My partner and I have been together for 4 1/2 years and just before we met I found out I had herpes I told him pretty much straight away before any sexual contact whatsoever and he decided that he was going to have a relationship with me anyway. I did my best to make sure he knew that was his choice not to use condoms.
I haven't had any outbreaks since I was diagnosed and about a month ago he started complaining about itchiness and a blister on his penis but would not go to the doctor! In the end I ended up getting some antiviral medication and giving it to him and it cleared up. He was pretty annoyed about it all but eventually conceded that he knew the risk he was taking with having unprotected sex with me and that he could n't really take it out on me however, if we have sex now - about a week later he gets the symptoms again but still will not go to the doctor! This has happened about 4 times now and it has got to the point where he doesn't want to have sex because he's worried the symptoms will come back. He is not at all keen on using condoms either.
Needless to say this is having a pretty traumatic affect on our relationship and I am feeling like absolute crap - we love each other very much but trying to talk about it rationally with him is bordering on impossible. How on earth can I convince the man to get to the dr and get it all checked out AND to use condoms???? I realise sex isn't the be all and end all of a relationship but when you've had a fantastic sex life for so long and then it all ends..... its pretty devastating.
I'm sure there are quite a few people out there who have experienced a similar situation and I'd appreciate your comments View Thread
Thanks for your reply It certainly isn't easy trying to convince the man to talk about this with his doctor, however I will ask him again to get checked out at his next appointment this week.
I did have a wee meltdown last week as I was starting to feel that he had just gone off me altogether in the intimacy side of things because he made a stupid comment that he wasn't really too impressed with getting a "scabby penis" each time he has sex with me! Well who on earth is impressed with having herpes?? I told him that if we can't have a proper loving relationship then we may as well end it all as I'm just not prepared to go through this nonsense for any longer.
He must have felt bad for the comment as the following night he was back to his usual loving self!
Anyway, I will keep gently prodding him to get properly checked out so that we are sure of what we are dealing with.