I must say that I followed your suggestion and bought the book by Terri Warren. I have started reading it and find it to be very informative and encouraging so far. Thank you very much for the suggestion and encouragement.View Thread
You are very welcome. Like many people have said to me on here, after you have decided on what to do and have done it, please come back and let me know what happened. Remember that we are here to help.View Thread
I know the feeling of getting that diagnoses, I have also just recently gotten mine a couple of months ago. But, you are still you. I know you do not want to be judged but you do not have to tell your family or friends, just the partner you are with. That is the person who will decide on whether or not they love you enough to deal with this with you. You are always worthy of love and being taken care of so never question that. Also, do not blame the guy you are with until he gets his test done and get a result back. He might not have known he had herpes and then you would be wrongfully condemning him. After he has done his tests, you two need to sit down and have a conversation about what you will need to do from that point on. Don't give up on yourself or him now. Trust that things will work out for you and that love will stay in your life. Come back on here so we can continue to help you with this. And please, do not think you are less than you were the day before you found out your diagnosis.View Thread
Hello there, I am not going through menopause as yet but I do know that many women that I work with and my mother speak of vaginal dryness on a regular. It is very good to start sex with a very good lube, preferably water based lubricants if you are sensitive. Some other lubricants might cause yeast infections. Also, it is good to start with foreplay before sex. This will get the body prepared for sexual intercouse more naturally. Adding the lubricant keeps the body moist because during sex there is a lot of friction that can cause you to get dry. If you are not well lubricated, then there will be no fluid to release. So, lubricate well, lubricate often, and make sure that foreplay is apart of every sexual act.View Thread
The first thing to do is breathe. It might sound silly but you muct realize that if you do have hsv 1 or 2, going balistic over it will not solve anything. You also must realize that this is not a life-threatening situation where you are going to die or your partner is going to die. If you learn to breathe and put things into perspective with this virus, then you will soon realize that it is not as bad as it seems. There is a stigma attached to every sexually transmitted disease and you need to realize that you are stigmatizing yourself by being so worked up. It will not help your situation one bit. I know this is easier said than done, especially in the beginning but you have to try. Go to your doctor and get a hsv test done. This should be your second step because if you do not know for sure what you have you can be over-reacting for nothing. Then, if your results are positive, get your partner to take a test. Do not approach the situation as if you are a criminal who have committed a crime, and do not accuse him of anything. Simply let him know how you are feeling, tell him about your test, and if he really love you then you both can work on dealing with the virus. He might not even have known he had it. I just had to tell my partner about having hsv 1 and 2 and that was not easy to do. But, instead of looking at myself like a victim and feeling disgusted, I empowered myself by realizing that I deserve love no matter what, and this is not something that should ruin my life. He told me we would work on dealing with the virus and that he loved me no matter what. You are doing your hands a grave disservice by allowing this OCD to overpower you to the point of putting yourself in worst danger. I seriously do not think you might have gotten anything from the chili you ate or from the fare. Even though viruses might survive on surfaces for awhile, I don't believe that is how you caught your cold sore. Your cracked, dry hands, however, can become a breeding ground for germs that might be worst that what you think you have. My sister used to use sanitizers and antibacterial soaps on everything until she became so sick and was told she had suppressed her immune system by not allowing it to become exposed to normal germs. She had to stop being so scared of what might be and simply accept that not all germs are bad. Please stop working yourself up until you have gotten tested. And, please return and let me know what the result was. There are many readable material on here that will help you learn about the herpes virus if you do have it. They will also tell you about relationships and herpes, and how to tell your significant other. Remember there are many people here to help you through this. And, DO NOT FORGET TO BREATHE.View Thread
Thank you very much for this information. I did click on your tiger and it is amazing that after 30 years your wife is still without herpes. This gives me hope that I might have the opportunity to have a long and fulfilling relationship with my partner without getting him infected. Also, the time it took you to have an outbreak makes me feel a little better about the person that infected me. They might not have known and so I cannot dislike them for giving something to me that they didn't even know they had in the first place. The two men I was with before were both long-term relationships and I was never treated unkindly or abusively. They do both know about the virus I have and have been kind about it also. Therefore, I hope that I can give others good advice about how they feel about themselves and the person they are with now, and that might have infected them. We are human beings first, with goodness and love in us and not everyone is out to hurt or leave you if you are not perfect. Thank you very much for all your input.View Thread
Thank you very much, this does help. It is very overwhelming at times to think about making love and making sure the person you love is protected. I have asked about suppressive therapy but my doctor does not think I need it at the moment. She says I am not having outbreaks and if I should start to have them frequently then we can do the pills. I will also get that book you spoke about.View Thread
I recently found out that I have hsv 1 and 2. After ending my relationship of 5 years, I had a test done and found out I was infected with the virus. Six months ago I met a man that I fell madly in love with and he with me. We both decided to have tests done and because of my result my news to him was not all happy. After a few days of pondering and posting on here, I decided that the best approach was a direct approach because he is away in Afghanistan and planning on coming home to the States to visit me for 6 months. I did not want him to come home and not know everything about me that mattered and so I told him what my results were and waited for him to say something nasty or insulting but all he said was that he loved me and will always love me. He told me he will help me to deal with what is going on and that we will be find and that I should not worry. Just tell him in a conversation and do not make it seem as if something is wrong. Approach him directly and ask to speak with him, do not act as if it is extremely important. Speak without self loathing or fear. It might be good to have some factual information ready just incase he asks any questions. I believe that love can overcome many things and so far I am happy I told my boyfriend.View Thread
Can anyone tell me how to have satisfying sexual relations with my partner? We have been together for the past 6 months, he knows I have hsv 1 and 2, but have decided to stay with me and love to no matter what. Eventually, we want to have children and so I guess my real question has more to do with having a child than anything else. Are there any sexual contacts that should be avoided? Can hsv prevent you from conceiving easily? Help with these questions please, I am just really unsure of things right now.View Thread
I told my friend about the hsv that I have. At first I was very worried about what he would think and say but I decided to not let my emotions get the better of me. I was straight forward and started out by telling him the results of my blood test. I told him exactly what hsv was and before I finish explaining everything to him he told me that he loved me and that we will deal with it together. He assured me that I should not worry that he would not want to be with me because he loved me that much. I could not have asked for a better person to come into my life. Right now I am very happy.View Thread
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