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Have you spoken to a doctor about the difficulty that you've been experiencing to breathe?
Check your symptoms here . You might be able to narrow down what is causing your symptoms.
Ultimately, you really should consult a doctor. You shouldn't have to struggle to breathe everyday and you deserve to have your symptoms recognized, diagnosed and treated so that you can hopefully get some relief.
Please keep us posted.View Thread



I can't imagine what your father-in-law is going through. I remember when my grandmother died, my grandfather would always say, "I feel like I lost my right arm." The bond between certain couples is so strong that when one of them passes on, the remaining of the two is sometimes irrevocably devastated and left feeling lost in this world.
Here are links to information that you might find helpful:
Stages of Grief
Grief & Depression
Grief and Grieving - What Happens
Caring for Someone with Dementia
YOU and your family needs support as well. Those taking care of someone with dementia experience a lot of stress and emotional fatigue. Click here to read more about support for caregivers of patients with dementia.
Have you spoken to you father-in-law's doctors and updated them on his condition? Keep close communication with his doctors, especially now after the death of his wife.
Please give my condolences to your family during this tough, tough time.
We ARE here for you ((hugs)).View Thread



I hope you will check back in and let us know how you're doing!View Thread



The main thing I see is that you need to take better care of yourself in order to deal with this very difficult situation. If you have the nervous breakdown that you fear, that won't be good for anyone. Who would take care of YOU? Who would take care of your kids? Who would take care of your mother?? I would offer the following suggestions:
1. Try to find online support groups. I know there are such groups for cancer-related caregiving; I can't imagine that there aren't any for PD.
2. See a therapist. Some people feel that this is shameful for some reason, but that is a big mistake. Your insurance may pay for it or at least part of it. It did wonders to help me deal with the stressors and feel better and calmer about my situation. It will help you stand up for yourself which is very hard, I know, and it will also help with your feelings of guilt and annoyance with your mother.
3. It's great that you take time to drive around a while by yourself - congratulations on doing this! Go one step further and set up a regular schedule for "you-time." Make arrangements for someone to cover for you while you're gone. Can your teens do it? Take your cell phone so you'll still be available in an emergency, but lay down the law that it can only be used "if something is bleeding or burning." These times are not negotiable... if anyone doesn't like it that has to be their problem, not yours. Knowing these times are coming will give you energy by having something to look forward to. You can't be a good caregiver if you don't take time for yourself... "Put on your own oxygen mask before helping others with theirs."
4. Schedule some exercise for yourself, even if it's a walk every morning at, say, 7:00am. 30-minutes (about a mile and a half) should do the trick. I am lucky enough to have a group to walk with which helps me keep on schedule. I guess you could say this is part of your "you-time" but should be IN ADDITION to the scheduled "you-time" that I suggested in item 3 above.
5. Treat yourself to something (or things) that will soothe you. A mani-pedi? A massage? A movie? Use your "you-time" and enjoy yourself. Just the feeling that you treated yourself to something that is just for you will be calming.
6. Can you have lunch with some friends once a week? Once a month?
I wish you the best - look up in the stands and you'll see me rooting for you!View Thread




Dad needs to at the very least take a cough medicine similar to Robitussin®, to stop the annoying, raspy, thick-mucus-producing cough he has EVERY DAY. (He could, as well, have something wrong with his lungs, which would require seeing another specialist about which he may not be really crazy... but the doctor apparently does not yet consider that necessary) He seems to think that his cough will ONLY respond to a medicine that, as far as I have ever found, is only available as a pill on which, given another symptom he has had, he could choke, something I have been told by others in my family I am to prevent, even at, apparently, the risk of my own life... Dad can be a quite violent person, and was known to have severely injured others while fighting when he served in the Army in the 1950s, and that mindset has never completely left him...
All I want to do is call his doctor, and leave her a message that this cough has never gone away, even if for whatever reason it does not occur when he is physically at her office. Other members of the family, however, insist on keeping from me the right to decide whether even to contact the doctor, contending it is the result of some decision dad reportedly made over 20 years ago to "protect his privacy." I do not and never have understood the Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act of 1996, among other laws that reportedly apply to situations like this, and don't have (access to) adequate resources that would enable me to (effectively) challenge what my family have said.
I understand from other sources that it's potentially against HIPAA to endeavour to convince other professionals to intervene in dad's situation even though his insurance may not require the primary doctor's referral to seek their services, but this is about directly contacting the primary doctor to relay important information she doesn't always encounter by her own observation. Nobody's ever assured me that calling his doctor directly and telling her what's happening with him outweighs the possibility that she would allegedly be required under HIPAA, or something, to notify my family and create the risk of them, for example, evicting me from the house. I'd love to be able to talk in a place like this about MY problems, except that they involve a non-conventional approach that is seen as politically incorrect here.
So, should I call the doctor directly, and risk the family's wrath, or continue to see dad cough and cough and cough and cough, day after day after day after day, without resolution apart from, say, my voluntarily leaving the household?View Thread






He is very understanding about what he has done, once it is brought back to his attention. And I always try to remember that sometimes it his perception of control, his need to think he is in charge when so much of his body and environment are not permitting him control.View Thread



At the moment, my spouse is pretty much house bound because of anxiety disorder. When we celebrate a holiday we pick a meal we both really want, and sometimes do a little decorating. Myself, I also celebrate by keeping in touch with my online friends and celebrating in the various online games I play in my spare time.
When I did caregiving I would sometimes help my clients decorate or do special holiday shopping.View Thread



"Give someone a fish and they eat for a day. Teach them how to fish [then let them practice and struggle> and they'll eat for a lifetime."View Thread



Maybe it's just me, but I find that adventures really take my mind off of the situation. Just last weekend I rented a motorcycle and rode up the coast with some friends, spending the night, and then riding back. (In case you were wondering, this was up the Pacific Coast Highway starting in Los Angeles and riding through Malibu and Santa Barbara, staying in Solvang.)
That may seem like a pretty extreme thing to do, but I've been riding motorcycles all my life until I had to give mine up about 10 years ago. I'd been threatening to do this for some time now, but last weekend I finally did it and I had a ball. Just what I needed!
Have you been on any adventures as a way of dealing with your caregiving stress?View Thread



If I were to attach a pill to feeding the cat, I would probably put the pills on top of the cat food. I've tried what you suggested but if I didn't physically attach the two items I might still forget one of them!View Thread




Then, when I get old, I don't see any real option to have a retirement fund - I still pretty much live paycheck to paycheck and have no financial safety net. With no children, eventually I will probably be at the mercy of the younger people around me. I don't want the government to fix everything for me, that's not the government's job. But LESS government interference would make it easier for me to save up so I can take care of myself when I get too old to work.
With Social Security going far beyond the span for which it was designed, and more taxes on inheritances and such, I really do wonder what my fate will be when I can't work anymore. As it is, I have no retirment planned unless I manage to sell a painting or something to some rich person and get the start of a nest egg.View Thread



1. What is the best way to get help from you or your office after hours? Do you have someone on call or a partner clinic or ?
2. What symptoms or behaviors should I look for that would indicate something to you? What would constitute an emergency?
3. Are there any symptoms or behaviors that are expected or normal that I might find alarming?
4. How will I know if _______ medication is working? How long would it typically take for that to happen?
5. Do you think it is safe to leave him/her alone? For how long?
6. Does it make sense in our situation to get a medical alert system? Is there one that you recommend?
7. What is the best way to learn how to safely move him/her, such as in/out of wheelchair, bed, and car?
8. Do you have any recommendations for local home caregiving/help?View Thread



You can use a notebook, an Excel spreadsheet, a looseleaf binder, or whatever, but it helps to have it all on one written/printed sheet so it's portable. If you are feeling really ambitious, it would be good to keep copies of older lists for history purposes.
Here's what needs to be on the list:
Name of medication
Strength
How many taken per day
What times taken per day
Any special instructiosn (crush pill, no grapefruit, etc)
Optional: what doctor wrote the prescription
This is essential if you ever go to the doctor or hospital. It can help the doctor or pharmacist check for interactions, track side effects, or simply refill the prescriptions more easily. If the person goes off a medication, make sure it's taken off that list. This will also help a lot if another caregiver has to fill in.View Thread

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