Adoption Support Group

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Reply: Telling your child about biological father.

Thank you for your input alysag124! It was helpful. I have decided that I will put it off for a few years and...

Posted by acr321

2 Replies | Share this:Telling your child about biological father. Thank you for your input alysag124! It was helpful. I have decided that I will put it off for a few years and...

Reply: I don't know where to start

I am kind of in the same situation as you. My dad adopted me when I was in 5th grade too, but I knew he...

Posted by alysag124

I am kind of in the same situation as you. My dad adopted me when I was in 5th grade too, but I knew he wasn't my real dad since I was younger. He has just always been there for me and I never gave it much thought that I even had a biodad, because I already had a dad who cared for me. It didn't matter if he was blood or not. When I was about 14 I became curious about my biodad and was able to get his name from my mom. Eventually I found him but I never had the guts to contact him. Three years later, I am still debating whether or not I should contact him. I've had a really rocky relationship with my family since I was 13 and that's the reason I decided to find my biodad when I was 14. When I was 16, things in my household became a lot worse and I ended up moving out and living with my best friend and her family (I am currently living here). I really want to contact my biodad but I'm also terrified what my family will think. I don't want them thinking that because we have a rocky relationship, I'm trying to see if he can take me in. That isn't what me contacting him would be about. I just want to know him, his history, and where I came from. What do we have in common? Am I more like him than my mom? What happened between him and my mom? etc. I think one day I will reach out to him, but it will be whenever I am confident enough to handle whatever situation takes place. For your situation, I give you props for having the guts to contact your dad; that's incredible and I wish I was ready to do that. It is also fantastic that your husband isn't afraid to voice his opinion on the matter, but at the same time I feel he should be a little more supportive to what you want. Also, your adopted dad and mom might be hurt initially, but they will realize that you are just curious and that you will always be theirs. It is your right to continue contacting your dad, if you choose to; their is no need in feeling guilty. This is something I must learn too, when I decide to contact my dad. I hope sharing my story and perspective will help you decide what you should doView Thread

Posted by alysag124

1 Reply | Share this:I don't know where to start I am kind of in the same situation as you. My dad adopted me when I was in 5th grade too, but I knew he...

Reply: did anyone else have issues with family members wh...

Hello Tate, I am experiencing very similar negativity from my Husbands family members. Our niece was...

Posted by granny4me

1 Reply | Share this:did anyone else have issues with family members when going through the adoption process? Hello Tate, I am experiencing very similar negativity from my Husbands family members. Our niece was...

Reply: Adoption story

Yay! I wish you all the best of luck. I understand the adoptee's side of the story, and if you have any...

Posted by WildSpirit009

1 Reply | Share this:Adoption story Yay! I wish you all the best of luck. I understand the adoptee's side of the story, and if you have any...

Reply: I'm was adopted...having fears & need an ear & voi...

I can completely agree! I was adopted at the age of two years, and I know that I may have been raised by...

Posted by WildSpirit009

5 Replies | Share this:I'm was adopted...having fears & need an ear & voice? I can completely agree! I was adopted at the age of two years, and I know that I may have been raised by...

Reply: taking the plunge into adoption via DFS

Things have really gotten away from me. "Sam" was with us from August 23 to Dec 10th. We did apply to...

Vicky(34), married 10 years, no children. Fought (and lost) infertility for all 10 years. Adopting a baby boy due Christmas Day! Also licensed foster parents.

Posted by fiannakyn

20 Replies | Share this:taking the plunge into adoption via DFS Things have really gotten away from me. "Sam" was with us from August 23 to Dec 10th. We did apply to...

Reply: What do you think i should do?

Hey hun, it's been 3wks since your last post. Is all well? Did you get to meet your LO yet? Facing any new...

Posted by RoseLynn02

20 Replies | Share this:What do you think i should do? Hey hun, it's been 3wks since your last post. Is all well? Did you get to meet your LO yet? Facing any new...

Reply: My sister is adopted. I want to help.

Wow. I'm glad she has a loving sister like you! Maybe tag along with them on the next doctors apointment...

Vicky(33), married 10 years, no children. Fought (and lost) infertility for all 10 years. Moving on to adoption, currently in process of being licensed with DFS of Missouri to foster.

Posted by fiannakyn

1 Reply | Share this:My sister is adopted. I want to help. Wow. I'm glad she has a loving sister like you! Maybe tag along with them on the next doctors apointment...

Reply: Hello .... want to adopt

well his assumption are pretty rare. It also depends on what kind of adoption you're interested in. ...

Vicky(33), married 10 years, no children. Fought (and lost) infertility for all 10 years. Moving on to adoption, currently in process of being licensed with DFS of Missouri to foster.

Posted by fiannakyn

1 Reply | Share this:Hello .... want to adopt well his assumption are pretty rare. It also depends on what kind of adoption you're interested in. ...

Reply: Pregnant and thinking about giving up

I'd like to point out that your child is not a toy to be played with. You don't get to say to your husband...

Posted by Anon_73805

2 Replies | Share this:Pregnant and thinking about giving up I'd like to point out that your child is not a toy to be played with. You don't get to say to your husband...

in addition to the foster- I was contacted about a...

last week I was contacted by a casual friend's 16 year old daughter. T is pregnant and concidering an...

Vicky(33), married 10+ years, no children. Fought (and lost) infertility for all 10 years. Moving on to adoption, currently in process of being licensed with DFS of Missouri to foster.

Posted by fiannakyn

0 Replies | Share this:in addition to the foster- I was contacted about a private adoption situation last week I was contacted by a casual friend's 16 year old daughter. T is pregnant and concidering an...

Reply: A future adoptive dad's take on Adoption and foste...

That is awesome!! Good idea Vicky on having him write that! Update: Our DS (adopted) turned one in Feb. He is...

Posted by FrmGirl

1 Reply | Share this:A future adoptive dad's take on Adoption and foster care That is awesome!! Good idea Vicky on having him write that! Update: Our DS (adopted) turned one in Feb. He is...

Reply: Where to Begin?

Congradulations! 1) you should have a lawyer at least look over your paperwork. There is a lot of details...

Vicky(33), married 10 years, no children. Fought (and lost) infertility for all 10 years. Moving on to adoption, starting foster/adoption training with county DFS on March 28th, 2011

Posted by fiannakyn

Congradulations!

1) you should have a lawyer at least look over your paperwork. There is a lot of details that have to be verified. Some states have laws requireing that the birthparents have legal representation.

2) You Can do it without an agancy, you can contact a family law or adoption lawyer directly who can help you do the paperwork.

3) Defiantly have your friend attend counseling, she will have to work through the stages of greif no matter what she decides. in her case, she should go to acceptance pretty quickly, but it can never hurt to have someone to talk to.

4) HomeStudies are usualy done for about $1000-$2000 at the most, I know in MO if I had a private one done it woudl be $1500. google 1-800 homestudy If i remember right, its a listing of homestudy agancies.

5) I believe UT also is the only state (its either UT or ID) that allows for the adoptive parent's health insurance to pay for part of the birthmother's medical expences. call your insurance company to verify though.

6) Some of the other things you need to discuss with her is birth mother expences- the standard is to at least cover for medical expenses of the pregnancy, and all legal fees and counsuling. Sometimes you can also include a stipen for food and clothing, this is regulated state by state so you may or may not be able to claim those on the tax refund. (some states have laws against birthmother expenses to prevent birthmothers from making a profit by selling the baby) If she doesn't have health insurance, she should enroll in Medicaid which will help you on the costs.

If I remember correctly- the steps are having the home study done, filing papers with the courts as intent of adoption, parental rights termination at birth (or whatever state regulations are), Then finalization which is the absolute end.

Oh and the Birthfather has to be in agreement too. So even if it was a one night stand, he has to be told of the pregnancy and the intent of adoption and he has to sign Termination of parental rights as well. If the birth father is truly unknown, there are procedures to do a termination of rights but I dont know how its done in UT.

all told it should cost well under $5000 for everything though, including legal.View Thread

Vicky(33), married 10 years, no children. Fought (and lost) infertility for all 10 years. Moving on to adoption, starting foster/adoption training with county DFS on March 28th, 2011

Posted by fiannakyn

1 Reply | Share this:Where to Begin? Congradulations! 1) you should have a lawyer at least look over your paperwork. There is a lot of details...

Reply: fost/adoption

I am active also on fertilityfriend.com -its a pay site so no trolls, but the girls on the adoption board are...

Vicky(33), married 10 years, no children. Fought (and lost) infertility for all 10 years. Moving on to adoption, starting foster/adoption training with county DFS on March 28th, 2011

Posted by fiannakyn

1 Reply | Share this:fost/adoption I am active also on fertilityfriend.com -its a pay site so no trolls, but the girls on the adoption board are...

Reply: Special-needs adoption

I have started the actual adoption proccess but you have several options within the special needs segment ...

Vicky(33), married 10 years, no children. Fought (and lost) infertility for all 10 years. Moving on to adoption, hoping to be able to do it via foster system.

Posted by fiannakyn

1 Reply | Share this:Special-needs adoption I have started the actual adoption proccess but you have several options within the special needs segment ...

Reply: New to Adopting

I strongly recomend checking out www.adoption.org They cover everything to do with adoption, even stuff...

Vicky(33), married 10 years, no children. Fought (and lost) infertility for all 10 years. Moving on to adoption, hoping to be able to do it via foster system.

Posted by fiannakyn

1 Reply | Share this:New to Adopting I strongly recomend checking out www.adoption.org They cover everything to do with adoption, even stuff...

Reply: My Sister in law

Thanks for answering. I watched the Oprah yesterday. When my husband came home I told him he had to...

Posted by 77elizabeth

2 Replies | Share this:My Sister in law Thanks for answering. I watched the Oprah yesterday. When my husband came home I told him he had to...

Reply: Adoption issues

I agree with Vicki. I would talk with the adoptive parents in a non-threatening setting...like a church or...

Posted by FrmGirl

4 Replies | Share this:Adoption issues I agree with Vicki. I would talk with the adoptive parents in a non-threatening setting...like a church or...

Reply: Where to start researching?

Usualy your best route is via the DFS, they do straight adoptions too, where the child may have been in a...

Vicky(33), married 10 years, no children. Fought (and lost) infertility for all 10 years. Moving on to adoption, hoping to be able to do it via foster system.

Posted by fiannakyn

2 Replies | Share this:Where to start researching? Usualy your best route is via the DFS, they do straight adoptions too, where the child may have been in a...

Reply: Eligibility question

I agree with irisheyes213, it will depend on the country and agency. Do your research I bet you will find an...

Posted by KL24

3 Replies | Share this:Eligibility question I agree with irisheyes213, it will depend on the country and agency. Do your research I bet you will find an...

Reply: finding biological parents

I would support my daughter if she wanted to find biofather, but I'm not rushing that process anytime soon. We are...

Posted by KL24

3 Replies | Share this:finding biological parents I would support my daughter if she wanted to find biofather, but I'm not rushing that process anytime soon. We are...

Reply: Hello...again

Hi T! And welcome back! I can tell you what we did and maybe it will be of some help! I told EVERYONE we were...

Posted by KL24

2 Replies | Share this:Hello...again Hi T! And welcome back! I can tell you what we did and maybe it will be of some help! I told EVERYONE we were...

Reply: Hello!

Hey Deb! I'm not on much anymore because it's just so darn difficult to find my way around here. But you can...

Posted by KL24

2 Replies | Share this:Hello! Hey Deb! I'm not on much anymore because it's just so darn difficult to find my way around here. But you can...

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