You are not alone. There are a lot of people who feel the same way.
I flew 4 times in a few weeks recently, and was patted down twice. Both times the ladies were extremely professional and I was almost surprised not to be triggered. I kept expecting it to bother me and it didn't happen.
One thing you can do is the thing I just found out about with the acupressure - I just posted it above. For me that works best. Who knows, by the time you have to fly, it may not even be an issue at all!
Other things are practicing breathing for 15 minutes a day until you have to go there. Practice grounding techniques - list all the ways this is different than what happened to you; list all the control you have now. Practice self soothing imagery. Practice several times a day until you go - so that when you need it in a high-stress situation, it is easier to use.View Thread
Wow, I can only imagine just how much this hurts and how many memories and feelings it brings back.
If you haven't already, can you talk to a counselor or rape crisis center? I have found that, in my own life, I deal with something and think it's 'done' and some time later, it can come back up again. It doesn't mean I haven't dealt with it, it just means that it affects me in the new situation/time period as well, in a different way. Like if you injured your leg, and find out it hurts when you run, and you deal with that; then later you try ballet and you find you have trouble with some poses because of the leg as well. You had healed it for running as best you could but now, you are faced with a different situation. Or in your case, your leg was healing and then someone hit you in it by bringing up the memory, and now you have to heal from that too.
All that is to say, it is indeed a big deal, and the more support you can gather around you (like you're doing by coming on to the board), the better.
I am really sorry this happened to you. You did not deserve it and do not deserve all this fallout and drama.
Caleb is sick and in need of so much help that I hope he gets from somewhere... and I hope it's from someone who is not like me, because the help I would give him would include kicking his teeth out.
It was good advice you receive to exile him from your life. Please do that.View Thread
Go to rainn.org (Rape, Abuse, Incest National Network) and you can chat 24/7 with someone about all your questions.
First, you don't have to feel bad about doing something you didn't know about. You had no idea she had this history or (I assume) you would not have acted that way.
Second, she needs counseling. It is hard if not impossible to heal by yourself, especially from something that is as traumatic as rape. That being said, you can't make someone go.
Third, you are a secondary survivor - a loved one of someone who has survived rape. There are many resources out there for you. Ask the rainn.org chat person (or call them) what's around in your area?View Thread
You don't have to feel any particular way. It's weird when society kinda expects you to care since it's your dad... you feel like you 'should' care. But, you really don't. No explanations and no apologies. If he wanted a close and 'normal' relationship with you, he shouldn't have been abusive.View Thread
1. This weekend, I'm working tomorrow morning, then coming home and changing into comfy clothes, and listening to "The Help" on Audiobook for the second time (AMAZING book; loved listening to it; apparently it's easier to hear than to read because portions are written in dialect). I will drink a glass or two of wine and sit in the yard and relax...
2. I love to read. I read off audible.com mostly, and I just finished the "The Lightning Thief" series. Interesting and fantastical enough to be absorbing while light enough to not trigger anything.
3. Nope, I like to either listen to books or hold them in my hand. Though if someone bought me one, I'm sure I wouldn't give it back!
4. I don't know if I have a genre. I know I DON'T read horror or other triggery ones anymore.
5. The Phantom (of the Opera), anything with dragons, anything by Stephen King (and I still like his non-horror ones).View Thread
I did this today for the first time. It was led by a couple and we did it in a group of 6 people.
I can't begin to tell you how amazing it was. Since I can remember, I've been nearly paralyzed with dread when the seasons change and the days start getting shorter - reminds me of when I was younger and lived with the evil stepmom during the school year, and how much I dreaded going home after school. I did the tapping for the sense of dread, the lack of safety, the fear of taking up space... the whole thing took like 10 minutes. And I drove home today and the sun began to set AND I DIDN'T NOTICE. I only later noticed that I hadn't noticed. And I have NO emotional attachment left to the sun setting. It's just an event, like lunchtime.
emofree.com is the guy's site. There are videos and articles and you can do it right there from home. Or you can find a therapist who does it. I did it in a group and I really benefited from having the others there and talking through things... though I did some more tapping in the car on the way home on some other thoughts that came up and it worked too.
I am very much not into tapping, new age, or anything that even smells 'weird'. Or, I wasn't, until I did this EFT thing this afternoon. It works! You are touching acupressure points while focusing on a painful/undesired emotion and combining it with an affirmation (as simple as, "Even though I dread the transition from day to night, I am ok"); it's like hitting the reset button on a computer.
I can't say enough about it. I seriously urge everyone to take advantage of it, like, yesterday. I wish I had done this sooner!!!View Thread
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