I am not necessarily "new" here. The first time I ever posted here was over 7 years ago. I still come back from time to time to check in on those of you who are still here. Who I am is completely irrelevant to this post, so I'll leave it alone for now.
My 'story' began over 20 years ago - and I have worked really hard for the past several years to get myself better. I am happier and stronger than I have ever been, but I am not beyond being triggered by something I hear or see...which is what brings me here today.
As ridiculous as this might seem, I watched a movie a couple nights ago that has left me unable to think of anything else. I want so badly to go back and "unsee" it...or at the very least, figure out how to get it out of my head. The movie was Straw Dogs - not sure if any of you have seen it, but if not, I wouldn't recommend watching it. I have never seen anything like it - and had I known it contained a particularly detailed, intense rape scene, I would have avoided it entirely. Never have I seen something like it - something so realistic - something I could so closely relate to. It brought back so many feelings I thought I would never feel again. Every time I close my eyes or have a quiet moment, those pictures are in my head - the ones I thought I had erased. I keep having the same dreams - the ones I thought I wouldn't have anymore. It's like reopening a wound that has long ago healed...
So, without going into too much detail, I suppose I just needed to somehow share this with someone else. I could share with my husband, but I prefer not to lay all this on him. He has dealt with enough over the past several years and I don't feel like it is fair for me to interfere with his happiness just for the sake of getting this off my chest. So, how DO you make it stop? How DO you "unsee" it?
I don't know...I guess I just needed to vent...of course, any advice is greatly appreciated...?View Thread
That's a new one...nobody has ever suggested anything like this before. However, it sounds like it just might work. I mean, I might gain a few pounds, but ANYTHING beats these pictures in my head! I can usually handle movies with slight sexual violence - but that one was just so realistic - the way she reacted to it and the way they just left her there when they were done with her - it was just so REAL to me. See...here I go again...
Thank you for the suggestion - I mean, seriously, thank you. That you took the time to respond means the world to me! ;o)View Thread
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