Well, last night when the flashbacks got to be too much I called the crisis line. We talked for awhile. She suggested that because of the duration of the abuse and the fact that it was repeated later on in life by someone else, I may have PTSD... (She said that she wasn't a medical professional so it wasn't a diagnosis or anything... Which I understand. It just made me think.)
I don't know. I had never considered it before. The people who abused me weren't physical, they didn't hit me or anything, it was more... emotional.
I've just been thinking about it since she said it. I haven't slept more than a couple hours a night for the last week or so. So my brain is mush at the moment, and with the extra time to think about things it only gets worse.
I was just talking to a counselor so I wasn't diagnosed with it officially but it was just making me think. I guess, like you mentioned, I think of more physical trauma and war victims when I hear PTSD.
So far I've only seen/talked to a counselor, not a therapist or anything... now I wonder if I'm going to have too.
I think this is the third time I've seen the counselor now and I just can't seem to really tell her what happened. I can't even look at her for Pete's sake!! She tries to do her best to make me comfortable but when I try to talk about the abuse... it's like the words get stuck in my throat and they don't want to come out.
I'm so angry with myself because I want to talk to her about what happened but I just can't. I don't know what's wrong with me.
I'm not really looking for anything in particular by posting this here. I just wanted to vent... I've had headaches galore this last week. Everyday my head has felt like it's being split open. My stomach has finally settled down though. I wound up having to get my meds changed so that I wouldn't feel like I was gonna lose my lunch 24/7. Again, I'm just venting...View Thread
I'm so sorry you're having such a hard time at work with pictures. I can understand why that would be such a huge trigger for you. I hate it when they start getting pushy about having your picture online or put up some where at work! I went through that last year to... I guess it was actually two years ago to tell the truth... It can never be simple; can it? It's always complicated.
I'm sorry you're feeling alone today. I just wanted to let you know I'm listening. Keep being good to yourself. I know it's hard sometimes to feel worthy of it but you are. You're worth every bit of it! I hope you feel better soon...
I've woken up from a nightmare, or had a flashback, and had kind of a tingling and lightheaded feeling. I've never had one like you've described. Caprice may be right though. You maybe moving around in your sleep or something and making your leg muscles feel fatigued or tired... Sorry that I don't have anything more than that for you.View Thread