If I am honest, I don't really know were to start.. my emotions and head is pretty much everywhere. Basically, about 6months ago I came out of a long term relationship due to it not working out for a number of reasons.. so been in my final year of uni I wanted to experience what its like to be single and have some fun.
I had been going on nights out, having a good time.. engaging in sexual activites a few times.. but on the last occasion (nearly 3 weeks ago) the condom split during intercourse, tbh I wasn't really worried as I am on the pill... and I guess I am kind of niave as I never at the time even thought about the risk of contracting an std.
Anyway 3 days later I started to notice a small painful lump near the opening on the vagina, it was really painful... so I went to the gum clinic for testing and was told to retturn a week later for results. Over that week more lumps appeared, the whole area became swollen, along with the anal region aswell, and currently I am unable to bare going to the toilet.
I went back to the gum clinic2 days ago and found out I am infected with hsv1 and chlymidia. When I found out I can't explain the pain it caused me.. from that one unfortunate time I end up with 2 stds.. The chlymidia has gone now, but herpes I will be left with for the rest of my life. I have had these vaginal sores for 2 weeks now, I can't even explain the pain I am in, and I am to aashamed to tell anyone. I don't even know how to move on in my life. I can't go to uni, placement or work because the vaginal area becomes painful when I walk. Furthermore, I need to tell my mum, but how can I, she will be so ashamed of me, just like everyone else would be. I mean who would want to date me now, if I told any of the guys I like that I have herpes they would run for the hills.. so I have come tobthe conclusion that I will be alone for a while, but I guess its my own fault for sleeping with a goodlooking guy from a bar.
Well id love to hear from anyone who wants to talk, I really could do with some support. Thanks for reading.View Thread
Oh.. they haven't offered me any freezing I wish they would as the pain is unbearable at times.
Last night was the first night that I didn't cry myself to sleep and I feel that alcohol helps a lot when trying to deal with things!
Can you not tell a family member, I really think you need to or this virus is going to slowly destroy you. If that isn't possible you must talk to a counsellor whether it be face to face or over the phone.
Good luck with your life, honestly your not alone, loads of people have herpes, its not a big deal, its just annoying. Least you haven't got anything worse. Stay positive, if you need to talk you know where I am.View Thread
I think the biggest issues with hpv is that people are always going to judge you, I mean if I didn't have hpv I wouldnt get with someone that did. But now I have learnt a lot about the virus I would be more accepting of it if I didn't have hpv.
Tbh I don't feel that I have had time to let it register that I do have hpv, because I am still trying to deal with the pain from the outbreak. But I don't feel that hurt by the virus, what hurts me is the pain assosiated with the outbreaks and having to tell someone. But I have told my best friend which I feel took a lot of the stress away, tbh though she was there when I found out, so I kind of had to tell her, but I am glad I did.. as she hasn't judged me.. well atleast not that I know of.
Can I just ask which hpv strain you have, and have you found any ways of effectively dealing with the pain?
I am glad I have been able to help you, I feel happy that I have been able to meet someone who knows where I am coming from View Thread
Hi, I'm really sorry to hear what you have been through, I know exactly how you feel as I was just diagnosed with hpv1 a few days ago..I generally feel the same as you, on one hand I can't face telling anyone.. but my heart tells me that I need to, I guess i am just to scared of their reactions. Have you told anyone yet??
As for relationships, I can't even face that,. I will never tell anyone I sleep with that I have herpes it is just to shameful.. iam just avoiding the whole getting close to anyone. But being only 20yrs old and at uni, men are always coming onto me in clubs.. so its really uncomfortable as in my head I am always thinking of what could happen.. and know that its even a risk if I kiss them.
I wish I could give you some advise, but I am sorry I can't, but if you need someone to talk to then I can do that. Good luck with everything. View Thread