Yes, herpes outbreaks can be miserable (primary or otherwise).
A blood test taken three months after a possible exposure can check for antibodies specific to herpes.
Yes, as I stated, there are cases of certain cancers connected with HPV. Not just cervical cancer. Anal cancer in both males and females who engage in anal intercourse and oral cancer in those who become infected orally with this virus.
The Pap smear in itself does not check for the HPV, only for changes to cells on the surface of the cervix. Some gynecologists automatically include HPV testing along with this. Your wife can ask.
In many cases the immune system will clear the body of HPV. So while it isn't "curable" in the sense there is medication to get rid of it, often times the immune system will take care of the issue by itself.
"It is possible to have herpes primary symptoms after 10 weeks post exposure".
"Which is more dangerous HPV or herpes?"
Dangerous in what way? Herpes won't kill you but outbreaks can sure make you feel miserable. Depending on where HPV is can increase the risk of certain types of cancers in SOME cases (i.e., anal or oral carcinoma).
For what it's worth, herpes lesions don't "pop". I have no idea why the head of your penis is irritated. You did use a condom during your sexual encounter with this partner so that important body part was covered during the sexual event.
However, keep in mind that most adults already carry this virus (having picked it up in childhood) so unless you have an actual outbreak, it is difficult to say when you were infected...and where (orally or on your genitals).