Since your parents have taken on the responsibility of providing a home for your cousin, they are also in a position to provide her with guidelines she needs to follow to stay in the house.
Did your parents confront her about her overuse of medication and detrimental lifestyle habits? If they have set boundaries that are not being honored, they are within their rights to suggest she find another place to live. The bottom line is that your cousin is abusing prescription drugs and is in need of help; my suggestion is to contact an interventionist or an alcoholism counselor in your area for specific guidance.
Also, your family may benefit by attending Al-anon or Nar-anon meetings for family members who have loved ones that are abusing drugs and/or alcohol. http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/ http://www.nar-anon.org/naranon/ These support groups will put you in direct touch with people who have been in similar circumstances — people who can offer you guidance and support.
If the doctor providing the Robaxin does not know that your husband has been treated for addiction to opiates, he needs to be told.
There are non-addictive medications and other avenues for both anxiety and pain management that may be effective.
Has your husband personally reached out for help? I empathize with your desire to do everything you can, but he also needs to aggressively pursue help. I hope that by now he is at least on the waiting list to see a psychotherapist. I would also suggest 12 Step group support for both of you.View Thread
If your husband is indeed addicted to opiates, he needs to be treated by an addiction physician/psychiatrist who is specially trained in addiction and PTSD. The Veterans Administration should help you with finding the appropriate care.
In addition to medication, it seems that your husband could benefit from a psychotherapist that can address his anxiety and agoraphobia.
I understand that it is very difficult and painful for you to stand by feeling helpless, but you do not have to experience this pain alone. There is help available for you through Al-Anon , where you will find men and women who have had similar experiences.View Thread
You don't say that you're living together; however, if you are, I would strongly recommend you find a safe place for you and your children to go. I can empathize with you as you are in a difficult situation, and I hope you have a support system from friends and family.
Your first concern is to provide a safe, secure environment for the children; presently — due to your boyfriend's addiction — they are not safe when in his presence.
Your boyfriend has a disease he cannot control, and his heroin habit has become more important to him than his family. I would urge you to seek support from Nar-Anon , a worldwide fellowship for people whose lives are affected by someone else's addiction. Their website offers meeting information as well as literature. Also, if there are any treatment centers in your area, they may have a family program you could attend to gain insight on taking care of yourself.View Thread
Your husband has addressed one aspect of this complex disease by abstaining from alcohol.
However, alcoholism includes physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual facets, all of which need to be addressed. You are correct in saying that you cannot force your husband to attend AA meetings; this has to be his decision.
With your involvement in Al-Anon, your family environment will change - hopefully for the better. It seems that you are doing all the right things, especially by attending Al-Anon; I would encourage you to get a sponsor there, and keep the focus on yourself. View Thread
The disease of addiction is chronic, progressive and fatal. From what you've described, your father appears to be struggling in the middle to late stages of addiction. His behavior, i.e. growing marijuana (pot) in his backyard despite the fact that his grandchildren are in the home, is certainly a 'red flag.' You mentioned that your father attended a 28-day rehabilitation program; did he follow up with his aftercare recommendation? Most include encouragement to attend 90 AA meetings in 90 days (90/90), getting a sponsor and working the Steps of AA.
I would also strongly recommend that you and your mother - in fact, all family members affected by your father's behavior — attend Al-Anon.
Turning his money and his responsibility over to your mother is a short-term solution that not only makes her a codependent but will most likely not work in the long run. He will need to learn how to manage his own affairs; with the help of a strong, 12 Step-based recovery program, he can acquire the skills to follow through.
Your first responsibility is to protect/ care for your children so be firm with your boundaries.
Again, I encourage your family to begin and maintain your own recovery through Al-Anon.View Thread
Congratulations on getting yourself to Al-Anon, where you'll regularly be reminded that you didn't cause this (his addiction, his religious leanings and/or his recovery behind bars or when he's out,) you can't control it, and there is no cure for it.
You're right to note that people often, as a reaction to the messes they find themselves in, embrace religious systems which promise to answer all questions and solve all problems. What you described as your boyfriend's fundamentalist religious conversion may not sound like the AA way of life, but it is a very common form of jailhouse religiosity, and is often the only "spiritual" community available to prisoners. Hopefully, he is also able to attend 12 Step recovery meetings where he may encounter a more tolerant spirituality which recognizes that "we know only a little - God will constantly disclose more to you, and to us."
While you sound delighted with your boyfriend's newfound commitment to sobriety, your own recovery must come first. One Day At A Time...View Thread
Thank you for reaching out for help! First of all, you are not alone in this dilemma of drinking,...
Thank you for reaching out for help! First of all, you are not alone in this dilemma of drinking, even though you have a loving, supportive family. Many patients I see in treatment have loving families, manage to maintain their jobs and function quite well in the workplace; however, it is in their personal life that alcohol has become problematic. Your drinking is quite clearly causing you problems and embarrassment; wetting the bed and the couch is also common for problem drinkers.
Let me give you some hope and encouragement: alcoholism is a disease that is very treatable. Please be honest in asking yourself the following questions:
Do I drink when I've promised myself that I will not drink? Do I drink to escape my feelings? Do I participate in behaviors when under the influence that I'm ashamed of when sober? Do I choose partners that drink as 'drinking buddies'?
If you answered yes to any of the above, I would recommend that you attend an Alcoholics Anonymous [AA> meeting. I would also recommend this based on the progression of your drinking, e.g. buying wine and gorging yourself, bed wetting, experiencing shame and low self-esteem. You can call your local AA Central Office, find a meeting to attend, raise your hand and introduce yourself as a newcomer. You do not need to identify as an alcoholic; the only requirement is to have a desire to stop drinking. Try it for just one day.
Another thought is to find an addiction counselor, which you can do by calling your local treatment center for a referral.
Good luck in your recovery and remember you need never again feel such low-self-esteem.View Thread