I think we are having a casual family night...making tinfoil dinners I believe and hopefully seeing works. I love fireworks...have since I was little. Hmm...I think we need to have s'mores too...yummy, gooey deliciousness!View Thread
The tests were several hours back. They were a little rough. I was more exposed this time than I have been with similar exams in the past, but thankfully both the dr and tech doing the exams were female. It took about an hour. I ended up just zoning out as much as I could until it was over and have kept pretty busy since then- shopping, dinner with friends and whatever else I could think of to keep my mind occupied.
But now as I sit at the airport waiting for my friends flight to arrive, I'm crashing. I just want to curl up in a little ball and cry myself to sleep. Instead I'm going to keep myself busy here for a while. Feel free to read or to read.
The friends I met up with for dinner- we worked at a girls camp together a long time ago. They are a lot of fun. They live within 20 minutes of each other so they see one another fairly frequently. I typically only make it down 1-3 times a year.
I wish I could talk with them about what is going on with me. Way back when I could have.
I hate that I am in this spot again. I'm working on stuff in therapy that I've never been able to touch before...and I'm making progress with it. The problem...the body memories and self harm urges are back, along with the struggles to remain present. I hate this place. And the cluster of migraines that I'm stuck in at the moment aren't helping.
I have several doctor appointments again in the next two weeks- trying to get other health issues taken care of. I'm nervous about some tests tomorrow where I'll have to partially disrobe. Likely to be a bit triggering. The problem is that it is an hour and a half drive each way and I'm struggling to remain present when I'm triggered right now. Although I don't have anyone going down with me, I am meeting up with some friends afterwards and will have someone riding back with me. I think on the way down....I'll probably get something sour to chew on to help me stay present and...I guess hope for the best.
I didn't get much sleep last night either, but hopefully tonight. I have an appointment with my doctor tomorrow to discuss medication changes. I meet with my therapist shortly after that. And then with my cardiologist on Friday to make sure everything is still good there. Hopefully we can get a good plan in place by week's end.View Thread
Summer is going to be a little crazy for me, but I'm going to try to spend as much time as I can outdoors...and definitely spend time hiking in the mountains and resting near the mountain lake.
When I was younger, we used to get together with all of the neighborhood kids and play night games in our yard and my great aunt's yard just next door. We would play for hours. It was always a lot of fun.View Thread
I'm really struggling right now. I've had a number of health issues that have come up this past year- most of which were under control. Unfortunately, with the combo of all of the treatments and medications, my psych meds are now out of whack and the depression is rearing its ugly head and a few of the other health issues are now flaring up- and I am really struggling. I had one doctors appointment last week, 2-3 more this week and hopefully one with my cardiologist in the next week or two. Hopefully some kind of battle plan can be worked out soon before I completely fall apart.
Work was horrid today- it was seriously three bad Mondays all rolled into one and now I'm starting 10 steps behind tomorrow with a similar day as today quite likely. I made it through, though- mostly. Then I came home to absolute chaos. I'm seriously barely hanging on right now. I'm going to take my strong sleeping meds tonight so I can hopefully get a few hours of goods sleep without all of the nasty dreams that are back again, so I can try to survive another day...or not- really don't care much at the moment.