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The sense of shame that was imposed upon me did not permit me express thoughts and feelings that I've learned too late in life were normal and natural; my repression of them only insured that I was not able to benefit by communication or human contact in experiences and opportunities to "be aware", learn, evaluate, understand, make self-determined decisions and mature in social dynamics or relationships.
Though I am mentally aware of the concept that "it is never too late" it feels like it is now inappropriate (and futile) to go back and recover a life lost to bad parenting, misguided and unfortunate social/cultural experiences. It seems like it would be nice to experience sex before I die but at this age (61) and with only the experience of fantasies and pornography to serve as my mentors I consider it highly unlikely that I am in any (mental/emotional) state of proper preparedness to benefit by the experience. My hormonal stimulations still lead me toward thinking about young women (20's 30's) and at my age I feel that that is just unacceptable and inappropriate. I wish I could "grow-up" as I was so often chastized as a child. (Catch-22).View Thread
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