Hi, first off i have to say that i've used kratom for many years but not daily until about 5 or 6 months ago. Before i used to make it as a tea and it was hard to drink, so i'd have the kratom leaf for a week, drink it once almost every day, run out of the leaf and then be able to go without it for many months at a time until i felt like i needed a natural 'lift' again, so this cycle would only occur once every few months, and definitely not addicted then but enjoyed it.
Then last August (It is now April) i found a local vendor and started buying the kratom crushed leaf/powder from him to try it out. It was easy to take (kindof), as i would just drop a tablespoon of the powder in my mouth, swallow it and then wait for the effects to take hold and it was nice for many hours. My tolerance seemed to stay the same for about 3 or 4 months, and at that point i wasnt taking it everyday but 4-5 times a week. I would look forward to it after a hard day of work, whereas i do manual labor everyday and it gets old, fast. So i started using kratom daily then, one dose in the morning to allow me to feel good and energized all day while at work, and then another when i came home whiched helped me relax as well as gave me energy to do my duties at home. I thought i found the perfect substance to use, and it was super easy to get. Then i noticed i was taking it a bunch on the weekends and sometimes 3 or 4 times a day and knew it was too much. And thats when i noticed i was taking more of it to achieve the same effects, and sometimes would hardly feel anything.
So now its 8 months later, and ive been without kratom for almost 2 days and its psychologically debilitating, and i took off of work today as im simply not feeling life at the moment. There have been times when i've been without it for a few days, and its the same thing. Except when i havent taken it for many days due to being on vacation, in that case i barely think about it or dont need it except suffer from pyschological w/d for the first day or two pretty badly everytime, but the fact that im not involved in my daily routine being on vacation keeps the w/d at bay and then it goes away after a day or two.
So yeh and one other thing - that my girfriend who i live and have been with for more than 2 years has no idea that i take it at all. She is one of the hardest working human beings i know and she needs nothing to elevate her, and i feel like i need to take kratom just to keep my energy up and to keep up with her, she works me pretty hard but at the same time she is super sweet and i love her dearly, but i cant tell her about this as i know she would be so upset and i know she doesnt want to be with anyone who is dependent on something like this. I need to kick it completely, although i wish i could just take it once in a while but it seems i cannot. we are all different and deal with everything differently, and this is the truth of how i am battling this. I am awaiting some in the mail today and simply cannot wait to take it in which i will try to set a regimen for myself and wane myself off of it as its becoming an issue and i dont know why i cannot enjoy life without a substance like so many human beings do everyday. I realize i need to substitute my life with other things - running and exercise, tai chi and chi gong (which i used to do daily), and meditation. Maybe even a community group to help me as well, but not sure. I only know that this is the hardest thing ive had to deal with without telling a soul about it, beside you guys. Would just love some support and stories about how maybe you came off of kratom and i respect everyones opinions. Thanks for reading!View Thread
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