Hello, I've had genital herpes for over 3 years now and I guarantee you this: LIFE IS NOT OVER. When I found out I was devastated. Like you my boyfriend told me he was clean. He turned it around on me and accused me of being a slut. Just know that it isn't your fault and you have nothing to be ashamed of. To be honest, it might not even be his fault, I'm saying this because I learned that most clinics don't test for herpes when there are no obvious signs. It is scary and sad, but true. He may have been tested for the basic STDs like chlamydia and gonorrhea. I'm not defending this man, but sometimes the virus lives in your system and you have no knowledge of it. So while you are hurt, just try to forgive. As for how he is acting, he needs to grow up. If he cannot deal with this he shouldn't be having sex. I dated a man who knew I had it, but after I dumped him he told everyone I had it. (Don't think your ex will do the same, this was a sad, pitiful loser.) Now know that you will find a happy healthy relationship! There is someone out there (maybe more than one person too) who will see you as you are. YOU ARE NOT YOUR HERPES. You have herpes, but it doesn't make you any different. I have dated many wonderful men who realized that I'm not a walking STD. We even had (safe) amazing sex and loved each other. However I have met men who don't want to continue seeing me when they find out. It does have a stigma about it, but someone worth you and your time will educate themselves. I recommend that you don't worry about dating right now. Right now you can feel sad, that's normal. I recommend reading "The Good News about the bad news." By Terri Warren. I hope that when you read that you will see that it isn't the end of the world/ or the end of having a worthwhile relationship. I'll be praying for you. And remember to smile, you sound like a loving trusting person, don't let this change you!View Thread
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