The important thing to me is the honesty of communications by both sides of a relationship and that there is a match-up in character and standards of conduct in sexual activity to support fidelity of commitments for the sake of each persons expectations. The ability to negotiate mutual loyalty and trust is paramount.View Thread
I'm curious to know how many "old virgins" exist in our society (besides myself). I wish I could say my condition was one of mature decision but unfortunately, it was more due to "dysfunctional family dynamics" that I experienced through childhood and attribute to a number of factors. I would like to be able to get past all these negative predilections for the sake of the limitations they seem to impose upon my personal development. It seems somewhat shameful that I still carry the emotional scars from so long ago. My endeavors into self-analysis, after failing to finish college in the early '70s, didn't improve matters much; I ended up getting involved in a small Christian fellowship (while I was in the Coast Guard) that eventually began resembling the Waco, Texas cult, though it had not "fallen off the deep end" nearly to their extent when the whole thing collapsed, after about fifteen years, due to misguided leadership (..."with the best intentions" as the saying goes). Unfortunately, my "military" and "religous" experiences at home did not contribute to building a healthy frame of mind either. As a result, I tend to resent that the concept of "Sin" was so deeply and manipulatively woven into my perceptions of acceptable conduct, self-esteem, and feelings of insecurity and guilt about most thoughts and hormonal compulsions that are intrinsic to human development. The sense of shame that was imposed upon me did not permit me express thoughts and feelings that I've learned too late in life were normal and natural; my repression of them only insured that I was not able to benefit by communication or human contact in experiences and opportunities to "be aware", learn, evaluate, understand, make self-determined decisions and mature in social dynamics or relationships. Though I am mentally aware of the concept that "it is never too late" it feels like it is now inappropriate (and futile) to go back and recover a life lost to bad parenting, misguided and unfortunate social/cultural experiences. It seems like it would be nice to experience sex before I die but at this age (61) and with only the experience of fantasies and pornography to serve as my mentors I consider it highly unlikely that I am in any (mental/emotional) state of proper preparedness to benefit by the experience. My hormonal stimulations still lead me toward thinking about young women (20's 30's) and at my age I feel that that is just unacceptable and inappropriate. I wish I could "grow-up" as I was so often chastized as a child. (Catch-22).View Thread
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