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Sexual Abuse Survivors Support Community

Welcome to a safe environment for receiving support from other survivors of ... more

ha ha... trigger - SIV trigger

[Trigger]

*********** **************** ***************** **************** *************...

I'm not really a psychopath, I just play one on the internet.

Posted by Rubberboa

1 Reply | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:ha ha... trigger - SIV trigger *********** **************** ***************** **************** *************...

Reply: Bloody chain letters (TRIG)

things like those letters just run me off screaming from religion. if your deity of...

I'm not really a psychopath, I just play one on the internet.

Posted by Rubberboa

3 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:Bloody chain letters (TRIG) things like those letters just run me off screaming from religion. if your deity of...

Courtney & crew - Trigger

*********** ****************** ****************** ****************** **************...

I'm not really a psychopath, I just play one on the internet.

Posted by Rubberboa

*********** ****************** ****************** ****************** ************** ********************* ******************** *****************

Parenting with DID, and what it is like.

This will have to short today I am all over the scale and not doing well today. If you need more I will elaborate anotherday when not under seige from the past.

I am lucky enough to have a loving husband to help me parent. I cannn't imagine doing this alone. my kids are 4 & 8.

Let me tell you what just happened this morning.

my daughter wanted boiled eggs for breakfast. I put them onthe stove ste the timer and was ambushed by a flashback and my attention was elsewhere.
It wasn't until the THIRD egg expoloded in the boiled dry pan that I returned to the present.

(deleted) like that scares the crap out of me. No one in my system was mentally present in the here and now.

My kids are older now, they can fend for themselves. But it wasn't always so. I can recall quite a few time they ate peanut butter on a spoon for dinner becasue that is all my littles knew how to make.

My system was co-concsious and in COMPLETE agreement on the subject before we had babies. Above all we thought long and hard on these two subjects.

1. Can we nurtiure and raise this baby free of abuse. Can we do a better job then our mother?

2. system must be in 100% agreement that this baby will be protected from abuse and above all the effects of abuse on me. ALL internals must be on board and in agreement that they will protect this baby, and raise it when they are topside.

Its hard to parent for anyone. More so when you are not mentally well.

A baby's needs come before yours. There is no down time. its a relentless 24/7/365 day schedule for the next 18 years. There is no, "oh hold on baby I will feed you and change your diaper when I'm topside again in three days."

It can be done. Many do it.

There is no greater gift a parent can give a child then to say, I want whats best for you. I am not capable of doing that. I am giving you to someone else who can do that. That to me is unselfish love. If your heart is leaning towards adoption, then listen to it.

I had to ask myself some hard questions like: how can you raise a healthy child when you yourself are not healthy? How will you teach the baby to healthyily express emotions when your yourself can't do it. etc etc etc.

One thing I found was that genetic driven MUSTHAVEBABYORIWILLNOTBE COMPLETE feeling, left after I had my son. That intesity of desire will not be there aftere the baby is born. Its a species teaser that lures women into having offspring to keep the species alive.

TcosView Thread

I'm not really a psychopath, I just play one on the internet.

Posted byRubberboa

3 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:Courtney & crew - Trigger *********** ****************** ****************** ****************** **************...

Reply: Caution: Repressed Memory

(just quickily as I have to leave, will address the other stuff later today) open up...

I'm not really a psychopath, I just play one on the internet.

Posted by Rubberboa

3 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:Caution: Repressed Memory (just quickily as I have to leave, will address the other stuff later today) open up...

Reply: Memories coming....trigger

*********** ****************** ****************** ******************...

I'm not really a psychopath, I just play one on the internet.

Posted by Rubberboa

17 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:Memories coming....trigger *********** ****************** ****************** ******************...

Reply: Caution: Repressed Memory

Welcome to the board, glad you found us. Its very common for repressed stuff to come...

I'm not really a psychopath, I just play one on the internet.

Posted by Rubberboa

3 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:Caution: Repressed Memory Welcome to the board, glad you found us. Its very common for repressed stuff to come...

Reply: Courtney & crew - Trigger

*********** ****************** ****************** ****************** **************...

I'm not really a psychopath, I just play one on the internet.

Posted by Rubberboa

*********** ****************** ****************** ****************** ************** ********************* ******************** *****************

Some other thoughts.

Its healign to raise a child. you will be forced to heal in order to be the parent you want to be.

You have no choice. you either grow or your child suffers.

I found an inner bear within that I didn't know i had when I was forced to deal with other grownups. I am stil learning who to be a calm person when dealing with stuff like school confrentations regarding my son.

I had to deal with a lot of scary thought with my daughter, I didn't want a girl, I didn't want to face that inside myself. I didn't wnat to worry 24/7 that she was being abused by anyone.

Look at your inners and ask yourselves honestly, is there anyone in there that poses a lethal threat to the baby?

(yes I know that is hard to do.) I was so psychotic while pregnate with my daughter that if MQ hadn' taken over I would have injured my unborn. None of us slept for 4 days after she was born so collectively we all could remain topside and keep her safe from me.

I have grown considerally as a person, from being a parent. I wasn't always the perfect parent. (still not perfect) The job is gettign done. Not always by the book. but it's getting done.

Do you have a strong support system to be there as back up support? The means to provide for this baby? Do you all want to share your life with her?

There are adoptions that enable the birth mama to keep in contact and have visits. Have you thought about those? or would it be better for you to have no contact? Im sorry you are having to make such tough desicions with everthing else going on in your life.

I would say if you are still actively experiencing major time losses that the safety of a infant would concern me greatly. Unless you had an inner who is stong enough to come topside EVERYTIME and make sure the baby was dropped off somewhere safe before the other inner takes control of the body.

TcosView Thread

I'm not really a psychopath, I just play one on the internet.

Posted byRubberboa

3 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:Courtney & crew - Trigger *********** ****************** ****************** ****************** **************...

Reply: Memories coming....trigger

*********** ****************** ****************** ******************...

I'm not really a psychopath, I just play one on the internet.

Posted by Rubberboa

17 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:Memories coming....trigger *********** ****************** ****************** ******************...

Reply: Memories coming....trigger

************* *************** *************** ****************...

I'm not really a psychopath, I just play one on the internet.

Posted by Rubberboa

17 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:Memories coming....trigger ************* *************** *************** ****************...

Reply: May Trigger

Ladies and gentlemen will write tommorrow, tonight is filled with too many tears.

I'm not really a psychopath, I just play one on the internet.

Posted by Rubberboa

17 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:May Trigger Ladies and gentlemen will write tommorrow, tonight is filled with too many tears.

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