My husband and I have been together for almost 5 1/2 years, married for over 4 years and 8 months. We werenâ€™t exactly ttc, but we have been having unprotected sex since the very first time we had sex with each other. He let me know from the very beginning that he wanted to get me pregnant, but at only 19 years old I felt like I was way too young for such a big responsibility. I actually started secretly taking my BC again, to be sure I didnâ€™t get pregnant. Sneaky snake, I know. The thought of having kids with him did start to grow on me after a while and I eventually stopped taking BC.
My cycles have been irregular ever since I first met Aunt Flow. Because of that, I wasnâ€™t surprised that my AF stopped coming right after I got off my pills. It did eventually come back, though still not regulated. Months passed, still no pregnancy. I wasnâ€™t too concerned at this point, I just figured it was because my cycles werenâ€™t regular. Plus, we were living in Memphis at the time and I really didnâ€™t want to have to raise a child in that area.
I gained a lot of weight while living in Memphis, about 10 to 20 lbs more than my max weight in Cali. I felt disgusted with myself, so I started working out again. I dropped back down to 105 lbs, the weight I was before I got married. Thatâ€™s when my AF stopped coming. I checked with a doctor and she said my absent cycles were due to my massive weight loss.
During the next few months, I got myself up to a much â€œhealthierâ€ weight of 115 per doctorâ€™s orders. After a few months, I still had no signs of AF. I scheduled another doctorâ€™s appointment and thatâ€™s when my life turned to hell.
After MANY blood tests and ultrasounds, I was diagnosed with PCOS in late November/early December of 2012. I finally knew why my cycles were so irregular, which was somewhat of a relief. At the same time, I was devastated because of the confirmation that I could possibly never conceive naturally. I was still on the fence about whether or not this was the right time to have kids, but it would have been nice to know that it could happen when the time came. My husband had a semen analysis done that came out damn near perfect, so now we knew the focus had to be on me and my body.
Mid-December, I started my first round of fertility treatments. I was given medroxyprogesterone to start my AF, then started my first round of clomid at 50mg. As advised by my doctor, I tracked my ovulation every single day. My body had no response. My next check-up wasnâ€™t until 2 months late, so of course I was anxious.
February was round two. I was given medroxyprogesterone again and this time at 100mg. I had my next check-up entirely too early, IMO, about 2 weeks after my AF. A lot of women ovulate later when taking clomid, so of course I didnâ€™t test positive for a pregnancy at my check-up. So my doctor prescribed me another round of treatments. Medroxyprogesterone and 150mg clomid.
I ended up ovulating the day after my check-up, or at least I think I did. My test could have been wrong. I started taking the medroxyprogesterone anyway, to get my AF started just in case.
The last few times I took medroxyprogesterone, my AF came 4 days after my last pill with light spotting the day before. This last round, my AF didnâ€™t come on time. That definitely got my hopes up way too high. I got excited and thought maybe I was finally pregnant. I chose to wait another week before I actually took a pregnancy test, though. That wait didnâ€™t last too long. Three days after my expected AF, I started getting really bad cramps and the very next day my visitor came. It only lasted about 2 days, and clumped more than flowed (TMI, I know. I apologize). With the high rate of miscarriage in women who have PCOS, I went into panic mode. I definitely had the symptoms of a miscarriage, all I had to do was test to see if I was carrying the â€œbaby hormone.â€View Thread
I reached my character limitation, so here's the rest:
My test came back negative, which was a huge relief but also a giant heartbreak. I mean, I had already started to think I was pregnant, so to have proof that it was nothing was kind of a kick in the gut. After that, my emotions went crazy. I became depressed over what had happened and on top of that, friend after friend after friend after friend kept announcing their pregnancies. Every single day I logged on to instagram, a new person would post a sonogram. After the third day, I just about lost it and broke down. I cried for days. It was horrible.
It"019s been a few days since then. It still hurts, but I"019m slowly starting to feel better about myself again. I just finished my last round of clomid (150mg) not too long ago and I"019m hoping third time"019s a charm. If not, I guess my next option would be an hsg which I am NOT looking forward to.View Thread
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