I found out in 2007 that I had hsv2. I was devistated and really I still am. I'm very shy and quiet and I am totally lost over this. I think to myself sometimes that its not that bad, but then I can't move forward because I feel that no one will ever want to be with me. I confided in my sister after I found out. She was the only other person (besides my boyfriend) that I could talk to. When I first found out I was seeing someone. When I told him I got tested and it was positive he was mad. He said some mean things but we stayed together. He never got tested and since we stayed together and it didnt seem to matter if he had it and there is no real way to tell who had it first, I didnt care. We were on and off for the next couple years, but in 2009 we were done. I think I wanted to stay together longer because I was afraid of meeting someone new and would have to tell him. So for the last 3 years I have been totally alone. I'm a single mom of two wonderful boys and hate that I have closed myself off to everyone. My childrens dad has been out of the picture for the last 10 years and my kids really deserve a father figure in their life. Since I am so afraid of opening up I feel like I'm cheating them out of having a dad. I want to meet someone that will accept me. I am a great lady, smart and caring and hate that I'm wasting my life away alone. The only thing that keeps me going is my kids. I keep my head up and hide my pain. Recently, I finally brought myself to tell someone (a man) that I really cared about who I fell in love with. We weren't in a relationship but we were getting really close. I have known him for several years and this last year we both told each other that we care about one another and wanted to see where things would go. We were making plans to spend the weekend togther and I decided it was time to tell him. It was his choice to move fwd with me. I hoped for the best. At first he said how much more he respected me for telling him and opening up and that it didn't change the way he felt. We ended the night on a good note, or so I thought. Over the next week I realized that he wasnt ok with me. Sadly I haven't heard from him since. This just happened a couple weeks ago. I'm truely crushed and feel stupid for believing that I could open up to him. I thought I meant more to him and feel a little betrayed by his lack of being there for me and talking to me. So, now I'm back to where I started and this makes me feel like no one will accept me. I know this is an ear full! I just haven't been able to express myself until now. Any feedback would be great. Thank you!View Thread
Thank you so much for your reply libra. It really means a lot to me. I'm happy that my story helped you too. It took a lot for me to sign up and post but I'm so tired of hiding and being totally alone. I needed to express myself and really needed to talk to someone that understands what I am going through. Not that I wish this upon anyone, but it helps to know that I'm not alone. I hope that your new bf sticks around. He should appreciate your honesty and realize that you are not selfish and you have a heart. I wish my friend would have stayed true to his words and gave me a chance after I opened up to him. This isn't the worst thing in the world. It's not going to kill you. Yes, some have worse symptoms than others, but some never have any. I was diagnosed over 5 years ago, I still have not had an outbreak, or any other problems. I just think that those of us who know we have it and are honest about it are worth keeping!View Thread
Thank you abe648 for your response. I know I need to open up and talk about it with people that know what I am going through and can help me move forward. I'm just so shy and embarrased about it so I haven't gotten the nerve to talk to anyone face to face. I really hate that I know this isn't the end of the world and it's not the worst thing that could ever happen to someone but the stigma out there and the way people joke about how gross it is makes it hard to talk about. Hopefully I can get myself to join a support group. I really want to learn how to deal with hsv2. Thank you again.View Thread
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