I'm 80 and haven't had intercourse with my wife for several years because of her medical problems. I must depend on her hand and mine but I have found it increasingly difficult to achieve orgasm and ejaculation unless I look at Internet porn; however, I would prefer not to do that. Cialis helped to provide more and better erections but the orgasm problem remains. Any suggestions?View Thread
My wife and I both were virgins when we married over 50 years ago when we were in our late 20s. Neither of us had any prior sexual experience. Prior to our marriage, my wife went to a doctor for a general examination and he did a procedure to her hymen to prevent pain or discomfort during our first intercourse.
I well recall our first honeymoon night when I entered her at least three times and had great orgasms. There was no difficulty or bleeding and I didn't notice anything when I penetrated her hymen.
Being a virgin, this was the greatest experience of my life and I was glad we both waited until we were married to have sex. Prior to that, I did some rather heavy petting to her but she never touched me sexually.
What I didn't know, until some time later, was how to give my wife an orgasm. She always seemed to enjoy the sexual act but I knew she didn't ever climax. I continued to enjoy sex without her coming until I read an article about manual stimulation. I then realized that my relatively small penis and the location of her clitoris would result in the two never meeting.
When I learned about how to find the clitoris and stimulate it with my fingers, things changed considerably. As many have indicated in their posts, it's important to have the woman reach an orgasm first so after five or ten minutes of thrusting which I enjoyed, I rubbed her clitoris and made sure she came before I finished. Watching her enjoying the climax excited me more so I could come and ejaculate soon after her orgasm.
We used this method to allow us to have sex lasting anywhere from a few minutes to a half hour or so. The length of the act depended on when she had her orgasm followed by mine which, in turn, depended on when I stimulated her clitoris.
As the years went by, sex was good although I always was the one who initiated it but she never refused. We had four daughters and now we have four grandchildren
My wife sufffers from COPD (Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease) that began when she was a child. Several years ago, when she was in her late 70's, she stopped having sex because she experiences severe shortness of breath following an orgasm. That symptom can be very alarming to people with COPD so I can understand her reason for refusing to have sex anymore. She also believes that when people reach the age of 70 or 80, they don't need to have sex. I told her that, for a man, this isn't always the case and that I needed to have some sex regardless of my age which is now 80.
Fortunately, she's willing to masturbate me or allow me to masturbate myself in her presence. I find this activity very pleasing but I rarely have an orgasm. In addition, I've had some arthritis problems that preclude my having sex in the missionary position that we usually used. I hope to convince my wife to try some other positions and let me enjoy a full sex act without her reaching an orgasm. This might sound unfair but I don't know what else to do except for the manual stimulation she provides me. She never would perform oral sex on me but I frequently did so on her during foreplay.
Most of those posting here may be much younger than my wife and I and I thought it would be interesting and useful to post our experiences as virgins when we married and now when we have grown older (I said "older", not "old") View Thread
Thanks for the tip. As for discussions with her doctor, he's a friend and neighbor so she's much too reserved to discuss intimate matters with him. I can't really blame her for this. I don't think she would discuss such matter with anyone but me, unfortunately.View Thread
Any man who thinks forcing a woman to have sex will improve his sex life is terribly misinformed. The fact that he wants sex so frequently and even masturbates daily in the shower indicates that he may have a genuine sexual addiction problem that needs to be treated by a professional therapist.
Orgasms are great and I sometimes wish we could just press a button anytime to have one but then I don't think they would continue to be so pleasant if we had that ability. Your husband certainly can't expect you to feel the same way he does. One thing not mentioned in your post is whether you enjoy having sex with him? Do you have one or more orgasms with him or does he simply and selfishly think of himself during sexual activity with you? If you don't climax at least once while having sex with him, he may have to go out of his way to make sure you do. He may have to slow down or manipulate you with his finger during intercourse until you do have an orgasm. Then he will enjoy his orgasm even more if he really loves you. I know this from experience. You can also join him in the shower and help him with his masturbation if he learns to please you during regular sex. It will indicate that you want to enjoy sex with him regardless of how it's done. If these things don't help, try to get him to visit a therapist soon before it affects your marriage.View Thread