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So what is your story? What circumstances, life obstacles brought you where you are at?
Well Ill make this short lol Im 22 now, been on my own since I was 19years old. I was with my bf of 4 years, been through everything, and of course had our daughter. DB was in and out of jail from the start of our relationship, but life was just too complicated for him to handle..He was in and out of jail a total of 4 times now, he even missed the birth of our daughter. The fourth time came this past Feb(which seems like so long ago now) he got arrested again, and just got sentenced in June to prison for technically 8years, but will most likely be 5 1/2 to 6 years. It was quite a shock, and Im still coming to terms with it and all aspects..including I really am going to be a single parent to our daughter. Im scared because I want to give her the world, and everyday there is something in the way I must fight through.
You see DB may sound like a bad person, but there was more to our relationship than what seemed. He really was a good daddy when he was around and I miss him like crazy. I feel for him missing out on his daughters life, and I feel for my baby, not going to know her daddy.
So anyway thats my short story, I really did not anticipate any of this for me or my daughter, but this is where life has taken me. I wake up everyday, get baby girl to daycare get myself to work all day and then again at the end of the day. I do things I dont want to do, I cry, I scream sometimes, I get lonely, frustrated, but after all of that I remind myself Im not doing any of this for me, Im doing it for her. I cannot fall weak, i cannot say "I cant" Im tired I give up" when I know Im going to go to bed pray that same prayer and wake up and do it all over again. To show my daughter, anything is possible. You are your own worst enemy, I find my strength through God. This is by far one of the most difficult things I have ever had to do and it doesnt get any easier does it...well maybe when they are out of the house...lol I dunno....sorry this got way long....View Thread

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Dear God, she seems to bear the weight of the world on her shoulders, but to carry it more lightly than I think I would. I see her balancing work and home, money and no money, friends who no longer make time to see her, and I send up a prayer for her.
Her old friends have moved on with their lives, and in truth, she doesn't have much in common with them anymore. She is lonely, loving God. She would like company but doesn't want to make time for new relationships because her waking hours are already full: she is a mother. She walks when gas is too expensive for the car and forgoes new clothes so her child can have shoes.
This is not how her life started out, but circumstances changed from her life of privilege to this life she embraces so fully. Her life is difficult and she seems so tired much of the time, but I am inspired by the love she has for her child.
Give her the strength to put in long hours each day; the courage to face those who dismiss her with blaming and knowing nods; the ability to maintain her loving life at home; and the deepest knowledge in her heart that you love her.View Thread

So why was it hell for you if you dont mind me asking?? I would have to say there have been plenty of times where I wanted to pull my hair out, I didnt understand why I was left to do this all by myself, but this little girl I wake up for everyday reminds me she needs me as much I need her.View Thread

You are doing a wonderful job! Wow going to school and full time work. What are you going to school for? I someday hope to go back to start nursing school.
Dont feel bad about your house there are days I dont do anything after coming home from work and everything else. The mess will always be there, but if only it could clean itself! lol
Thats great your daughter is in those programs, I want to get her into something like that when shes a little older, but Im thinking more along the lines of martial arts and or a dance class. She is a very active beautiful girl so she should stay active and also know how to protect herself. :0View Thread

This is pretty much a pity party vent, so please dont mind me. I just need to get this out because Im too emotional today. So I had to take Celeste to daycare again today. I left my house at 7:10 and trying to time the buses and everything right was hard since this is my first morning doing it(yesterday my morning started late) Well I ended up walking all the way there, it took me 50 minutes! Im so upset because this is really early, Im trying to figure out which would be the best times to leave plus I feel terrible for bringing Celeste out this early. This is not her routine, its cold and I dont feel its fair to bring her out and walk a flippen hour to take her to daycare so I can work all day. Im not enjoying this one bit. Im thinking what if it rains one morning, luckily summer is coming up so it will be getting warmer much warmer in fact. This is AZ the infamous hot weather. Im tired of being late to work, granite this is only my 2nd day of doing this, Im already frustrated with this. I know there are people who are worse off but times like this I feel like Im constantly struggling no matter what I do. Seems as though life tends to be a little easier for others and I feel like Im doing something wrong. What am I doing wrong, when I feel like Im trying so hard yet struggling to stay on top?? Im doing my best for my little Celeste but she only deserves the best, I dont feel like Im giving her a good chance. Im torn. I was venting yesterday too I feel like Im being pulled in all these different directions all the while trying to just be me. Im not sure I even know who that is anymore, but Im still so thankful because you know what..looking at Celeste even thinking about gives me hope, hope for a better tomorrow. Im thankful its the weekend, but I know there are obstacles Im going to have to tackle tomorrow too, I just keep going because I have no other choice. Ugh...View Thread


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