Also, to answer your question, I don't have DID but that has happened to me before. It got easier the more I processed the memory.
It is useful or me to think of dissociation as a continuum. I don't know that therapy can induce DID, but it is important to stay fully present and like you said, let all of you have the meltdown.
My therapist makes me tell her stuff over and over until I can report it with true feelings, not an internal part of me mad and a part crying and the part actually speaking just giving a cold report. I'm sure yours will have other techniques also. I'd be curious about what she does, and how it works for you, if you would be willing to share...View Thread
bravegirlsclub.com has an online Body Restoration class that sounds lovely.... it is about transforming those hateful voices in your head about how your body looks. It's not an eating plan or exercise plan though I can see how it would certainly complement one and change your long term approach to what you put in your body.
I would like to do it one day when I am able to... I find myself bingeing on chocolate and I do it when I am most stressed... I'm talking several pounds of chocolate at a time! It's good chocolate, but still ... that's pretty excessive. I think my muscle spasms are so bad that I haven't gained too much weight - takes a lot of calories to keep such big muscle groups so tight - but it is still a hateful way to live.
I also read a book called Women, Food, and God... how your approach to eating (regardless of your size - regardless of whether there is any outward evidence of your struggle with food) is a microcosm of how you view yourself, your life, and ultimately your view of God or the universe. I thought that was supremely interesting and very revealing. I eat while distracted (reading) or I eat in a hurry and leave, because I am terrified of being still.View Thread
My therapist uses developmental needs meeting strategy (dnmsinstitute.com) on me and it helps. Paja once called it DID on a leash.
I would take Paja's advice and tell your therapist about it.
It sounds to me like the memory is very strong within you. (lol that sounds like something from star wars). There may be a way to talk about it without personifying it. It may also become more diffuse over time as you talk about it and process it.
I'd also recommend trying something like EFT (emofree.com) ... that calms these things down for me in a hurry.View Thread
I have to question the wisdom and respectfulness of putting these ads (to the left of the page) on an SA board. I wonder if they are on the other mental health boards. I scrolled over to 'next ads' and got more of the same. To me they come across as insulting, disrespectful, insensitive. I know the moderators don't choose the ads but is there any way there can be some feedback provided to whoever does?
I'm assuming they are targeted - mental health ads on the mental health boards; probably baby ads on the parenting boards. I am objecting to the phrasing of the ads, for example the schizophrenia ad below. Are You Schizophrenic? Top 5 Schizophrenia Signs. What The Doctor Is Not Tellilng You View Thread
Thank you for trusting the board with what you're going through. Sometimes it can be hard even to write all those things and so I notice your courage in doing so.
Sometimes it really isn't safe to trust people - sometimes they are out to hurt you, sometimes they just don't have the skills or ability or availability to give what you need, and sometimes they just don't care. In that case it is wise to not share things like SA with them. In those cases, it is a sign of your maturity and wisdom, not just because you're 'broken' because of your past.
Now the thing you are faced with is finding a way to process and explore those feelings, because they are still there and still having an effect on you, like you said.
Can you be there for you? What I mean is, when you notice these feelings in you, how do you react? Do you shove them away, feel contempt or shame toward yourself, tell yourself you shouldn't be feeling this way or that you're a burden on others? Or do you receive them with compassion and understanding? That has changed a lot of things for me, when I started doing that. I'm still not consistent but I do notice the difference when I treat myself like I would a friend, and not with the double standard I've been applying to myself all my life.
I got this in my email today and thought I'd share, as it seems relevant to what I just wrote:
Dear Lovely Girl,
Sometimes you are the only one on earth who knows exactly the battles that you have had to fight, the dragons you have had to slay, the muck you have had to walk through, the pain you have had to endure, the strength you have had to build, the wisdom you have had to earn. Sometimes you are the only one who knows the depth that is behind your own eyes.
For this reason, beautiful friend, it is so important that you give yourself the kind of respect that you would give to someone who has lived through all that you have lived through. It is so important that you are compassionate with yourself, that you are gentle with yourself, that you are patient with yourself. It is so important that you continue to remind yourself that you have made it through tough things and that you will continue to make it through things. It is so important that you give yourself credit for what you have learned so far instead of comparing yourself with others. It is so important that you cheer yourself on, instead of putting yourself through the ringer. It is so important that you are fair and kind with this sacred information that you have about yourself. No one, aside from our Creator, knows what we know about ourselves, and so we must be careful and responsible and a noble guardian over these things.
You are worth whatever it takes for you to be respectful, kind, patient and good to yourself. Listen to your heart, listen to your dreams, listen to the things that hurt and take care of them. No matter how much someone else loves you, they can not know what it means to BE you, and so you must do the work of BEing you, and taking care of you.
Take the time, dear friend. You are so important. Be good to YOU, so that you can be good to everyone you love, and good AT everything you love.