturbate to orgasm and to see how long it takes to orgasm a second time. Of course masturbation is far less exerting than sex, but it still will give you some idea.
When you are in your teens 3 to 4 times in an hour is possible as your recovery time is minutes. I used to be able to keep erect after having an orgasm. No chance now. Sigh.
Can understand him being a bit confused by you changing your mind after 8 years, but not by his childish reaction.
You explained to him you would give him oral sex, but you didn't want him to ejaculate in your mouth. I don't see how he can object to that situation. At the point of no return when having an orgasm the last thing I worry about is when my semen is going.
He is a having an orgasm from oral sex. What his problem? There are a LOT of men who have partners who don't give oral sex at all.
To be honest I don't think if I was a woman I'd be happy to have semen ejaculated into my mouth either !! I accidentally ejaculated into my mouth while masturbating with my mouth open a couple of years ago. I discovered its extremely messy and my semen doesn't have a nice taste !!View Thread
I can understand your embarrassment. I had to make a post-vasectomy sperm sample at a pathology lab twice. (The first time showed sperm in my sample).
I was told they needed the whole sample. So what they told you was correct.
You probably filled the container because you were probably asked to abstain from ejaculating (for in my case for 3 days). The amount of semen I ejaculated was considerably more than usual as result of this.
I don't think pathology labs have ever thought how embarrassing it is to make such a sample. They sent me to the staff toilets !! To make matters worse someone knocked on the door while I was busy.
The least they can do is give you a container that provides for all types of men. Mine was far too narrow. I don't think they even thought about how on earth I was going to get the sample into it. There was NO WAY I was going to ask for a wider one. I literally had to aim to make sure nothing end up on the floor.
To those working at the labs that responded why don't they give you a sterile condom or something a lot more appropriate to masturbate into ? This kind of things wouldn't happen.View Thread
I finally went for my second test as was declared sperm free on Friday. Extremely embarrassing though. While I was busy masturbating to make the sample someone knocked on the door wanting to use the staff toilet they sent me to ! Its no wonder a LOT of men don't go back for their post-vasectomy tests !!
Must say though I'm looking forward to not using a condom for the first time. Its going to take some getting used to.View Thread
I agree with Blake_Valentine. Your chances are low of catching something. Especially as you used a condom throughout.
I reckon as she used a condom with you and didn't perform the oral sex without one either, she is worried about catching something as well making it even more unlikely you caught something doing this.
If you're still worried, have a STI/HIV test to reassure yourself. The cost is worth the peace of mind you'll get from knowing you're OK.
I've had a HIV test (a rapid test) recently. It took about 10 minutes to get the results back. They just pricked my finger to do it. Don't feel embarrassed either clinics do these tests all the time.View Thread
I actually met my wife at work. We got married about 6 months ago We didn't work together at all in the office. We just started talking and became friends.
We were close friends for about 12 years when we decided to become more than that. It actually got to a point where people were suggesting we get married and work colleagues referred to her as my "girlfriend".
The weirdest part of it was the first time we made love. Its almost as if you know the person too well, but we soon got over that
My office don't have a policy against having co-worker relationships. I know of at least 5 relationships that have lead to marriage.View Thread
I actually say it all the time probably because I really do mean it. She, funny enough, is more the one who is uncomfortable to receive it. Sh'es been hurt before a lot so that might be a factor in it.
I see your point, still a bit frustrating. My doctor didn't tell me much at my pre-vasectomy consultation. He just said I needed to have a test at around 3 months. He made no mention of having to ejaculate to clear out all remaining sperm until I get a sperm free test.
Although I've ejaculated probably about 20 times in that period I would have deliberately masturbated lots more to make sure that the first test would be sperm free.
Can anyone give me some idea of how many ejaculations that will be needed to get a sperm free test ?View Thread