Part 2 If you have just clicked on this discussion please be sure you read part 1 first. I love my sister very much but I also love my husband and would like to have another kid too. So I decided we could start trying thinking it could take a while and may not even happen given my family history. So yes you guessed it I got pg our 3rd try. Even though I am very grateful to not have to go through the pain that all you ladies do. I feel guilty and am scared to tell my sis my husbans want to tell people. I have convinced to wait until I am at least 3 mo. again due to our family history of mc. OK I lied the real reason is it is due to I do not want to hurt her and put her through that kind of pain until I know forsure this baby is going to stick. I just have this fear that it's my turn in our family history. I should be excited and I am but it is very bitter sweeet. Mostly I want my BF, I want to tell her as most people would confide in their BF with such a secrete as this. So what I am asking for is sensitive advice on how to handle this. When to tell? How to tell? And how to make my DH be sensitive and understan. I don't want to hurt her. I am crying as I write this and it is not just the hormones, she really is my best friend I just need her and obviously I can't go to her with this problem. Please help me. Can you please try to put yourselves in her shoes, as you can relate and tell me how you would want your BF and sis to tell you. I do not want to loose her as my BF let along my sis. If you need more info please ask any Q's I don't mind I just need real answers from understanding people.View Thread
Thank you so much for responding I was begining to think I made a bad move asking this board. I really appreciate your advice. I am sure she will be happy, but I know it will hurt too. Perhaps her clomid will help and she will get prego before I even have to tell her. At least thats what I'm hopping for.
My DH is not a sports fan but he very much likes analogies. I think that will help. ThanksView Thread
I need real sensitive advice from all those who have been TTC. Mostly from those who have tried for some time now. I mean no disrespect and certainly do not want to hurt any of you. Therefore, if you do not respond I understand. However, my problem is real and has to do with needing advice from you. My intentions in telling you this story is "not to say I know how you feel" but because I love my sister dearly and she does know how you feel. With that said this story may be long and need 2 parts, so please be sure to read both parts before responding. Backgroundon my whole family: I have 3 sisters we all have at least 2 kids. TTC difficulties seem to be in the family. My mom had 7 miscarriages, sister #1 had 1mc and has 3 kids, sister #2 had 5mc and has 2 kids, and sister #3 had 1mc and 1tubal and has 2 kids. I am the youngest#4 no brothers and have been blessed to not experience one yet. However, I can see their pain in their eyes and can only imagine what they are feeling. I do not know how they can handle this, they are very strong women as I know you all are too. I am not very close with #1 she is kinda a black sheep (in her own selfish world). I am very close with sister #3 and would say sister #2 is my best friend. Sister #1 would like to have another kid but has stopped trying after 3 years this is mostly due to her age pushing 39 now. Sister #3 is done and had her 1 tube tied/cut or whatever you can do with only1. Sister #2 my best friend is still trying. Background on Sister # 2: She had 1 mc after trying 1 year for 1st baby she was 8 wks then got pg with baby #1. 1 year later I had my 1st I don't want to say this next part but in order for you to understand I need to so please prepare yourself. I got pg our 1st try. So then sister #2 was ready to TTC after 1 year later she then had 3 more mc. and one was twins. I wanted to start trying again too but did not want to get pg before her for reasons I am sure you can relate to. Then she got pg with her 2nd and I felt relief we did not start trying just yet but were talking about it. And (again brace yourself I mean no disrespect and certainly am in no way trying to brag) I found out to my surprise I was pg with my 2nd. I was very grateful and we had alot of fun being pg together, especially since we are best friends. I had my 2nd DD 4 mo after she had her 2nd DS. This was a bit hard for her too since she wanted a girl and I ended up with my 2nd girl. She did want a boy her first. about 1 year later she started TTC again I was not evem close to being ready yet. She then had another mc. after trying for another year. She has been trying ever since and still nothing. They have been seeing specialist and been on clomid ect. and tried several rounds of ivf as this was the normal since they have been doing this after their first year TTC even before her 1st baby. I have been there for her for all of them we have cried many tears and as she is my sister and BF I felt like I lost a baby too every time she did. Even though I know the pain I felt was a mustard seed compared to what she went though. Now she does have a few complications working against her to get pg for both her and her husbands. About a year ago my husband wanted to start trying again and I wanted to too but, my sister means more to me so I asked him if we could wait a bit longer and give her some more time to try. He (a man) did not understand but said ok. My sis and I are still BF and she now has been TTC for 3 years her youngest turns 4 in couple weeks so, 3 yrs TTC now. She is planning on staring another round of clomid next month. Please Read Part 2View Thread