Trying to Conceive: After Loss Community
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often it's the songs... that lead to thoughts. often it's the certain days of the week...often it's THE shirt i was wearing... often it's the rainy autumn days...
although the feelings and tragedy behind it, i am glad that you came up with when you did. you needed it. i think lots of ladies on here needed it too. thanks for sharing. we always welcome different ways of coping.View Thread

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(baby dust to all!!!) and of course...
~oOo~ ~oOo~ ~oOo~ ~oOo~ ~oOo~ ~oOo~
(spermies finding eggs!)
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when i was crying when i woke up this morning, i thought of you ladies! and how COMPLETELY LOST i would STILL be without you. you all truly lifted me up on the days that i needed someone to understand what i was going through, the most. my husband still doesn't quite understand and i truly adore all of your friendships!View Thread

i did finally tell him. i actually ended up telling him on friday afternoon, after i got my number.
IT WOULD BE AMAZING IF YOU ALL COULD COME ON THIS JOURNEY TOGETHER!!! i already miss all of you cuz i am not checking in 8 times a day!
but
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thank you for the apology. i was more offended on what was written and how the other ladies feelings weren't considered before it was written. i, too, apologize for my harsh words. we all have had bad days and a BFP, from ANYONE, can sting like a sharp blade ripping through one's heart.
here is my update. on wednesday/thursday i got a 20. on monday i went again and i got a 180.
so yey! yesterday i went for another hcg draw & also yesterday i went to the hemotologist and she said that she was upset with her staff of people who schedule the appointments because when i called and said i got a BFP and that i needed to get seen to be on lovenox, they should have scheduled me for either that same day or the day after. NOT a week later. so she was very thankful to my OB's nurse who offered it to me on wednesday when i was there last week getting my first draw. silly me though, i wanted to get my number first to see if i even needed the lovenox before i went and spent more money than i needed. luckily i only had to wait only one day to get the results.
so now that i have 6 pokes of lovenox in my belly, it is offically HORRID looking! HA! it seriously looks so much worse than i remember! but, this time around, the pokes don't hurt as bad! weird!
that is my update.
i love each and everyone and i cared more about everyone else's feelings before mine and i just didn't want to see anyone hurt. but i was honestly confused because people were asking for updates, but i KNOW that sometimes, no matter who they are, a BFP is hard to see. i am glad that i checked in, even though i said i wasn't going to! i even logged out! HA! ... didn't stop me though.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* baby dust to ALL!!! i hope to see some more BFPs!View Thread

i am not updating all the time. i was ONLY updating the hcg level, to see if it's even a pregnancy or not. 20 is an either positive or maybe not.
For me to be hopeful and wanting a big number, this is the reason why i am here. to get support when i need it the most. ... because of one, ONE, person. i do believe i am done.
i really, really, truly hope, that no one else took offense to your reply to me, to everyone on here really. this board HAS to stay up and running, because of the many of women who need our support. i am saddened at your words. not for me, but to the women who have had to read what you wrote.
you were always so sweet to me and maybe you are just having a bad day, but WOW. freaking WOW.View Thread

i want to keep you all posted on here, but i am getting "asked" to put my updates on PAL, but here's where i am confused... if the ladies who aren't emotionally up to going to the PAL board still want to know my updates... where do i post?
*i saw that and started to cry. thanks.View Thread

Oops!
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