Has it really been a year since you left? Whereever you may be, I give thanks for having been blessed to have known you the short while, you were in my life. Whereever your journey has led, I hope you have found Love, Laughter and adventure. Whenever I watch Winnie the Pooh, I still think of you.
The short take: After 45 years of hell, I was on the verge of giving in and giving up life. Alone and no longer wanting to exist, my "T" mentioned these boards to me as a place where I may be able to reach out to others, safely. It was difficult, but overtime, In doing so, I connected with a wonderful, loving group of people here. They gave me hope, strength, faith, love, compassion and a reason to continue to fight to live. I was no longer alone. There were others here struggling, suffering, that understood. I began to care about each and everyone here and more so, even about myself. I came here with no expectations and have been deeply blessed ever since.
I have decided that not just "these" boards... but all online "chats" be it FB, Twitter, etc are not healthy for me.
Now that I am not disassociating so much and having to feel whatever the heck these emotions are... I find I am spiraling out of control. To top it off... the same life crap keeps getting thrown at me from systems, society, etc... I just don't think I can take much more.
I'm not leaving these boards because of anyone person or persons. I'm leaving for my own sanity and peace of mind, which is already fragile.
I just want to wish you all well and pray that God walks with you in your journeys. Please know you are loved.
Because I love the people here, I find it difficult to fully break away.
I just do not understand the drama. I know the past is gone, but I long for the days when our "family" here didn't engage in such conflict. (sigh)
This was a safe haven for me. I had no one in my life and you all accepted me here, made me feel as if I belonged somewhere and was wanted somewhere by someone... I felt understood. Now, I'm just feeling lost again. Sad again by all of this. As you said, Slik_Kitty, I'm tired of the drama here when that is all that surrounds me in my offline reality... Is no where to be a safe haven for wounded souls to gather and support each other?