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Sexual issues Member To Member

Talk about sexual issues, like the old board

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Posted by Jeremy3456

0 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:test test

Reply: married with homosexual thoughts

No, I'm aware of the cheating aspect, too. From what I've gathered, men often didn't see...

Posted by Jeremy3456

43 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:married with homosexual thoughts No, I'm aware of the cheating aspect, too. From what I've gathered, men often didn't see...

Reply: married with homosexual thoughts

That's a great story! I too had a same-sex, kinky exploratory thing at age 12-13 and...

Posted by Jeremy3456

43 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:married with homosexual thoughts That's a great story! I too had a same-sex, kinky exploratory thing at age 12-13 and...

Reply: Tramp or Treasure? Need a man's input ;)

It's not BS at all, Rhonda. Sex is a different psychological act for men than it is for...

Posted by Jeremy3456

It's not BS at all, Rhonda. Sex is a different psychological act for men than it is for women, in many ways.

I would say 48 dates should take place before a woman has sex. Okay, I'm kidding! But I hope you see my point about sex on the first date. It would also seem that sex is more than just sex for a woman who wants to jump in the sack on the first date, like she is using it to make up for other problems or she is seeking reassurance too much, or she is afraid of being abandoned or something. The amazingness of the sex doesn't make up for that: the risk is still there and perceived by the man.

I suppose there are sub-cultures, places and age groups where one-night stands are common. It happens, and if that's your thing, then that's your thing. Many men will simply take what they can get, especially if they're young and in college. It's costly, tiresome and frustrating to keep hunting.

But in the course of "normal" relationships (whatever that means---"average" young adults I guess), I would say sex on the third or fourth date if you really hit it off. Possibly as late as the 6th or 7th. If one is seeking a serious or long-term relationship and sex has NOT occurred by about the 6th or 7th date, then I'd be suspicious of that too. Maybe the girl has other issues like fear of sex or intimacy, or is using religion as her neurosis or some other problem. And that's in the normal, average course of relationships. In some situations a "date" might mean a brief meeting or a lunch date because that's all you have time for, in which case you still need more time to get into the relationship.

A problem I've had in the past, and this might be a problem for you from the urgent tone of your post, is that one wants to cement the relationship or take it to the next level beyond casual dating, but there's the need to act quickly or else lose the other person because of travel, school, or whatever. So it's a gamble sometimes: the stages of the relationship are on course, but the timing may be a little rushed. You risk losing them if you make the next move and risk losing them if you don't. Yes, Rhonda, men have these problems and not just women!View Thread

Posted byJeremy3456

30 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:Tramp or Treasure? Need a man's input ;) It's not BS at all, Rhonda. Sex is a different psychological act for men than it is for...

Reply: Sex-drive Missing All Together?

If his sex drive is low, then you initiating sex out of the blue will probably not help....

Posted by Jeremy3456

If his sex drive is low, then you initiating sex out of the blue will probably not help.

It's hard to say what his issue might be. It could be low testosterone but this is unlikely given his age. I don't know, but it could be that he has a mental 'script' of how sex should be and how it should go. For him to deviate from that would make him feel awkward or ashamed, or at a loss for what exactly to do.

I suggest that in a non-sexual time and place, perhaps when you're out together in the car or something, mention that you would like more sexual variety in your life together. It might help to say that you don't even know what other sexual acts or positions or scenarios you would want, but you just want some new things. You could then try an exercise that I've found to be thrilling: each of you write down a list of sexual activities, scenarios, etc. that you fantasize about or are curious about, then agree to later share your lists with each other. The rules should be that it doesn't mean you'd have to act them out with each other (but if you both have a common fantasy, well then there should be sparks). And no negative judgements allowed. You could even rate each others' items on a scale of desirability. A variation of that is to watch pornography regularly together (or separately, and compare notes). Just seeing others doing sexual things----any thing sexually----increases the libido in many people. It sounds like he might be inhibited and needs help to get un-inhibited with you. There are times when I've engaged in conventional sex while thinking of something else totally kinky. Giving him "permission" to be kinky, or out-of-'script' if you will, could be a big relief for him. I've discussed kinky sexual fantasies with a partner and just talking about them can be hugely arousing. It was a reassurance to my partner to see me aroused; she then knew my sometimes lack of desire wasn't because of her.

And I applaud you for being sensitive to his feelings and his pride. He has self-esteem too and being sexually rejected for non-performance is an esteem-killer. Men have to 'perform' more in sex than women do. Who knows, maybe he has fantasies of being passive and being dominated!

And there's nothing wrong with asking him to help you masturbate with a dildo or something, even if he doesn't get sexually aroused.

And your "other issue" of you resenting him for wanting you to be sexually ready whenever he (finally) is, could be the issue. Maybe you two should plan and set aside times for sex. The more you do it the easier it comes. And to take the pressure off, perhaps make these times just mutual nudity and/or pornography times where sex is optional. Less scripting, more spontaneity. It might help to make things so that one of you can be sexual (i.e., masturbation) while the other is not, without demands or guilt.View Thread

Posted byJeremy3456

2 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:Sex-drive Missing All Together? If his sex drive is low, then you initiating sex out of the blue will probably not help....

Reply: Massage therapist appears to want to masturbate me

I don't know if your post is genuine or you're just posting this to get off. I know in...

Posted by Jeremy3456

10 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:Massage therapist appears to want to masturbate me I don't know if your post is genuine or you're just posting this to get off. I know in...

Reply: Tramp or Treasure? Need a man's input ;)

I would feel that she is too much of a risk to enter into a sincere or potentially...

Posted by Jeremy3456

30 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:Tramp or Treasure? Need a man's input ;) I would feel that she is too much of a risk to enter into a sincere or potentially...

Reply: Unable to Connect With a Partner

I don't know, but maybe you're trying too hard. Or maybe you're doing all the "right"...

Posted by Jeremy3456

139 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:Unable to Connect With a Partner I don't know, but maybe you're trying too hard. Or maybe you're doing all the "right"...

Reply: Bf with no sex drive....help please

He should see a doctor if he thinks there's a problem. If he doesn't think there's any...

Posted by Jeremy3456

6 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:Bf with no sex drive....help please He should see a doctor if he thinks there's a problem. If he doesn't think there's any...

Reply: married with homosexual thoughts

One more point in my very long reply here: If your wife is understanding and okay with...

Posted by Jeremy3456

43 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:married with homosexual thoughts One more point in my very long reply here: If your wife is understanding and okay with...

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